Is this ok for a picky M in Law visit?

[Lemontreeinthecity]

When your in- laws come for a visit, if, like mine, live far away so need to stay over a few nights…how much cleaning of the house do you do?
Bearing in mind I have kids, work, hubby works full time long hours….
Ive cleaned the guest room today, cleaned all the ensuite. Tidyed up as much as can with little ones… cut the lawns…weeded…
Feel like I should just let them take it as it is. I’m a bit over pleasing a MinL who will tell people what she thinks anyway…

what do you do? Also if they said they wanted to stay for nearly a week and you thought a few nights, what would you say? My hubby isn’t super close with them. He would rather they not come. Yep that’s where I’m at. I’m doing this for the little ones.

hubby works full time long hours

As do many married men and women who still don't leave it all to their spouse.

I'm sure he could've used some of his precious after work time to do his bit.

As long as it's the house is tidy, dusted and vacuumed, and the bathrooms and kitchens are thoroughly cleaned, it's all good.

Honestly? I really don’t get the ‘leave it for your husband, they’re his family….’, they’re not….they're your inlaws, the grandparents of your children. It should be a joint effort of course. MN really is weird about these things.

I get it OP, I used to find it very stressful planning for a visit from the PIL, we're just very different people, although their hearts were always in the right place. Sadly MIL can no longer visit (in a care home with dementia), but we sometimes have FIL to stay, it's not fun.

It sounds like you've made your guests' space tidy and clean, and as long as you don't generally live in a dust bucket, I'm sure it'll be fine. Sometimes I see visits (not just from PIL) as a good opportunity to get on top of some jobs I don't normally get around to.

While my focus tends to be on a clean and tidy house and meal planning, DH tends to focus on getting DIY jobs done, making sure his car is clean etc - he gets as stressed about it as I do, but in a different way.

If they announce they're staying longer than expected, I'd probably make it clear that you will still need to go about your normal day to day business as you hadn't anticipated the stay to be so long. And then DO IT. I'd probably also say I didn't have sufficient food in. And I'd hope they'd offer to take us out for at least 1 meal as thanks...

My hubby isn’t super close with them. He would rather they not come. Yep that’s where I’m at. I’m doing this for the little ones.

I would really counsel against this approach. Your DH knows them best. If he doesn't think they are good to have around, then over riding that judgement is seems pretty poor and not actually in your DC's best interests.

Did your DS or DIL invite you or did you invite yourself? It sounds as though they didn't want you to come.

I really can't remember! (It was a few years ago now). But, yes, that was how I felt. I don't think they didn't want us to come, but just couldn't be bothered to make us feel welcome.
Anyway, I just wanted to say to the OP that all the trouble you have gone to is more than enough, and I hope it is appreciated!

Why are you going to all this effort - is it because you think you'll be judged if the house isn't as spick & span as she'd like?

You aren't her son's housekeeper.

I wouldn’t have dh’s family come to stay if he wasn’t close to them and didn’t want them there. I’m not close to my family and don’t want to see them. I’d be really pissed if dh invited them anyway and I’d put a stop to that.

But to answer your question, when dh invites his family to stay, he organises pretty much everything. I will do certain things like hoovering and mopping because I’m very particular about them. And I tend to do the food shopping and cooking, because again, I like certain types of foods and I’d like to eat nice things. But he does all the cleaning, sorts spare room, bedding, tidying, garden, etc. He also does the bulk of the hosting and running around apart from cooking. I have a lie in and he gets up and makes everyone coffee and breakfast. His family, not my job to make sure they are well looked after.