Before I met my husband I dated a few guys. There was one in particular that I met online and we had a first date which was nice and then he talked his way into coming round to my house on the second date. I’d made it clear I wasn’t up for anything sexually. We had kissed and flirted.
We went into the kitchen to make a cuppa and he was getting handsy. I was laughing and jokingly telling him to stop and he was behind me with me pressed into the counter from the front. I don’t remember everything clearly but he obviously was trying it on.
It resulted in him having sex with me from behind. He told me he knew I wanted it. I feel conflicted as I think I enjoyed it and I definitely enjoyed feeling irresistible and like he just couldn’t help how much he fancied me. And maybe I did want it. I don’t know. We dated for a bit after that and I slept with him very willingly the rest of the time. It’s just that that keeps playing over in my head
I don’t want to take this anywhere and I’m still trying to convince myself that this wasn’t right. I don’t know why I’m posting really. Just keep going over it in my head. Not sure why it’s coming up now.