Is husband narcissistic

[cakedelights]

Hi can anyone help me with something?

I have a husband who I can't work out it he's narcissistic. Basically we lived separately for a long time now due to his erratic behaviour, addictions & cheating. One min he's sorry about his mistakes and behaviour then the next he's not happy because I refused to live with him because he's unreliable financially. He was recently evicted from his flat he lived in for 2 years because he didn't pay his rent on time & missed payments. He kept it a secret from me & lies about things. Now recently he's in Turkey for work & I thought he was changing because he became attentive & for my daughters sake, I thought to try & work things out. This is because he was amazing at supporting our daughter through a eating disorder.

Now whilst he's been in Turkey, he's applied for a visa which I found out he declared he's single on the form. Yet to my face he's all lovey dovey. I even asked him if they know he's married he said yes of course. Then tonight he became abrupt with me during a conversation about where is our situation heading? Do he want to shack up in Turkey for good depending on visa. He said to me where we live on northeast is a shit hole ! And the people are shit. I told him I do not like it mentality, ur life is what u make it wherever u go. He said everything that's happened is my fault & he has no proper home. I highlighted that I am not responsible for him losing his flat. He said he don't want to come back here so I said okay no problem good luck.

I felt totally confused, he's very difficult person to reason with. He blames me and others for things that go wrong due to his actions. I've decided to just walk away now because I no longer trust him. It was only recently I found out the year after he had affair which cost him everything he was texting another women to meet up. The texts where inappropriate like him telling he misses her. So basically there more to it.

I believe I have serious attachment issues because I should of walked away long time ago. But he is a shady and clever person, he knows how to make me vulnerable and have the upper hand.

[JosephFrancis]

He doesn't sound like a narcissist in the pathological sense. All humans have a bit of narcissism, ranging from healthy to pure bastard before it tips over into the clinical diagnosis range. He sounds like an immature, selfish, pure bastard who will happily flip the situation to make him benefit even if he's displayed dreadful behaviours. Basically, if he's like this he is a spoilt brat who thinks he's God's gift and can't possibly be resisted in anything. Look up DARVO. That's what seems to be happening here.

Yep, let him go. And then get some counselling for yourself.

[cakedelights]

Thank you so much for your reply.

It is a confusing situation to consider if there is narcissistic behaviour going on. I have never heard of what your suggesting to look up but i certainly will look it up. Your 100% right about the selfish part. I no longer have contact now, I told him I need space. I said this to allow myself time to process everything everything and start divorce procedure. It's hard really hard because I suffer with anxiety and depression probably thanks to the problems he's caused me. Thank you so much for reply and for your help.

[Bec9493]

Need advice! Partner of 14 years constantly tells me the childcare and children as a whole is my problem I had the children (4 in total with him) it’s not his issue to sort out he’s the dad he can leave when he wants. Then says he will help me looking after his youngest daughter on his days of but expects things in return and constantly says remember what I’m doing for you, you owe me this and this and if we have an argument he will say remember what I’m doing for you. I feel this is so nasty towards me and makes me want to leave him. Is this narcissistic behaviour

[Bec9493]

@Bec9493

Need advice! Partner of 14 years constantly tells me the childcare and children as a whole is my problem I had the children (4 in total with him) it’s not his issue to sort out he’s the dad he can leave when he wants. Then says he will help me looking after his youngest daughter on his days of but expects things in return and constantly says remember what I’m doing for you, you owe me this and this and if we have an argument he will say remember what I’m doing for you. I feel this is so nasty towards me and makes me want to leave him. Is this narcissistic behaviour

Posted on wrong part sorry was meant to start new thread.

[RemoteControlDoobry]

Sounds like he’s one of these.