I hope MN don't put these 30 days only onto SM as there is worry here of my friend being financially abused.
Inspired by another thread this morning. I have a friend who often asks me to lend her money. It's never much and she always pays me back. However she has recently told me that her partner takes home just under 2k a month. She lives with him in his place and from what she says she pays the rent and food etc. He pays bills. From my household costs I'd guess she pays 3/4 or more of the household costs at least and has zero claim to the rental.
I have said to her that she should set up a joint account but she hasn't. I get the impression she doesn't feel comfortable talking to him about a fair share of splitting bills or putting money aside. Normally I'd say it's none of my business but I'm lending her money which i really didt mind until i heard this. Until recently she had no idea of his income. What really worries me now is that they was planning to move to rental over double in price. They didn't have the money conversation as thats how she has just found out his income, it fell through and she still won't have a sit down to plan finances going forward. I'm worried for her as he doesn't seem to be the emotionally intelligent person she raves about and she is so reluctant to ask him to save and more fairly split costs. But even more I'm worried they move she won't cope with costs and I will be asked to bail out over her asking him.
I can't think what more I can do beyound telling her not to move until they have a shared joint pot of the entire moving costs as I know he will never cough that up. Its never going to happen.
He was supposed to be saving for the last year but in the end applied for a loan for the deposit. Again I know none of my business but I could almost feel a "can you lend me the deposit" request. He wasn't saving. He doesn't share his fair burden. She doesn't feel able to talk to him about finances and joint planning. I'm happy to lend my mate money buy I'm not happy to pay his way when he is seemly spending at least 1k a month on God knows what. No holidays, no hobbies, no car, no dependants. I presume he has no idea I lend her money to buy food and petrol that he has the cash for and he benefits from.