Should I leave my stressful hybrid job for a fully remote role?

[LorenzoCalzone]

I'm having a hard time right now.

I'm finding work very stressful. 2026 has been especially hard. I work 24 hours a week (4 days x 6hours) but regularly do 12 hour days to manage worload. I've flagged it with manager, get sympathetic noises, then the work keeps coming.

I've regularly cried about work. On the late nights I become a shit parent, barely time to cook tea, and get irritable when asked to give more.

We work hybrid, they've decided to get stricter about office presence. I find the office very difficult. Its noisy with music playing and chat. I need quiet to focus. So I sit with noise cancelling earbuds on. On office days I go home with a headache, and often have to pick up work I've not tackled during the day due to interruptions. The thought of more office days isn't appealing.

Alongside this my ds started secondary. He is miserable and I'm dealing with his upset. I hope it will pass as time goes on, but this week has just been sp difficult to manage alongside work.

I'm not getting any support at home. I'm a single parent and my ex has no contact with me and ds. My wider family don't seem to see me as a person with needs. It's like I'm mum to everyone, even my own parents.

I've seen a job that is 30k, I'm on 50k full time wage but due to part time hours I earn about 30k - so my income would be the same. It's fully remote - which appeals hugely as I can't stand the office. It's not managing anyone - another part of my current role I don't enjoy.

I'm so tempted to apply and try to simplify my life. I'm thinking I could get a dog, something I've wanted for so long. My pension would take a hit - I'm 51.

I know it's daft to make big decisions during tough times. But it's been a tough time for the past 3 years so maybe I need to make a leap.

Can I ask for some advice please? X

i wouldn’t get ahead of yourself, you haven’t applied yet. But you should, it doesn’t sound like anything will change where you are and it’s not sustainable for you. Even if you don’t get it then it will probably be the push you need.

If you can stomach being on the same money for more hours I would absolutely do it! It sounds like your quality or life would be much better.

If you get it, assert healthy boundaries from the start and dont work beyond your contracted hours.

You could also try to negotiate on salary if offered the role. Very unlikely to match your current £50k but you could maybe get mid-30s.

Thanks thats a good point, the role goes up to 35k. I assumed I'd start at the bottom but I'd be daft not to ask.

I went in at the top of the band in my current role, event thought the advert said that all new starts would start at the bottom. I said I couldn't move for less and they gave me it, so it's worth a try if you get to that stage.

I actually found moving to full time work less stressful. I honestly think a lot of part time roles are just full time jobs in disguise. And more is expected of you at home (friends and family) because you “only work part time”.

When I worked part time, I found I would scrabble around trying to get things finished on my last working day of the week as I felt I couldn’t leave it until I returned. Which meant I was actually over-performing, working at a relentless pace and essentially doing the same hours as someone working full time, just not being paid for it. I realised work had stopped appreciating my productivity and had come to expect essentially full time outputs when they queried why I hadn’t completed an additional task that wasn’t even mine to complete.

When I switched to full time, I realised I could just pick things up the next day. My pace levelled out and I was loads calmer and happier. Can you move to full time in your current role? If you’re manager is a bit of a twit and has come to expect however, you’d possibly need an iron will to fend off additional work / responsibilies.

Whatever you do, just make sure you’re not generating some of the workload yourself by being busy all the time and having high standards. I’ve also learned to say “no” now, or “sure, I can take a look at that next week when I have some capacity. Right now I’m at capacity.” Having always been a people pleaser, I’ve found it amazingly freeing and surprising (at first) that no one ever challenged my no. Who has the right to make you work for free and to burnout?

I appreciate it really depends on your role and I understand managing people comes with it’s own set of demands.

Trust your gut. If I were you, I’d apply for the job, or at least meet the recruiter for a chat. If you like the sound of it, go for it. Then if you don’t get it or are undecided, see what your current team are willing to do.

Thanks @mooshkymoo full time at my current job doesnt appeal. I'd have to be in the office more, and that would make me miserable. The directors are very unpleasant people, constantly sniping about people and never seeing their own failings. It drags me down.

I think I will apply and see what happens x

100% apply for it. Life is too short.