Please Divorce advice :( !!!!

[anne1985]

My husband and me are planning to get a divorce ( we just spoke and made the decision although thinking about it for a bit) we have 2 kids and not working as I am a stay at home mum. Also, I would have to go back to my home country , Italy as I couldn’t support ourselves here. He doesn’t have any assets but he owns a business and not really looking forward to share anything with me. (That’s mainly the reason we have decided to separate) What are my options? What advice do you have? I am lost :( pd: forgot to say my kids go to private school and we live a very comfortable lifestyledivor

He has agreed on me taking the kids, as mentioned before now I’m starting to think he just want for us to leave as if I claim for child support and I go with solicitors he might have to share more than what he wants. I also would like to keep children with me and get whatever is considered “fair” according to what he has. My plan was never to take anything from him but to keep my kids and get my life back together and obviously he’ll have to help with that

you are mistaken in thinking he has to provide a home for you and the children. He does not. What is true is the needs of children take priority so assets are shared according to needs. But he is not under any legal obligation to house you if you tendon here ( or return go Italy)

cms us based on income. For self employed people it’s much easier to hide income, and he can set his wage as £12,000 and you’d receive cns on that plus dividends. Not on profits or cash retained in the business. If sole trader it’s based on net profit therefore he can keep expenses high to reduce that and also receive income in cash and not declare it

You’re not taking anything from him.

you are dividing the marital wealth.

he could not have built his business if he had needed to provide childcare and domestic care. But he didn’t, because you didn’t and he agreed to that.

therefore you are entitled to 50% of everything that has been wasn’t during the marriage. Irrespective of who’s name things are in.

get a solicitor. Get as much information as you can about his business . So you have access to bank accounts or savings accounts?

you are spending 2 kids to private school and live comfortably on one wage - he his earning plenty from that business, and half of it is yours.

as well as full child maintenance if he is not interested in the children regardless of what country you live in.

how old are the kids?

No, I don’t have access to any of his savings accounts. I think he is just taking advantage of how naive I’ve been regarding his finances and now he is going to try play things his way. My kids are 4 and 9 years old

Get a solicitor op immediately. It's sounds like he will be happy for you to disappear with full financial responsibility for your children . A solicitor will determine what asserts he has a d what you are entitled to

Op is not e titled to 50%

she is entitled to

all assets held jointly or individually being I the pot for division
a fair share of that, most likely needs based, could be more or less than 50%

Agree with what previous poster said. He’s happy to let you walk away with nothing plus the expense of two kids and he’ll keep everything and find a younger model.

You need a solicitor. Go to women’s aid if you can’t access any money to pay for one.

You have been a bit naive yes, but you can undo that by taking the right action now.

How old are the kids? Will they be happy to only see their dad during holidays?

Don't forget pensions - half of that too x

Op is not automatically entitled to half

Thank you all for your advice and kind words. I’m closing this now