Worries my child won’t be a nice adult

[footballmadboys]

Hi everyone. I have a seven year old son (year 2) who I am increasingly worried about. His behaviour started around 6 months ago and includes:

1. kicking off at the slightest thing - high pitched wailing, throwing things, storming off, hitting / kicking when not getting his way
2. very attached to me - wanting to cuddle a lot of the time, saying he loves me so much he wants to “hurt me” and then squeezing me very tightly
3. random unprovoked attacks - will come over and hit one of us in the family suddenly very fussy with food
4. saying nasty things like “shut up” “I hate you” “die”

This is a total change in behaviour from the previous 6 / 7 years of his life and it’s stopped me from taking him anywhere or seeing friends and family because I just cannot predict his behaviour and it can be quite shocking at times.

I am really worried he will turn out to be a horrible adult with no friends and deeply unhappy - am I crazy for thinking that?! Is this just a phase or a sign of what’s to come?

This sounds hard OP. I think if it were me I would be trying to get to the bottom of this sudden change in behaviour. What is happening at school, in your family, with his friends? What's different? Did the behaviour ease off over summer holidays or stay consistently bad?

Is he ok at school OP? With a sudden change like this I'd be worried about bullying.

Also, does he have any screen time? Could he be accessing anything that's not age appropriate?

Only thing to mention is a throat clearing / sniffing tic that appeared 3 months or so before the change in behaviour.

He has screen time but regular tv as opposed to iPad - Netflix and iPlayer

Does he have a tablet? What’s he seeing on YouTube? I have to warn the grandparents about this as they aren’t aware of what’s appropriate. We don’t have a tablet but DS is very easily influenced by TV / online content…

Bluntly, OP, I’d be far more concerned about what’s happened to cause this sudden change (illness? bullying? Abuse? inappropriate online content?) than about whether he will have friends as an adult or what family or friends think. Have you taken him to your GP? Spoken to his teacher?

@footballmadboys Sounds like PANS/PANDAS.. PANS/PANDAS is one possibility doctors may consider when there is an abrupt and dramatic neuropsychiatric change, particularly when OCD or severe food restriction appears suddenly along with other symptoms such as aggression, emotional lability or tics.

Call Camhs- he needs to see a child psychiatrist. We can only speculate here.

He doesn’t have a tablet. He does get screen time but it’s Netflix or iPlayer as opposed to the likes of YouTube.

I’ve heard of PANDA/PANS but hadn’t considered it - thanks for the suggestion. Going to look into that further.

You have 10 years to find out what is going on and adress it. Speak to teachers. Refer to psychologist.

I thought PANS/PANDAS and then you mentioned a sudden tic onset. Do look into it. There is a super uk Facebook support group

Possibly consider an autism assessment. It can get missed for years.

The tic can be a response to trauma or shock or upset. Definitely get to the bottom of it.