Elderly relative joint replacement.

[Danascully2]

An elderly relative is due to have a joint replaced soon (NHS) and has apparently been told she will only be in hospital one night and will have no support or equipment supplied for recovering afterwards as it's a planned op. Does that sound right?? She lives alone with bedroom upstairs and has other challenges as well eg very arthritic wrists so would really struggle to use crutches I think. She's also anxious and easily flustered. I'm really worried about how she's going to manage eg how she would get from bed/chair to kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. Will they really just dump her at home after one night with no conversation about how she's going to manage?? Any advice very welcome.... I am not local, she has one local relative who works full time.

All of this sounds very frustrating but not too dissimilar to situations we’ve had crop up over the years. At some point you do have to accept that they have cognition and as such, are allowed to make their own decisions, even if those decisions are really poor ones

There is no way she will be able to cope alone at home after a hip or knee replacement! I had a knee op last year and my daughter came to stay for four days afterwards. The plan was I would cope by myself after that - ha best laid plans! I was in extreme pain and could barely hobble to the loo. In the end I went back home with her for another two and a half weeks.

She will definitely need support when she gets home. She’ll be on both crutches for at least 2 weeks post op. She should have an assessment and they would prefer for someone to live with her for 2 weeks or go into respite care.
Good luck to her, I’ve had both hips replaced at ages of 49 and 51. Luckily DH and dd were there to support me

Thank you very much, I hope your new hips are working well for you.
I'm really not convinced she will be able to manage crutches because her wrists are very arthritic. Hopefully an assessment will happen, she was given the date at quite short notice so maybe it just hasn't happened yet.
I'm pretty sure she would be willing to go into a rehab/respite care home temporarily for a week or two if that is an option but she seems to think she's been told she won't get any care afterwards.

I think it might be worth speaking to the Discharge Clerk on the day and making it clear that she lives alone and that you live 2 hours away and asking who’s care they are discharging her into.

im 55 fit and healthy had a full hip replacement last Feb and stayed one night but that was only because I didn’t get back from theatre til half 5 and was still numb from the waist down . The physio team had me up and down stairs in and out of bed etc the following morning and I was home at 4pm . My husband had a week off with me as getting up and down was hard work and because you’re on two crutches you can’t carry a thing . The British Red Cross brought me toilet raiser seats and a perching stool which I used for 6 weeks so they should be helping your relative with similar . I had a grabber to pick things up and to put my knickers on 😂😂 and I’m still using that grabber now a year in for certain things . We bought a long bath mat so showering was safe altho I couldn’t shower until the staples were out two week after surgery . She’s definitely going to need help for the first few weeks at her age I’d say .

Thank you very much for sharing your experience. She was told she wouldn't be provided with any equipment at all as it was planned (rather than after a fall) so has bought her own frame to go round the toilet. I bought her a litter picker/grabber. I agree I can't see how she is going to manage by herself for the first few weeks. We now have to try to come up with a plan around that, there have been some helpful suggestions on here about that. Thank you everyone.

My op was planned for 9 months prior but the Red Cross called me and offered all sorts the hospital should sort that for you I literally didn’t do a thing they rang me . I was super cocky thinking yeh yeh yeh im relatively young this will be fine it wasnt . The first week I felt like I’d been hit by a bus and depending on what surgery she’s getting there may be restrictions ie I wasn’t allowed to bend for 6 weeks . Honestly hip replacement if that’s what she’s getting is classed as major surgery I didn’t know that I had a shoulder tote bag with all my bits n bobs in cos you literally can’t carry a thing my hubby would leave me a flask of coffee and snacks the first week I was alone . You can always ring the Red Cross if they don’t contact you they’re fabulous . If surgical stockings are needed afterwards they are hell to get in and off she’ll need help for sure , Google the bag trick for removing and putting on surgical stockings it’s invaluable and makes life easier for the carer. We also raised our sofa legs so it made getting up and down easier and we’ve left them on as getting the hoover underneath is a doddle now .

What is she having replaced? When my mum had a hip operation (not a replacement) at 90+ then she went completely doolally afterwards - the staff were convinced she had dementia as of course they'd only seen her like that. It lasted for several weeks - she would chat normally and then talk about absolutely ridiculous, paranoid scenarios which she was convinced were true. There was no way she could go home because she couldn't walk, but also because of the way she was thinking. When I looked it up online I saw that was really common with hip operations in old ladies in particular.

Provided she has a private external entrance then one “no regrets” step here is to get a good quality key safe installed outside now. If she skips out of hospital needing no help it doesn’t need using but invaluable if you need care staff etc coming in when she can’t easily make it to the door.