Sorry it’s a long one but could really do with some advice as I’m unsure if past trauma is making me overreact to this. I’m a single parent & my 5 yo son & myself are staying at my dad’s house for a few days. We were having dinner tonight just my dad & DS. Ds was struggling to sit down properly, lying on the chair, getting up and walking around etc., burping at the table after being told not to multiple times. All bad behaviour I know. I told him if he can’t show any manners he’s going to miss pudding and the film we were going to watch. He was just about to sort himself out when my dad starts shouting at him, saying he’s got no manners and he’s never going to eat dinner with him again, that he needs to go straight to bed if he’s going to be like that. DS got upset and threw an empty plastic cup across the table. I said ok we’re going to bed. Went upstairs. Explained to him that it wasn’t ok, grandad is much more strict than me with table manners and we’re in his house and need to respect his rules. And told him he needed to say sorry for not listening & throwing the cup across the table. He came down and at first cried cos he didn’t want to say sorry but eventually said it. My dad just raised his voice again saying it wasn’t acceptable, calling him unmannered, rude, and he’s not going to eat with him again until he could show some manners. DS was crying as unusual for grandad to shout at him (we only see him every few months). My dad then starting laying into me basically saying it was my fault he was like that (he isn’t usually like this, but he’s 5, he’s still very young and can be difficult sometimes). He also said he asked him a question earlier and he “ignored him” and I was “bringing him up to be rude” (I wasn’t there at the time). He wouldn’t have ignored him, he either wouldn’t have heard, wouldn’t have understood and frozen, been too engrossed in a game or frozen from shyness. He takes a really long time to warm up to people he hasn’t seen in a while. My dad & I ended up having an argument, with him saying everything was my fault and me saying he had no idea about how children’s brains work, and that I’m bringing him up very different to how I was brought up. I don’t want him to be scared of me, I want to get to the bottom of why he’s acting a certain way (I’m not a purely gentle parent, I shout sometimes and tell him to just do what he’s bloody told sometimes!) but I do believe in trying to figure out why a child is being “naughty” if it’s out of character for them, which it was for him. Anyway, I took DS to bed and burst into tears. My dad was very controlling with me as a child, very strict, and when I was a teenager, emotionally abusive, I got blamed for everything, he manipulated me, I was constantly shouted at, I wasn’t allowed to have negative emotions or talk about my feelings. Nothing was ever his fault etc. But he was also a great dad in many ways. Always been physically there, always worked hard to provide for us kids, always helped me with money when I needed it. Always told me he loved me. So as an adult I’ve always had a decent relationship with him, if slightly strained. But now I just want to take my son and get the hell out of here. I feel the same old feeling I felt as a kid, that everything is my fault and I’ve ruined everything as usual and it’s really, really upsetting me. I also don’t want to risk my son possibly not having “perfect” table manners again tomorrow night and having a repeat of this. I’d rather just leave. I feel like I can’t breathe here. Problem is my dad lives in a remote part of Wales and we have no car here. We’d need to get him to drive us to the train station tomorrow if we were to go. Which will probably cause another argument (and I’ll be called selfish for not staying till the weekend). What would you do? Just put up with it till Sunday or leave first thing in the morning?