Wondering if vaginal tear is normal at 17yo..? (PossibleTW)

[Chronicoverthinker33]

I’m looking for opinions on a health issue I had treated when I was 17 that I have been thinking a lot about lately (I am 33 now). It’s a bit delicate and contains possible link to sexual assault so I have put a trigger warning. I have always thought this was all fine and just part of my story but since having a young baby I was questioned quite a bit in hospital/with midwives about it and it made me wonder if this is normal or not.

So, when I was 17 I was in a lovely and respectful long term sexual relationship with my first proper boyfriend who was the first person I’d had sex with. As far as I recall he was never rough or anything untoward happened. I gradually became aware that sex was hurting and stinging and went to see a gynaecologist, my mum supported me through this. It transpired I had a vaginal tear at the back, I now realise it was the same place where you might have stitches when having a baby. I believe it was small but significant enough that I required a small surgery under GA to repair it. After that it was all ok. I thought nothing of it. I don’t really remember the gynae asking me many questions about how I got it.

My question is is this a normal thing to get when you are 17 and sexually active? My midwife when I gave birth to DS2 was a bit confused and asked me several times what caused the tear and why I needed surgery?! It made me wonder because I always assumed it just developed maybe when I lost my virginity but I’m just wondering if that’s common?

The only thing I can think of that was out of the ordinary for me was my first (not proper- short term) boyfriend when I was 15, we never had full sex as I was underage (he was 16) but he used to insert his fingers and be extremely rough with it. I do remember having blood afterwards a few times and it hurt. I’m wondering if it could be connected.

Has anyone heard of this? It’s just playing on my mind now I’m older.

Anyone?

No I wouldn't consider that normal. It's not usual for women to need surgery to repair their vagina after sex. Obviously none of us can know, to what extent the tear was. It could have been that it needed surgery because it was very minor but had become enflamed/infected and it was better to clean up the edges and stitch it properly.

The midwives will have been confused because it will look like you've already had a baby. Or that you've been sexually assaulted. Both of which affects how they do their job and could mean something was missing off their files.

You can request your medical records to see what was said and done at the time. At the end of the day the doctor could have thought you'd been sexually assaulted but they can't interrogate you over it if you say you haven't.

Micro tears yes but not tears that are bad enough for surgery. Sounds like rough sex/sexual assault. I tore during childbirth and needed stitches but not surgery.

Not necessarily normal but not necessary to have been due to an SA. Could have been a small tear that was exacerbated and/or became infected due to not being treated.

Surely a tear, which is a wound, would heal in a very short time in a young woman? Especially in the vagina which is designed to be self cleaning. I can’t see why it would need surgical intervention unless profusely bleeding.

Maybe request your medical records from the hospital to see if you get a bit more insight

I'm not going into it on MN but I was born with a condition that causes a tear in the place you describe virtually every time I have sex. Normal, respectful healthy sex.

I had surgery (modified Fenton's procedure) to resolve it but mine wasnt particularly successful - it sounds like perhaps yours was a similar case resolved by the surgery if this hasn't bothered you since?

It sounds like you have answered your own question. The first boyfriend was very rough with his fingers and caused some damage, you remember bleeding a few times. Whilst most minor vaginal abrasions will heal, some might be of a depth/nature/position that causes them to reopen under even fairly mild friction (a bit like an anal fissure perhaps? I had one of these and it did heal by itself eventually but took several years and it definitely wasn't caused by rape/sexual assault.)

What is really troubling you annoy about this? That the midwife thought you were in denial about sexual assault?