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Just venting..

4 replies

Warsawmermaid · 27/06/2026 12:25

I feel soo sad and just need to vent as I'm aware there are people that have it worse out there and I really shouldn't moan so much.

My kids performed terribly this school year ( I don't live in the UK so school year is over here ). My 8 year old who has a language disorder and most likely dyslexia struggled immensely with reading and writing is in danger of being asked to stay behind next year if he doesn't catch up..

My 12 year old is failing maths despite having a lot of additional help, he tested negative for dyscalculia and is currently been tested for ADHD. He performed just ok in other subjects, slightly below average in a few.
I feel like the teachers and some parents in the school are looking down on them because of that and judge us (my husband and I).
I'm aware that a lot of this is connected to my own pride/ego as my husband and I performed really well at school and currently both have quite highflying/intellectual jobs. I struggle to understand why they have such issues.

I know I should have done more when their issues were first signalled instead of burying my head in the sand and hoping for the best. They now have a lot of extra support, tutoring etc currently but it's simply not enough.
I'm sad I can't even be prouder of their strong /positives sides because of this.
Sad I'm so upset with them.
Overwhelmed because I don't think I can do enough to help them over the holidays. Overwhelmed by the prospect of spending even more money on extra classes that won't bring results fast enough.
I don't know how we can help them, go to work , run a household and still have time for exercise/hobbies.
I'm ashamed when other people talk of how smart their kids are...
I worry that they will always be judged through the prism of their academic capabilities and that people won't appreciate them for how funny, creative and kind they actually are.

Please don't roast me, just needed to vent a bit and I can't talk to any of my friends about this as they all seem to have gifted kids.

OP posts:
Joey1024 · 27/06/2026 12:43

Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid

Everyone has their own skillsets being academic is not the be all and end all. In my opinion it’s much more important to focus on raising well rounded, confident happy children

Buscobel · 27/06/2026 12:52

Having a condition doesn’t define a person and doesn’t mean that they can’t learn, but maybe not in the way the majority do. What are their strengths? Are they practical, artistic or sporty?

I hope they don’t realise that you are upset by their academic progress.

Warsawmermaid · 27/06/2026 12:53

@Joey1024thanks for reminding me of that quote. I need to remember that more often..

OP posts:
Warsawmermaid · 27/06/2026 12:59

@Buscobelthey both have a lot of soft -skill type strengths - creativy, good listeners, high emotional intelligence etc. Just not the type of things that win medals etc at school and I see it bothers them too.
I know my 12 Yr old can sense I'm upset because we've had several conversations about school performance in the past, but isn't aware of just how upset I am.

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