To think this is unusual for a child this age?

[Sunshinegirl21]

My friends ds is 3 years old, he’ll be 4 in July. He starts school in September.

I go round to see my friend quite regularly but I haven’t been into the bedrooms. I was over there recently and she told me that her ds is starting to climb out of his cot now. So she is going to take the sides of and convert it to a toddler bed.

Aibu to think that it’s really odd and a bit dangerous for a nearly 4 year old to still be sleeping in a cot?

Obviously I don’t say anything.

My son was out by about 3, but I’ve never really thought to ask anyone else tbh.

My daughter is nearly 4 and still in a cotbed with the sides, she however is autistic and she doesn’t climb out surprisingly but it’s more of a safety thing

Neither do I.

Cots are cosy with their sides. I still remember mine.

I wish I had done this. Felt at the time they would look like a tiny person in this huge bed lol. So went with Junior bed.
But now needing a new one, and i can’t because in the middle of Sec 21. So had I just got one few years back, at least they would have got some longevity out of it.

My dd was in a toddler bed until nearly 5 but not with the sides.

If he’s only just started to climb out then up until now it hasn’t been dangerous, surely?
I have 3, all of whom were in a bed by 18 months because they climbed out of their cots. If they hadn’t I probably wouldn’t have been in a rush to move them though. If he’s been sleeping and there have been no issues then they probably thought ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’.
Also mine were all dry at night from 2.5 but have never got up to use the toilet in the night unless ill.

If he’s never before tried climbing out of his cot then I don’t think it’s odd she hadn’t yet changed it into a toddler bed, as long as he still fit inside. My daughter was almost 2.5 when we moved house and I took that opportunity to get her a bed. But if we hadn’t moved I probably would have kept her in the cot much longer as she never tried climbing out.

Though to be honest she wasn’t in there all that long most nights before waking up crying and ending up in my bed anyway!

DC2 was climbing out of the cot at 9 months!

Research has shown that children have improved sleep patterns when kept in a cot up to age three – unless there is a specific need to transition them. From three years old, the transition can take place whenever feels right for the family.

It’s unclear why you care?

dizzydizzydizzy · 10/05/2026 23:19
"DC2 was climbing out of the cot at 9 months!"

So was my daughter.

I have a similar friend @Sunshinegirl21 . Their child turning 4 in June, starts school in September. Still in a cot. Still has a 2 hour nap every day.

Totally different to how my family but that's ok. Each to their own. Mine went from cot to single bed at 2y11m and 15m respectively.

All kids are different but we had to take the sides of DT1s cot at 11 months as she flung herself over them and into her twin's cot one night. I was amazed to find them fast asleep together in the morning.

TBH, I find it odd because some parents don't seem to want children to grow up almost. There doesn't seem to be the urge to move them on to the next stage, so many comments are made along the lines of 'but they are so tiny'. Surely parenting means encouraging children to develop?

Does it say why this is the case?

A contained space counteracts impulse control of getting out of bed. Studies report better sleep quality and longer sleep duration. A contained space is thought to improve feelings of security and familiarity – young children often associate their cot sleeping space with safety, routine and comfort.

Oh. Wonder why it didn't work for my DD who was climbing out before her first birthday.

And myDGC is in toddler bed ( 14 months old) Now sleeps 7-7 most nights

Mine was in a cot until he was nearly 4. He was never a climber, he didn’t even try it once. It wasn’t a really deliberate decision to keep him in the cot, just one of those things that we didn’t really think about until I was pregnant and we needed the cot for the baby. He transitioned very easily into a bed. I never really thought about the oddness or otherwise of any of it!

I don’t think moving to a bed is a developmental milestone 😂

All scientific studies that indicate a recommendation will show results that indicate a significant majority – not an identical outcome for every individual child. That's how studies work and how research supported-recommendations work. Your children or grandchildren don't change that – the data is the data.

My 3y 3m girl is still in a cot. She likes it, she sleeps very well and she's never tried to climb out so I feel like why mess with what works.

More importantly it has been shown that extended cot sleeping supports development by regulating sleep quality and length. It's what research has shown – opinions on 'parents not wanting kids to grow up' is irrelevant.

My elder DS was in his cot till just after 3, when he had seen his friends' beds and said 'I think I am ready for a big boy bed now', so we converted it into a toddler bed. He could easily climb in and out from about 2, but he never did. He was also dry at night - and to be honest I don't think most little children wake up specifically for a wee, they might need one if they wake up, or else they're not ready to be dry yet and just wee in their sleep. Some time after the transition to the toddler bed I did point out that he could just... get up and go to the toilet if he needed to. He thought about it and said 'no, I think I will just shout Mama'. But in practice he never does need to get up for a wee. I'm quite jealous.

Anyway, one good reason for staying in a cot if they are willing is that if they are the same kind of idiot as my son, they sleep right at the edge and are quite likely to fall out. He is nearly 5 now and still needs a bed guard.

My DS only moved out of his cot at 3.5 when we took it apart. He never climbed out and wasn't happy but he was dry at night and I wanted him to be able to use the toilet in the night. He moved into his sisters cot, with her, so we packed her cot away too, which she was happy about. She was just over 2.

It's growing up. It's helping the child to do that.

I promise you, your child will grow up whether you move them from a cot to a bed at one, two, three or four. You can’t accelerate their growing up by moving them to a bed earlier, or delay their growing up by moving them to a bed later.

It does not harm a child in any way to stay in a cot so long as they’re not trying to climb out, they’re comfortable and have room, and they’re happy to be in there. It really isn’t something to pathologise.