How to handle parents objecting to a drop and go home party

[Parties1010]

Name change in case its outing.

Would appreciate some advice on this please.

We are having a little birthday party at home for my 6 year old son in a couple of weeks time. As we have limited space, we've invited 6 of his closest school friends. I speak to the parents daily, we're all friendly with each other and we all live in walking distance. I'm a very responsible person and work with children.

I've been clear on the invitation that it is 'drop and go' due to limited space. The birthday party is only for a couple of hours. I'll have activities in the garden and house so there will be plenty for the children to do. My son has been really excited about it.

Parents all seemed to be OK with this and RSVPd. However, as the party is getting closer, I've heard on the grapevine that a few parents have a problem with not being invited in, there's been a few moans at pick up and one parent has said they have nothing to do on this day and wanted to attend and bring a younger sibling along. I've even had one parent question my son when I've been out of earshot about why the party is drop and go.

How would you deal with this situation? If I invited one parent in, I feel like they are all going to want to attend and we simply don't have the space.

I am friendly with all the parents. We've had playdates and my child has been round a few of their houses without me being present. They were all OK with this and if the situation was switched and they were having a drop and go party, I'd be fine with leaving my child for a couple of hours as we know each other and I'm in walking distance if any problems occur.

This is our first home party so I'm at a bit of a loss with how to deal with it. Would appreciate some helpful advice. Thank you!

In my opinion they’re still quite young.
so I understand why parents may want to be there.

However that would be my rationale

So odd. I couldn’t wait to drop my kid and get a few hours to myself!!

stick to your plan

Have any of the DC been to your house before without their parents staying?

Thank you for replying. Yes, most of them have.

Many 5 year old won’t be comfortable going to a party with at an umfamiliar place with unfamiliar adults.

I think you have two options.

1. let them moan, ignore, carry on with your plan and resolve to be firm about parents leaving when they drop off.

2. send out a message that says “if anyone is worried about how their child will react to being dropped off, please message me separately”. It’s possible some parents know their child is likely to be very nervous (or worse badly behaved!) and so may feel they need to stay to settle them in at least.

But if it’s more “oh I hoped you’d entertain parents and siblings too” then nope.

Then they should politely decline the invitation.
Not push their way in and try to change what you have laid on in your house for your son.

I'd have been worried about DD's behaviour without me at that age! She was very hyper and full on.

I totally get your reasons for not wanting parents there, but the kids are still quite young.

Stick to your plan then. All the parents and one or two siblings is a lot of extra people.

I would ignore it if you've only heard through the grapevine and nobody has approached you. Take what you hear through the grapevine with a pinch of salt as well

The moaning bitching parents are wanting their other - UNINVITED - child/children to have something to do and another parent to do it entertain them!

It will be fine, and certainly don’t let siblings attend, stick to your plan. This wasn’t the case 30 years ago, you dropped kids off even aged 4

I think they are a bit young for drop
and go - for some at least.

I also think you should ignore school gate gossip completely. Any parent who had concerns should have discussed them with you directly or declined the invite.

Just continue with your plans.

Ah sorry just saw this. Unlikely to be worries on parents’ part then. More fishing for an invite! Ignore.

Have any of them said anything directly to you or is it all on the grapevine?

If not, I'd just ignore it (and the one wanting to use your house as a free activity centre for a sibling is a compete CF!)

If they have, I'd just reiterate there's no space, and let them decide whether it's a deal breaker.

Fwiw I'm a parent that wouldn't have wanted to leave DD at that age, so I'd have not accepted the invitation, not tried to get you to change your mind!

Same

And if you made it clear on the invitations, then I don’t understand why parents are now querying it

I definitely dropped Mini blondes off to parties at six

some of the parents stay around but I would yay two hours to myself

frankly I don’t want to spend two hours of the weekend sitting talking to the parents that I see every day at school pick up

Saying 'I have nothing to do that day and would like some easy entertainment for me and my younger DC' is very different from 'my child is nervous staying without me'. Just stick to what you have said and be breezy about it, 'we just wouldn't all fit in!', 'yes it would be lovely to have a family playdate sometime and have a catch-up, no chance of that during the party!'

Edited to add: I normally stay at parties for DS(7) as I'm friendly with some of the parents, but always happy to head off when best for the party, especially if it's at someone's house which feels safer e.g. than somewhere like bowling where it is harder to keep an eye on everyone.

This is madness. 5 and 6 year olds go to school on their own, they can go to a party at their friends house on their own. Just ignore it and when they arrive greet at the door, just say "Hi Johnny, you can go straight in" followed by " So, we'll see you at 2pm then" to the parent.

Rethink the party? Tell the parents you completely understand they want to stay but there is no room, and deffo no room for siblings. So if they aren't happy with that, you'll take that as their child isn't coming. Then invite one who is ok with drop and go.

Very good point.

Have they actually asked you directly?

X post with you saying most of them have been for play dates without parents.

They're being completely unreasonable in that case.

Do NOT give in! Stick to your plans! All mine went to parties at 6. Couldn't think of anything worse than having to sit there making small talk.

its funny how things are so different these days. In the 80s all parties were drop and go parties from school age. I don’t recall my parents ever staying. We did some party games and had some food and an hour or 2 later our parents came to collect. I wouldn’t have any issue when they were 6 leaving my child with their close friends. Parent would always call if child upset. What are they thinking is going to happen at your house?

Tell them it's an 80s themed party! No parent would have hung around at a 6 year old's birthday party back in the day.