How do I find an overnight babysitter?

[birthdayfood]

I’ve been shortlisted for an industry award in a few weeks time, with the award ceremony on the other side of the country. This will likely be really beneficial for my career & I’m desperate for a new job, plus my boss has spent ££ on the tickets so I really do need to go.

But we live very far from any family & friends, and (tween) DD is ND and really doesn’t want to stay at any of her friends houses (for valid reasons tbh - lots of friendship dramas going on atm!).

She’s v high functioning & independent, and is totally fine with me going as long as she stay in her own house with her own routine.

There’s only one overnight babysitter in the area listed on childcare.co.uk, who hasn’t responded to my message.

Does anyone have any other ideas? Feels a bit weird posting on FB, though obviously I’ll ask for a DBS/ references. We also have lovely next door neighbours who she could always go to if there was any trouble, but she wouldn’t want to stay with them unless it was an Emergency & I wouldn’t ask as they’re v elderly.

I am sure she knows that. But it would be beneficial to go in person.

Yes but worst case and she can’t

It’s a big night for you! Are you sure a family member wouldn’t come over for the day and night? I know on here everyone who asks a favour is a CF! But if a family member or good friend asked me I’d make the trip for them. Don’t be afraid to ask - they can always say no. Congrats on your nomination and hope you win!

What part of the country are you in?

There is bubble - an app for babysitters which I think are verified.

Would any of your family members come up for the weekend?

Is there no way you could take her with you and drop her off with family?

I’m assuming dad or his family aren’t involved at all.

Can you ask a gransparent(s) to come and stay ? Or ask a friends parent yes j know there is "drama " but i think that could blow over.

Oh bums. Right, so word of mouth is always better than random online recommendations, even from verified organisations. Are there other school mums that you can chat to about who they use? Even if it's just a regular babysitter rather than a usual overnighter? If the price is right you are likely to be able to find someone who would extend their hours and responsibilities for the sake of a night.

Could she stay with her dad?

Would any of her friends mums come & stay at yours? (one of them must have a DH able to hold the fort at home!) Then the friend can come too if both girls want that at the time?

Childcare.co.uk isn't a patch on what
it used to be, keep posting, provide some details & cross your fingers.

nextdoor is very active in my area, you could look at that.

Can she have a sleep over with a friend? Seems the most logical option

This was answered in the OP

This is a tween

it’s not for a few weeks. Drama
probably over by tomorrow lunchtime

A TA might be a good option as a one off, might have to ask permission from school.

Would the family down south not be willing/able to travel to stay for the night with her? What if you offered to pay for their travel + take them out for a meal to say thanks when you get back?

Failing that any younger TAs or students at the school without their own kids that do babysitting? I don’t know if this is typical of other schools or if we’re just lucky but DC’s school has a babysitting list they send round which is mostly made up of the gap year students but also a few of the TAS and nursery class teachers are on there.

Or do you have any teens on your street? They could ‘babysit’ overnight and you’ll know if there was a real issue/emergency they’d contact their very local parents. When I babysat (a long time ago) I once phoned
my mum to come and help because the electricity went off! She was a few doors away.

If it is as important for you to go as you say, wouldn’t one of your family come down to stay? Even if they are the other end of the country, you could cover the cost of their flight maybe (would probably be cheaper than an overnight babysitter!)

It was still answered in the OP. The kid is also neurodiverse and is happy with her mum going if she can stay in her own house. It’s clear OP has considered the staying at a friends idea already

I’d post it as a job on childcare, there may well be people who would do it as a one off with Sufficent pay. I got a nanny to help me with overnights with my two when my youngest was a newborn and my partner was away, she wasn’t advertising nights but was happy to do so for her hourly rate and her own room to sleep in obviously

Would no one from your family come up for the night?

Also could look further afield on childcare as someone might be willing to travel much further for a 12hr shift

Nanny agency. Facebook page for nanny jobs if such exists for your area

Sorry yes lone parent, no contact with dad for safeguarding reasons. Too far for anyone to come up, it’s a weekday, a good 7 hours away & they all work too. Can’t fly annoyingly so it is a 14 hour round trip (maybe 12 on a good day). Will have a look at nanny agencies, that’s a good idea. The friendship dramas being a distant memory in a few weeks is a tricky one - they may fall out on the day & then it would be extra horrible for her! As I say she’s ND and things that are a bit rubbish but just one of those things for other kids would be absolutely unbearable for her, she won’t sleep & I’d just hate to send her somewhere overnight that she didn’t want to be.

Plus the only one she’s ever stayed at before , the parent smokes in the house (didn’t know that previously) and she just really doesn’t want to stay there, would be much happier at home. Trying to do whatever I can to facilitate that. If not then I won’t go. Orrr as a last resort I could see if I can tempt her with a long weekend in London if she’ll miss the Friday treat with the school. Would still be tricky time wise but maybe I could collect her as soon as SATS are over on Thursday. She’d be gutted deep down though I think even if she says ok to be kind to me, so don’t love that idea - really hoping I can find a babysitter, seems like such easy money to me, she’s really no trouble & just does her own thing.

appreciate some people would never use a paid babysitter - fair enough, I never have either, I dont have nights out & I would definitely want to meet them before & see a DBS etc. but realistically she’s 11, she has a phone, she could run to my neighbours & they’d always help her. Not the ideal scenario but not negligent I don’t think.

and yes it’s a small industry , I work for a small company & the only companies who ever usually get shortlisted are the big ones who actually offer career progression & I’m actively trying to get a job at, so it would be pretty misguided not to do everything I can to try and be there if possible.

I missing the networking opportunities/ visibility side of wanting a new job!!

Any friends with older teens who could stay overnight with her?

In this case I would give her the choice - you either go to a friend and go to the Friday school thing or she comes with you, misses it but gets a night in a hotel with room service and a fun day the next day with you. Sometimes life is tough (although neither of those choices are particularly tough, just not 100% as she would have it). You are single parent and as such sometimes kids have to fit in. Will you really relax with an adult in the house who you don’t know (aside from a pre meeting) if you can even find one which sounds unlikely.

I would be uncomfortable leaving a nd child with a stranger. Really the choices for me would be to ask a friend/family member (could make a weekend of it when they live further away), or daughter agrees to a sleepover or comes with you. If she really.wants to go to the friday school treat I'm sure the dramas will be over quicker...