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Back in the dating game 🫣

4 replies

MyWildOliveGoose · 12/07/2026 20:26

First off.. I am hyper independent and take myself out the dating game quite happily for long periods of time. I split from my children’s father 10 years ago, and was single for 4 years before meeting the love of my life that broke my heart horribly. I’ve been single for another 4 years since and I feel now I’m ready to get back out there again. In my time being single between those two relationships I dated casually a lot and had casual sexual relationships whereas this time I’ve been completely alone 🫣 not one date, no cuddles, no kisses. Part of it is because my heart was absolutely shattered. I really loved my ex partner, genuinely believed we would get married and spend our lives laughing together forever but he decided 2 years on that a drunken hook up was worth the risk of losing me. It took a lot to get over that as he was the first person that’s ever made me feel safe, and then I wasn’t.. I’ve had lots of therapy, and I know that all men aren’t the same even if a lot are.

Really, though.. I am quite hardened now and in talking to new people I am recognising that maybe I need to be softer, but how do I be softer and still protective? Will I feel better after a few dates? Maybe after enjoying the company of a man again? People keep joking that maybe I’m a lesbian now, which I feel is insensitive and quite rude - I think women are absolutely beautiful and incredible but I don’t want to have sex with them and yet I feel men are annoying and inconvenient haha, and I want to have sex with them.. if sexuality was a choice - I know what I’d choose! 🤣

OP posts:
JMSA · 13/07/2026 04:40

This is relatable to me. The dating makes us more cynical than we actually want to be. That in itself is a protection strategy! I’m guessing the right guy will see beyond your prickliness 😁

tanoshi · 14/07/2026 11:31

That's exactly what dating is. A game!. Take it slowly OP.

MondeoFan · 14/07/2026 16:55

Can I ask your age roughly? 30’s? 40’s? I do believe you get hardened to dating as you get older. I’m early 50’s and I think still attractive but part of me can’t take the hurt over and over. Even ghosting upsets me where I’ve been texting for couple weeks and they just disappear

MyWildOliveGoose · 14/07/2026 18:04

@JMSAI am hoping so 😅 although I get pricklier as time goes on and I just want to be soft 🤣

@tanoshiI suppose you’re right.. let the fun begin? 🫣

@MondeoFanI am late 30s.. I had my children very young and definitely didn’t love their dad by any meaning of the word. When the relationship ended I was sooooo relieved he was finally actually leaving. However, my most recent relationship completely broke me because I thought we adored each other, I definitely adored the bones of him. I don’t really care if people ghost me etc, I’m like cool.. I just can’t soften up to even care. It’s almost alien to me now.

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