I've behaved very badly but...

[Stressedoldmom]

Quick background. Been dating for 14 months after being single for 12 years. Both late 40s. Get on really well. Don't live together. Have massive trust issues mostly due to childhood trauma and a lying cheating ex husband.
I snooped in a lockbox at bfs flat, it was unlocked. Mostly rubbish in there but at the there was also a small pair ( probably size 8ish) of heavily stained knickers that had obviously been kept for years. Not his ex wife's, she was size 18/20, together 15 years. I know it's absolutely nothing to do with me and long in his past, but it's made me feel sick and I can't understand why you'd keep that for all these years, I imagine his wife didn't know he had them.
I know I was very wrong to snoop and break his trust and privacy like that, am I over reacting to what I saw?

That's quite clearly disgusting so your question 'Am I overreacting?' is a disingenuous one.

As an aside...

Have massive trust issues mostly due to childhood trauma and a lying cheating ex husband.

This imo ^^ means you shouldn't be dating anyway.

Heavily stained in what?
I may have watched too many crime documentaries but my first thought was “has he raped someone and kept a trophy?” 😬
I don’t think someone just having an affair would keep that type of souvenir.
Unless he’s paid an OF woman to send them to him if he has a kink?

Also OP, did you get your age wrong?

Wondered this or short marriages very young?

A rape souvenir was exactly my thought too

When it comes to threads about stained knickers, I generally check out the posting history when I'm deciding to report or not.

The OP was 46 ten years ago.

And 50 in 2021

You haven't written how you reacted apart from feeling sick?

Do you want to keep dating a man who keeps knickers as a trophy? 🤢

Yes, I changed a few minor details so not obviously outing and yes, married very young.
To answer questions, I only found this today. He's at work. I don't see how i can bring it up without confessing to going through his belongings. Also, about whether I should be dating...I don't know, I was single a very long time. I've had a little therapy, but found it unhelpful and am on a Waiting list for more intensive work.
I would say that the fluid was either urine or squirt fluid, both massive kinks for him and not an issue for me. No blood or anything like that.
He's genuinely the sweetest man I've ever dated, very caring,very easy going, never seen any controlling behaviour, jealousy etc He's very open with his phone etc.

I posted here as there is no one in real life I could talk to. I.was shocked to find these and was genuine with my ' overeact' question.

I do find it rather ironic that someone with "massive trust issues" is snooping inside someone else's lockbox

Absolutely fucking hilarious 😂

I'm glad my mental issues have amused you. Thanks for your help.

If you have no issue with his kinks that probably caused the staining, why do you have a problem with his memorabilia?

Me too.