Self-inviting friend strikes again.

[ExpressHydration]

She's struck again and I have only myself to blame.

I have a friend who has a habit of inviting herself along to things. I (stupidly) mentioned that I had booked a table at a place that was showing the football and that me and the kids were really excited. We had already talked about the world Cup earlier and she laughed and said he whole family were pretty unaware of the world Cup and hadn't watched a single game or followed the scores.

"oh fun! We'll join you!! That sounds great!"

And I was so caught off guard that I mumbled something about having to change the booking and she said, great!! See you then!!

Stupid stupid!!

1. I realise this is my own stupid fault.
2. I have now learned my lesson and will be careful about mentioning plans to get in future*
3. Can I now say they can't come to the football? I want to go with my kids. We're really looking forward to it. It's a treat for the three of us. How do I not have her and her husband there?

I should have said no immediately. It's much harder to go back on this. Ugh. So cross with myself.

I could say I can't change the booking. what if she checks?

• this is harder than you'd think. She once messaged me and invited me to something, and I said I couldn't because I was going to a gallery with a friend and she said, oh cool, I'll come to that then.

I may be the only one to feel this way, but I think this whole thing is a bit sad. You say she is a friend, and she clearly thinks of you as her friend. Why is it so terrible that she would like to watch the footie with you? It’s 2 hours max in a public setting…

Obviously, if you have decided that you do not want to be friends with her anymore you can be as blunt as you like to stop her from coming. If this is what you want, do that.

Just send it. You'll have a better time without her.

Just say you can’t change the booking, it’s already busy like everywhere else

Don’t say “wherever you decide to watch it” she’ll book the next table!

just say Hi Sarah, sorry but you caught me off guard and actually I want to watch the football just me and the kids this time. Will catch up soon

I also wondered why it would be such a bad thing to go watch it together, the more the merrier?

And I'm Anti social to the max but why not just have a good time altogether, she's your friend? You will probably have a good time if you let yourself! 🥰

Don’t lie about the pub being full or whatever, she might still turn up. Be honest about your reasons and if she still decides to show up you know she doesn’t respect your boundaries at all.

I don't think it's sad that I don't want her to come. She's not some poor waif trying to catch a crumb of friendship. She's a lovely, confident, sociable woman with a busy life.

Imagine you were going out with your mum to do a thing you both really enjoy, and then at the last minute, your mum's neighbours, Bev and Alan, invited themselves along. They're nice people, but you had really been looking forward to doing the thing with your mum. It changes the vibe.

Booking a table at a place is quite a treat for us. Money's tight, so this isn't one of a hundred outings this summer. The kids were surprised and excited when I told them. I want to keep it just us.

She's not even interested in football, she's just glomming onto the event. It'd be a no from me.

Say you can't change the booking, then NEVER mention plans again.

Too late for the football, but I would suggest she makes her own bookings. In this situation I would have left it to her and said not sure the pub will have tables left, you will need to call and see if there is room. I wouldn't have offered to amend my own booking to add her on.

Op just hold back giving her info. I made the mistake with a work girl. Had 7 miss calls at wends.. I keep a distance now since all this as they latch on

Respectfully, why are you such a wet lettuce? You are doing the classic people-pleaser thing of doing something you don’t want to do purely because you can’t deal with your own discomfort in saying no. You have a choice here. Do you want to sit through the match feeling uncomfortable because you’re resenting her presence, or do you want to feel uncomfortable because you’re saying no to her? Your choice.

She isn’t interested in football so will talk through the entire thing! Pull the plaster off and send that message!!