Feeling lonely at home and wondering how others cope

[Fulloflemonstoday]

I’m lonely, I work part time due to burnt out last year, I’m home all day while the kids are at school, husband works late, works 6 days a week most weeks, then adds overtime on doing some work on the side - which I’m not complaining because he works really hard to make up the income I don’t bring home anymore.

but I’m so lonely at home, I spoke to DH about getting a dog and he just doesn’t want one at all. I sort of get it, he says their a tie.. which I completely agree is true.. but we don’t go on abroad holidays anyway, because DH hates flying.. UK holidays are usually lodges that have dog friendly options. I grew up with dogs in the house all my life and although when we first moved out together we both works full time and didn’t have time for a dog so it wouldn’t have been suitable. I feel like we have time for one now.

anyway, that’s besides the point. I’m just lonely and I don’t know what to do about it. DH just says go out.. but I live in the middle of nowhere, so I can go on walks and go for coffee but I’m still lonely doing it 🤣

had anyone else managed to combat this feeling? How do I become unlonely. I’m not the most social butterfly and my social battery dies very fast. What do I do?!

How about getting a hobby? There are loads of walking clubs thesedays or even something online if you struggle in social situations. Or you could do some volunteering. When I used to have a bit more free time in the evenings i volunteered for a local food bank, I made the phone calls in the evenings to get the shopping lists together, and used to chat to the people needing support.

Do you have a chatty cafe near you? Your husband sounds so bossy!!!

Could you offer to walk someone else's dog?
Or tell your DH that you are getting a dog, whether he wants one or not, because you are the one who will be looking after it. What does he do now that he thinks he won't be able to do after getting a dog?

Get a dog say looking after for a short time, he will fall in love ❤️ Try out a pt job/volunteer at local dog shelter, getting out of the house and feeling valued will make a huge difference to how you're feeling. You have lots of time so using it productively gives a sense of achievement.

Take up a sport like tennis, badminton, squash or Padel? Loads of people play daytime.

He sounds like he’s really limiting your life. Is this the way you want to keep living?

Have a look at borrow my doggy or cinnamon trust. Ways to borrow dogs.

How many days a week do you work? What age are your kids and what time do they finish school?

I work 3 days a week and have 2 primary school aged kids and I have to say I’d love to have enough free time to feel lonely! On my non working days I’m usually running around doing errands, food shop, laundry, meal prep to get ahead for the week. I do try to do one gym class a week and want to get back into running a couple of times a week.

Kids have activities a few nights a week so am taxiing them around. By the time dinner is finished, dishes washed up, kids in bed and everything left out ready for the next day, then I find I usually only have time to sit down for a short time before bed. I’ve just sat down tonight around 10pm and going to chill out for half an hour before getting showered and ready for work tomorrow.

I also sometimes pick up an extra shift at work which wipes out one of my non-working days.

Maybe your kids are older than mine, but I’d love to feel like I had more free time! I’d definitely do more classes at the gym, get properly back into running, start one of the free Open University courses I’ve been looking at doing but never can find the time, and just generally be more organised with food shopping/meal prep etc. Oh and also finish lots of house projects and decluttering!

Is you not working a permanent thing that you’ve both agreed? If not then I can see why he doesn’t want a dog. It’s another expense and commitment as well as another blocker for you working again in the next 15 years.

I’d suggest free meet ups locally or volunteering locally to ease the loneliness. Are there charity shops nearby you could volunteer for? Often a half day every week if the min requirement or more if you can/want to.

also to add, dogs are incredibly expensive these days - eye wateringly so! If he is working extra to make you come a dog may not be the right thing for your family but agree woth others about borrow my doggy/ volunteering for a dog org.

i hope you can find something that works for you

This might sound like a stupid question, but it comes from someone who genuinely struggles to understand..... what is it about being in the house by yourself that you don't like? How will getting a dog help?
Your set up sounds perfect to me, so I'm genuinely interested in why you find it so difficult.

Don’t get a dog. Your DH has clearly said he doesn’t want one, and as he is working extra to make up the shortfall, going against his wishes would be a recipe for resentment to set in.

So the husband who is the main one bringing any income is bossy and limiting ops life for not paying for flights for holidays abroad when they are a single income household?

Many dog charities, big and small, are screaming out for volunteer walkers. There is also the Cinnamon Trust who help foster dogs whose owners are in hospital. Or how about fostering dogs for women/children who are fleeing domestic violence and need a temporary home for their dog until they can find a permanent home for themselves? Most refuges or hostels won't allow pets.

Otherwise look at what your local councils offer at their community hubs, eg knit and natter or chatty cafes, or needing volunteers at a food bank. Good luck finding your "place"

Try borrowmydoggy.com and just have a dog occasionally