Sexism and ageism in charity shop?

[BillieWiper]

Just wondering if others feel a bit off about this exchange in a charity shop.

An elderly woman using a wheeled walker donates an item in a charity shop. They want to do gift aid and she's already signed up for it. She uses this shop regularly.

The staff member was presumably commencing this process when she asked the woman's name.

Being slightly deaf, she didn't instantly answer the question. The staff member immediately followed up the question by saying 'Oh, your husband's name..'?

To me that is an assumption that an elderly woman wouldn't understand her own tax affairs or have control over her own finances, or would have all her business in her 'husband's name.

I believe this to be sexist, ageist and potentially homophobic. In the assumption that the person is definitely heterosexual.

It makes no difference really but the elderly woman is widowed and has managed perfectly well without a husband for 35 years. But she could just as easily be a lesbian.

But mainly that they would never ask anything about a husband if it was a younger woman. That's what bothers me.

The staff member was around 30, looked like the sort of person to be well aware of the importance of anti sexism, ageism, sexuality discrimination etc.

I'm sure it's not worthy of a complaint. I don't think? I do feel annoyed about it though hence posting here. And almost feel like that person needs to know not to do it again.

Just really seeing if others think this is a bit off or maybe I'm being a little oversensitive?

Thanks in advance wise women of MN.

The staff member was around 30, looked like the sort of person to be well aware of the importance of anti sexism, ageism, sexuality discrimination etc.

Can you describe what 'the sort' looks like please? 😂

I mean just to make your thread even funnier?

Young, kinda hippy-ish, lol. Idk. I just wouldn't expect a comment like that from a young person for some reason. Glad you think it's funny 😀

Are you sure they didn't say OR your husband's name?
Because often when one person in the household is not a tax payer, the other one is so the GA is in their name.

I was already having a giggle when you threw in 'homophobic' and that kinda floored me 🤣

But you do seem to be assuming (along with all your assumptions about the staff member), that the woman couldn't or didn't complain for herself?

Give over.

If i were you, OP, I'd complain to The People's Front of Judea

@SconehengeRevenge Completely wrong of course, the appropriate people to deal with this is The Judean people's front.

‘She’? How do you know the staff member uses ‘she’ pronouns, hmm? Transphobe.

Get someone to take a sad daily fail photo of you outside of the shop and go to the press.

Leave negative reviews for all shops in this chain all over google.

Post on local Facebook groups telling people to boycott.

No. The Judean People’s Front.

Actually OP I think you’re getting a bit of a hard time but I speak as someone who’s getting old myself. I do think the young woman was a bit insensitive and I know that you’re not thinking of complaining to the charity shop, or at least that’s how I understand your post.

People say these things without thinking but to ask about her husband’s name was a bit ridiculous. I understood you to mean that someone of about 30 would be expected to be more aware of different sexualities and to be alert to respecting the person rather than assuming marital status..

Can you fit any more inflammatory ideological phrases into one story or are you an amateur?

surely she just thought the household gift aid might be in his name

They're probably consulting ChatGPT as we type 😁

both wrong.. it’s the Judean Popular People's Front, actually…

But no…

https://rachel.blog/2018/09/27/the-peoples-front-of-judea/

I stand corrected

Gah

How terribly ageist of you.

Splitters...

The staff member was around 30, looked like the sort of person to be well aware of the importance of anti sexism, ageism, sexuality discrimination etc.

Looked like the 'sort of person' - I mean there is inherent irony in this. If she was treated politely and decently I would think it's a stretch to start to call out "Or your husband" as a potential hate crime... sheesh. A clumsy approach possibly. Grounds for a complaint? Not unless you have completely lost touch with reality.

It cant have been British Heart Foundation then. They ask how you identify and what your pronouns are.

Oh she could. It was my mum.

So why are you getting involved and asking if it's 'worthy of complaint'? 🤷‍♂️

Why not? I just wanted to see what people on here thought. That's what MN is for isn't it?

It sounds to me like the young hippy used undue violence and was abusing her position. Did you video it?