what was your financial position if you had children in late 20s/early 30s?

[handus]

We have just bought a small 3 bed flat for £320k that needs renovations. Our savings will be just under £50k. Haven't been on holiday in 8 years to save up. Our household income is £60k a year. We are TTC.

None of my friends are having kids as they cant afford it so I'm interested in what being able to afford it looks like.

We had ours young (early 20s), before we owned, start of our careers. It actually (unintentionally) was hugely advantageous because we got huge amounts
of tax credits towards our childcare bill. Being able to
afford the childcare meant we were able to progress and by the time ours were about 10 and 7ish we had a 6 figure household income, they’re teens now and in an even stronger position. The key was progressing fast enough that by the time they were in primary school I’d got out of the low paid work to own my diary and have flexibility which really helps in the school years.

I have to say for transparency we had very cheap accommodation through DH’s work, we bought ourselves in our early 30s when the kids were primary school age.

The main cost is childcare really, have you got any family who will help with this? Do you have maternity pay? You need to work out the approx monthly amount you will need and have a plan to cover this.

Just finished uni with the first one, three years later with the other one. We bought a house for 70 K which was rank and we did it up over a few years.

It’s never the right time to have a child. However, we are in our mid 40s now with pretty much adult children. Siblings who advised us against having children so young because we couldn’t afford it are now in their 40s with toddlers and still on the school run!! So definitely feel we had a better deal. It’s definitely not all about money having young children, we did lots of outdoors, picnics, cheap days at the beach and caravan holidays.

I’ve had 3 in the last 10 years, youngest is 4. This was most of my 30s-pregnancy and breastfeeding

Financially we both have full time jobs and a mortgage about £900/month which weve managed to keep fairly stable with long fixed terms. Childcare fees were up to 2k/month with 2 kids in 4 days a week including sibling discount, 50 weeks a year. It started out about £1400 per child without any funding for 4 days we were up to about £1600 for the youngest before the funding kicked in.

We’ve been lucky to sit on low mortgage rates including remortgaging in 2021 at 1.2% which is about to come to an end. Holidays have been local, travelling with little kids hasn’t interested us! Both continued to work, full time (managed 4 days nursery through flex days and holiday). It’s knackering tbh

True.
My adult dc and nieces and nephews have a lot more 'spending money' than we ever had, and much higher expectations of 'normal' over 'a luxury'.

@JustGiveMeReasonI wouldn’t say that’s representative of many, the majority are seeing a larger proportion of income spent on housing

@handusthe main plus is you are on the housing ladder, much harder to achieve this nowadays post dc because of rent & childcare costs.

I was on the dole and had to leave my rented flat due to DV. Luckily I had some savings and lived frugally

As soon as we bought our own house we started trying! I was 25. Now 30 with 2 children

We had 2 kids before we turned 30. Bought our first home for 210k about 3 years before (help to buy with 5% deposit, no family help). Never really had substantial savings. In terms of childcare, eemember that nowadays you will get 30 free hours plus the 20% government tax free childcare. It's not easy - but on a 60k salary you can make it work. You just learn to manage. 10 years later, we have moved and have about 140k equity in the house, have dpubled pur household income, are finally beginning to build some savings and have a reasonably comfortable life. Late 30's now, could not imagine having the energy for the sleepless nights etc. Really glad we did it in our late 20's, everything's a bit easier now the kids are older.

Im currently pregnant with my 1st, we're both 30

Our joint income is 160k a year, but this will obviously go down once she's here as we won't both work full time. Our mortgage is around 1500 a month for a small 4 bed, which we've lived in for 2 years and we have around 50k of savings, ive been saving quite heavily the last year

For us it was more important we'd lived before having DC than being financially ready so we have travelled, eaten out, done lots in our 20s. Even though I think we can definitely afford DC it still feels like we could wait to save more, or spend a few more years on our career and its still scary thinking of how our finances will likely change with childcare and things like that. I dont think there's an ideal time, life is short

First kid at 31, We owned a flat, husband had a good job in the City, I was earning ok money but nursery in London so expensive, meant we had only a few £100 left over from my salary, but I wanted to keep going and after our second child, my salary did go up aa lot and I really pushed hard career wise (flexible working post Covid was a Godsend). Then we were both earning approx 350k plus Bloody tough though and this was over 10 years ago. Barely saw our kids, breakfast club through to supper club, but meant we could pay off mortgage.

