my marriage?
I’d appreciate any thoughts on this. It’s like I don’t know what is normal now. Been married 20 years with 2 kids. We’ve had a fair amount of stressful events between us, I guess just normal life. Dealt with infertility, 2 parents dying, unexpected pregnancy at a late age and dealing with a colicky baby for 6 months which sent me into an absolute mental crazy place!
I have a massive amount of resentment for my husband and I’m not great at forgiving and forgetting. When my mum died he was suddenly busy with work and wasn’t great with it. When I got pregnant at 41 and my head was as all over the place, we discussed him ringing the abortion clinic. I couldn’t face it. He didn’t do it, saying he was too busy with work.
Then, when I had the baby I found out he was addicted to porn. I walked in on him wanking a few times. He said this was my fault as we weren’t getting on. He’s admitted that he is addicted to porn and this gives me the biggest ick ever. I’m guessing it wasn’t just a watching porn as found out he’d been ‘liking’ posts from women on Reddit. Prob been communicating with them but I can’t prove it.
I don’t remotely find him attractive anymore. The wanking over other women and lack of support killed it for me. I feel so stuck, I know I have to get out but I don’t want to ruin my children’s lives.