Desperate for a baby but not yet!

[walkonthemoon]

Adding this here as I don’t know which thread is best. It would be good to get a consensus of whether I have lost the plot 😂

DH and I have agreed we want to start a family, and we've decided that we'll start trying next year once we're settled into our new home and he's started his new job.

We're both really happy with that plan and I know it's the right decision for us, so I'm not looking for advice on changing our timeline.

What I'm struggling with is how to cope with wanting a baby now, even though I know it isn't the right time yet. It's like my head knows waiting is the sensible choice, but my heart is already there.

Has anyone else been in this position? How did you manage the wait without letting baby fever take over? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've experienced the same thing.

How old are you, OP?

Well you’ve got a long wait even if you started now. No telling how long until conception and then another 9 months after that… time to practice patience. It’s something you’ll need a lot of as a mother.

32

I have waited 17 years 😂

Honestly, I wouldn't wait, but you don't want feedback on that decision. Instead I will say that conception, pregnancy, and parenting are all one long process of realising how little control any of us truly has over our lives, and the best preparation is to begin acceptance of this now. I'd recommend yoga and meditation, along with anything you need to do to be as physically healthy and fit as you can be in preparation for a pregnancy.

At 32 I would revisit the decision to wait as you definitely want children. You're certainly not anywhere near too old but if you factor in the wait to conceive and possible losses on the way you do start to affect your chances and certainly if you want more than one.

Start your pre-conception vitamins now, eat healthily, cut down on alcohol, stop smoking and/vaping, and you’ll be on part of your pre-pregnancy journey already. Good luck 💐

Maybe if I re-frame it in my mind as the pre-pregnancy phase, I’ll feel better about it. Thank you!

Include pre-conception vitamins for your partner as well! Just both do everything you can in order to benefit a successful pregnancy when you are ready. You didn’t say so I don’t want to presume but if there is even a tiny doubt in your mind about leaving it too late then I would do a fertility test as well to ease the mind.

Well you’ve got another year. So why not focus on preparing? Your health and nutrition during conception is vital as well as during pregnancy. Stop drinking, make sure you’re eating 9 fruit and veg, up your folate and omega 3 oils.

Omega 3 oils for dad should be increased too and alcohol and smoking reduced or stopped.

Maybe do some research into it all as a way to pre-prepare?

She’s 32 not 42.

I would spend the next year enjoying weekends away and holidays honestly. Cram a lot of life into your last year of freedom!

Read ‘it starts with the egg’, 3 months prep minimum 6 months preferred so that would give you perfect timing for next year and redirect your focus. Whilst preparing your body. This also includes your partners health and sperm quality too.

The cut-off for NHS IVF is 35 in some areas 🤷🏻‍♀️

We have definitely been doing this! ☀️

I think it’s 42 here - this could have changed since but I remember my aunt having to pay for IVF when she was 43.

Honestly enjoy your freedom and sleep 😂 trying to conceive, pregnancy, and then having a child is the most extreme test in patience ever so get practising!

This is true. Hampshire and the IOW is one of these areas.

There is never a right time. There is only the time that it actually happens. I would start not not-trying since you want child(ren) and see what happens.

It’s been a 17 year wait so what’s another year or two? 🤣 I’ll make sure I get all the sleep I can get this year. I love my sleep!

In an ideal world, we would! We want to take shared parental leave and that wouldn’t be possible right now. Between that and moving into our new house (which needs work), we need to be realistic.