We've now relocated overseas and I'm taking a career break for a bit. Money is great but quality of life is also important.
Really feel for younger people today it's pretty shit atm.

My recommendation would be if you could live near family then do, sadly wasn't an option for us. Push as hard as you can while you're younger.

Mortgaged on a cheaper crappier house than we could have afforded. Did the work ourselves.

Got used to living off one wage in the few years before so when I did go off on mat leave it wasn't so bad.

Had kids long before our friends as that's what we wanted. Means ours are indepent now, we have time to ourselves, able to holiday as a couple and have more money. Friends are doing kids parties on weekends and struggling with childcare from elderly parents.

Not a dig btw, just the reality of having small kids in your late 40s, you are older and your parents are even older!

Pregnant with first child age 33, salary under £30k and husband under £20k. Shared ownership flat in nice city… no savings so I saved hard during pregnancy to build up enough to take a year of maternity leave. We lived like monks!

Maternity leave was really cheap because I had plenty of time to bake, scour shops and online for cheap deals etc. We spent a lot of time doing free stuff together, taking coffees every where! Blissful time. Holiday was visiting family members. Babies are very cheap. Yes nursery was expensive but it was for a very short period in hindsight (and even less now that it’s funded earlier).

Fast forward and that child is about to start secondary school. I now earn £85k and live in a house we own (a modest 3 bed). Can’t afford a holiday this year. Feels like we haemorrhage money whenever we leave the house! Still trying to find cheap or free stuff to do. But we went out for dinner last week and eldest now eats like an adult- it’s very expensive when the kids get older!

I don’t feel any better off now except I actually am on paper due to the net worth we’ve built up over the last 10 years in house equity and investments (pensions, ISAs). Due to huge pay rises I am now projected an extremely comfortable retirement and likely to retire at least 10 years earlier.

So we were cash and asset poor when I got pregnant first time around. Now we are cash poor but asset rich.

I would never have thought my fortunes would change in the way they did. Becoming a mum gave me so much confidence and massively benefited my career trajectory

I remember a quote that stuck with me about having children. Something like - you need money and you need energy. If you have to choose between the two, choose energy.

I would recommend that if you're going to do it, do it as soon as possible. You will never think you have enough money. But the younger you have them, the more time you have with them.

You sound like you’re in a good position so I’d just go for it. Lots of people make it work.

Aged 29, had owned a tiny one bed flat for a few years. Both working.

Fell pregnant quickly and moved back to home town and swapped for a little house needing work. I didnt go back to work for DH has a high earning career and earnings have gone up a lot. We dont have many savings at all but I dont think you can just wait forever. Itll never be perfect.

When they say can’t afford kids’ what do they mean? You can have kids in temporary accommodation on benefits. You just spend what you have.

Totally agree:

Our savings weren’t as high as yours, household income probably similar maybe slightly higher

Big thing was full pay for most of my mat leave, so didn’t need to worry about needing savings for the income drop to statutory maternity pay.

Kids born when we were 29/30 and 30/32. Mortgage at 15% and only one income. Very short of money, Kids dressed in hand me downs and Christmas and birthday presents second hand. We eventually got to be comfortable when the kids were about 10 and 12.

Obviously they mean they can’t afford kids without compromising their lifestyle in a way that’s acceptable to them. Or they’re using it as an excuse so people stop asking them. I don’t think you should take it so literally.

We were more skint than you. Had just bought a house for £295k, needed a fair bit of work. Absolutely no savings left at all. Household income of approx £60k.
13 years on and our household income has more than tripled.

Babies and small children don't care about money, toys, clothes, 'equipment' or any other possessions, they don't even notice them.

What they do notice is if you are happy, love them and give them some time and attention. None of which cost money (well, not directly).