Urgent help needed

[Tattydh]

My child, 15yr old boy, came to me this morning and admitted that four years ago his Father, we are still together, sexually assaulted him and he never told me before.
This came as a massive shock to me and I had no idea at all of anything happening and so this has come out of nowhere to me.
I called the Police and they have taken his Father to the station for questioning but I have not heard anything since. I was expecting a telephone call from a specialist officer but they’ve not called yet and I’m just sat at home waiting while my mind is rushing at a million miles an hour.
Has anyone ever gone through this before and are able to tell me what I can expect to happen now?

The police might not allow your husband to return to the family home at present.
He also might be held overnight and bailed in the morning.
He will need a solicitor.

Call the NSPCC for advice. You can also ring social services and ask to speak to the duty social worker.

I’m sorry you and your son are going through this. Well done on contacting the police.

They won't let him return the family home. The police will arrange to question yourself and your son and any other children you have.

The police spoke to him and I this morning then took him to the station but I have not heard from them since.
I have heard from a Duty Social Worker but only to make sure that we felt safe, she didn’t have any news as yet

I'm so sorry for you both and don't have advice, but I just wanted to say that it's wonderful that your son felt he could come to you now and that you have immediately done the right thing in believing and protecting him. Sending strength 💐

Could Childline provide some initial support in the meantime? 0800 1111.

So sorry you are dealing with this OP, strength to you.

You might find https://www.stopitnow.org.uk/family-and-friends-forum/ useful

Any progress OP? What a horrific situation to be in. Well done to you and DC for doing the right thing

Well done op, for acting to take this monster out both your lives. Your poor son, thus is as horrendous as it gets, he can never come near him again and your son will likely need life long therapy to even start to come close to accepting is father is an incestuous paedophile with an attraction for your boys,

Try not to worry. The fact you believed your ds is key.
And you acted.

Don't worry about ex. His fate lies in someone else's hands.

Keep the door locked incase he tries to come back .
Your ds will be interviewed without you present but you can be in the same building.

Thoughts are with you op. Ime it's daunting but yoi absolutely both will be fine.

I would imagine that you won't hear anything until the perpetrator is charged, or released. There won't really be anything to tell you until then.

You done the right thing OP. And don’t for a second doubt it.

The police won’t tell you anything around their questioning, you’ll only hear if he’s been officially charged/released. If the latter, conditions surrounding it.

My SIL was in a very similar situation with her ex and my niece.

The police let them know when he was being released and what his release conditions were.

We are in Scotland but expect it will be similar, If they haven’t already, they will want a formal statement from both your son and you. When you have a bit of time, it’s worth jotting down some of the details of what your son told you, and what you said or did when you spoke to the police, while it’s still fresh in your mind. It could be months, or even longer, before it gets to court and, if he pleads not guilty, having those notes may help you remember the details accurately.

You may also need an appropriate adult for your son. As you are a witness, you may not be able to fulfil that role yourself.

I sat with my niece as her appropriate adult while she gave her statement, and heard a lot of what had happened for the first time. It was honestly one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, try to get someone he can trust. Surprisingly my family were angry at me for respecting my nieces wishes and not sharing the details of that statement until she was ready.

And don’t underestimate what abusers can do to try to manipulate you once they’ve been exposed. Equally, don’t underestimate how adamantly some of his family and friends may disbelieve your son. They may be in complete denial, but it’s something to be prepared for.

Not sure how to finish this post other than to say I am so sorry this has happened to both of you.