Constantly telling off child

[tooloololoo]

My son is autistic, 4 years old and very limited speech
He is constantly whinging, crying, moaning hitting, kicking and fussing trying to get my attention.
i do give him attention, cuddles and play. But not all the time.

im constantly telling him gentle hands or telling him off. I do try and help him self regulate but it is hard as he is screaming more. So nothing works

at his dads and nursery it’s a different story, he’s very well behaved and on point with his behaviour

im completely exhausted and at times think I’ve just ruined my life!!

My three year old has been hideous. Nothing I do is good enough. Today she’s screamed at me because she wanted a toy Anna and it wasn’t the Anna she wanted and she just goes from 0-100 within seconds. The strategies I’ve read about don’t seem to work - I can’t distract her, it makes her even angrier, acknowledging her feelings makes her even worse and like you say she can’t hear me over her screaming anyway, and all in all it’s pretty depressing. I hear you

Does the telling off work? If not, then maybe rethink your approach. I don’t mean that in a facetious way - just that if you are telling him off more for the benefit of onlookers than for your DS, then perhaps try something else.
My DS didn’t respond to being told off, and he didn’t respond to sanctions, so we gave up on those. He did respond to us asking him silly questions about his special interest, which was planets and dinosaurs when he was four. It often was enough of a distraction that we could switch up the situation. I would ask him if pachycephalosaurus was a meat eater and he couldn’t resist giving me a stern lecture about dinosaur teeth.

3 year olds can be hard work.
What is different at Dad’s/ nursery? Do they use different techniques to manage behaviour or is it more a case of you being the “safe space” for your DS to act out?