Was this abuse? Childhood

[Blossoms217]

a lot to type out here so I’ll try create a shorter version. As I’ve become a parent I’ve thought about my childhood a lot and I’m not sure if I should attend therapy.
i wouldn’t say it was my father that caused such bad memories, it was my mother.

no affection
never told i love you
comments about my body
ragged my hair around twice
told I needed to get a real job when I worked in a supermarket as a teen said very nastily
hissed at to get out of the mirror as a teen
compared to my sisters growing up
was apart of a dv assult and the first she said was it’s not that bad and not to post it online for anyone to see (why would I do that anyway) not comforting in the fact I was traumatised coming out of the hospital and never spoke to me about it again
constant shouting and arguing with the other parent and told it’s only because of myself and my sisters that caused all this
never asked about friends or school life
meeting a random male friend as a child and told not to tell our dad as they don’t approve of male friends

theres other bits but I don’t want to out myself here

thanks

Oh yes and cut my hair short as a child one out of four girls (sisters)

Yes abusive.

Definitely abusive. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Perhaps counselling might help you.

you sound like my sister

I grew up in a similar household ( also 4 girls )

It was abusive

I've been NC with my parents for years now.... the never being given any affection or told I was loved really did a number on me. On the flip side, me and My children say we love you / cuddle frequently which is nice, I never comment negatively on my children's bodies and in times that I am wrong, I will acknowledge it, apolgise and not make excuses.

I havnt attended therapy but I have mostly made my peace with it ( taken me years)

Not excusing it, but they both had difficult childhoods ( my mum especially ) she never got taught how to be loved or how to receive love, she grew up in care, had children very young with no support system, probably hated herself in some way because she kept choosing terrible husbands. Me and my DD have been diagnosed with autism and adhd and it's clear my mum is auhd too,

I do somtikes get sad and wish things were different, but it is what it is and I try everyday to make sure my kids grow up secure and loved

Thank you for your responses, it’s much appreciated. I think since saving children it’s highlighted it for me so so much as I can’t and don’t want to ever imagine acting that way.
I would never say anything nasty to my children, or make them feel small. unfortunately I’ve raised my voice a couple of times usually when my children have been fighting as I go into panic as I think it’s a trigger for me and I’m working on this.
Overall I would say I am a loving, caring and affectionate parent and care deeply about my children’s wellbeing not just meeting their basic needs. I try give them everything and more.

I’ve suspected as an adult she may be neurodivergent in some way, she can go from 0 to 100 and can become intensely obsessive over certain topics and that’s all she wants to talk about.
I hope that doesn’t sound offensive to anyone.

if I’m ever speaking about something she just directs it back to herself it’s exhausting.

I don't think it should matter what label you put on it, what matters is how you feel about it and see it now. She sounds like a horrible Mum and a mean spirited person who didn't know how to talk to children. Sadly this is more common than it should be but it's definitely not the normal experience.