Paid to care for Mum

[1717h]

I’m a carer and don’t want to give to many identifying details. Sorry if I’m vague.

I care for a gentleman, not much family help until recently a daughter has suddenly started visiting everyday. Her brother has let it slip that he pays her (with his fathers money) to visit. This daughter does nothing to actually help. I feel it’s all for show as social services are now involved to try and get financial help to pay for this gentleman’s increasing care needs. I struggle with the time I have to get everything done. It doesn’t feel my place to complain about the daughter being paid to do nothing but it does feel uncomfortable. I’m not sure if this is some form of financial abuse.

If money is being taken from an elderly person’s account to pay for a service that is not actually being delivered then that sounds like financial abuse.

Do you have contact yourself with social services? Can you just tell them your concerns that the daughter is not actually caring?

Step back. Let the daughter take responsibility.

Raise it as a safeguarding concern with your employer, it will be looked into as potential financial abuse. You don't need to decide whether it is or isn't abuse to raise a concern, that's for the safeguarding team to do.

I’m a self employed carer. It’s hard to prove that she doesn’t do anything, my word against there’s. She will likely say she’s keeping him company.

If son has legal right to pay you and her and both of you give gentleman satisfaction, fair enough.

We pay a cleaner for my Dad who spends half her time playing cards and chatting. It's positive for his welfare..

I'm a social worker. I'm not sure how the brother paying his sister to come and sit with their dad is going to influence any assessments that are undertaken?

The financial assessment will query where the money is going and why. At the most the final assessor may include it as a disability related expense in the assessment, but unlikely.

If daughter is being paid to provide care (but isn't providing it) then the social worker will query why more care/funding is being asked for from them when technically it should already be being provided?

If the gentleman has capacity and isn't aware his money is being used in this way then it's likely any SW involvement is going to bring that up.

If you struggle to get the tasks done within your allocated time then you need to explain this to the family and ask for more time. I'm surprised this has to be explained to you.

The rest of it is really none of your business - what his daughter does and doesn't do and how much she gets.

I'm a paid companion for the elderly. I just keep them company. Perhaps that what she is, I really don't see what the problem is here.

I have told them I need more time. But apparently money is tight. This gentleman became very unwell recently because of dehydration. No family turned up to help, they still haven’t. I stayed with him at the hospital for 8 hours while he was treated in A&E, it was a horrific place to be for him. I drove him home. I spent 12 hours that day with him, he was delirious. Now I’m being told to do the bare minimum hours. They can’t afford the care but are unable to provide it themselves. This gentleman needs supervision to drink now or will be back in hospital or worse.

I’m a cleaner, happens all the time as elderly parents get older, especially if there’s some dementia or an illness, extremely absent children start turning up out of the blue, it’s all about the money, what they can get now and from the estate when the time comes. Sad but true.

I would tell them that you can look longer provide ANY care as his needs are greater than you can provide. You are being taken advantage of.