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When do you let your 4/5 year old out of your sight?

4 replies

innocentize · 12/07/2026 12:27

I really don’t like to let my 4 year old daughter out of my sight very often (when under my care I mean - no problem leaving her at nursery or with grandparents) and I can’t work out if I’m being over protective and anxious or just a responsible parent given her age.

Some examples - a school fete at a local primary school, other parents were sitting on the grass chatting while their kids ran around and played on park equipment at one end but it was too big and busy to have eyes on them the whole time. I wasn’t comfortable letting my daughter go on the basis she’d just come back and find us when she wanted to.

Big adventure style playground - not fenced in and again very busy so again although I know the most likely thing to happen is that my daughter would play, then come back to us later, there’s always the chance she might wander off (she’s not particularly wild or naughty but kids are kids) or even get taken (tiny chance of this I do realise)

Pub garden - sitting in a pub garden on one side of the pub, play area was around the other side of the building. I would want to go with my daughter and sit where she was in my eyeline while she was playing.

I’m OK as long as I know she can’t physically go anywhere - for example in a soft play we have locally where it’s fully enclosed with one door in and out so even if I can’t see her I know she’s in there somewhere.

I’d be interested to know if others feel as I do or if I need to learn to let go. And also at what age you did get more comfortable about trusting them to keep themselves safe and not go awol.

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Thawtfulpanda · 12/07/2026 12:31

I'm more chilled with my second born but actually in those situations I still like to have sight on them. There was an incident a few weeks ago of a 4 year old being taken from a park. My dc are also reckless and will be climbing telegraph poles and drainpipes if not monitored.

ChippyDinner · 12/07/2026 12:33

I’m with you on all those scenarios. I’m a fenced playground with one exit I’d sit near the exit and assume they’d come find me, but if there are multiple routes they could use to leave and I might not see them go then I think 4 is too young to be unsupervised. The risks of anything happening are obviously very low but I still wouldn’t want to take that risk.

Betadelta · 12/07/2026 12:36

With the school fete example I'd be fine to let her run around, assuming the school grounds are enclosed, I wouldn't need to have eyes on her all the time at that age.

A playground or pub is different as she could wander off so I would go with her and keep an eye on her.

innocentize · 12/07/2026 14:07

I’d also be interested to know what age people would feel happy leaving the children to their own devices in the examples I gave

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