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Not sure which topic to put this under.

2 replies

allaboardthecrazytrain · 18/06/2026 20:23

My partners DD was recently diagnosed with autism and adhd, she’s 19. She’s away for uni and is managing fine.
Shes been home this week due to end of term and being staying with her dad.
I don’t live with my partner but we have been together for 4 years and I have spent a lot of time with his DD. I wouldn’t say we’re the best of friends but do get on most of the time.
Today the three of us spent the day together. When I got to her dads she wasn’t home, when she came home she literally walked straight past me, no acknowledgment, nothing! Her dad actually told her I was there! This isn’t the first time this has happened. When she was out of the room he said she hasn’t been taking her meds.
Anyway I did feel very uncomfortable but tried to push it away.
Went out for the day and it was a bit better till we got back to her dads and it was a case of she didn’t speak to me.
I had a cuppa and said I’d get myself away after that. Dp asked me what was wrong and I told him I felt a bit uncomfortable. He asked me why, I didn’t want an argument (and it would have been an argument if I said his DD behaviour towards me was making me uncomfortable)so I said it’s nothing, it’s just me and my anxiety (which I’ve been struggling with) that’s making me uncomfortable. Whilst I was having a cuppa they were talking about a satnav he’d left on her passenger seat in her car and said something about her brother fitting it, I said why don’t you do it for her now. His DD said it was for her mams car, all I said was aw right I thought it was for your car. I saw her and my partner look at each other, I didn’t catch his look but I did catch her smile at him, he did mutter something which I’m guessing wasn’t very nice towards me though.
I’ve come home and feel a bit hurt and annoyed, I was made to feel uncomfortable, I’ve had to blame my anxiety for it to keep the peace and he’s making me out to be in the wrong!
AIBU to feel this way

OP posts:
carrottopped · 19/06/2026 01:17

Yeah you're BU. Maybe she wanted some breathing room in her home.

begone25 · 19/06/2026 07:21

No, she was pretty rude ignoring you, but given her recent diagnosis I guess you could cut her some slack. I think your partner should have picked up on the situation and apologised. Will it turn into an argument if you tell him another time about why you left? If so I think that’s more of a problem than the daughter…

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