To want to help my sister postpartum?

[TheSparklyLimeDog]

My sister is about to have a baby and I'd like to help. I have been a mother for a few years now so I understand it can be challenging. I was thinking of visiting every few weeks for the first few months and bringing over a healthy meal. I appreciated this when friends and family visited.

However....

I have no idea if my sister would be comfortable with my helping for several reasons:

• We were not that close as kids (she bullied me but I've forgiven her) but have had some good moments years ago.

• She barely texts me or shows interest in me, honestly I doubt she even likes me lol. In family settings she will only talk if necessary and seems to almost ignore me in family group chats.

• She was not interested in my pregnancy/postpartum, barely texted or asked how I was doing.

• She has given slightly stuck up comments about how I parent - she seems clueless about difficult it can be as a parent.

• She didn't tell me about her infertility journey.

Anyway - I'm thinking maybe I should help or should I just back off?

I would assume that if you ask her before the baby is born whether she wants any help from you after the birth she is very likely to say no. Because she won't realise how difficult she may find having a new born can sometimes be.

I think after the baby actually arrives it would be a very natural and kind thing to do to ask her then what, if anything, you can do to help her.

That’s probably your answer.

If she liked you, you would know.