Dreaming about someone

[Happythoughts123]

I broke up with an ex boyfriend 14 years ago. We got on really well but I was very insecure and had suspicions of him cheating so called it off as the trust wasn’t there. He was upset and we haven’t really seen or spoken to each other since.

I am now happily married with a baby with a husband I trust and love.

For the last 14 years though I have dreamed about this ex consistently. He always shows up in my dreams not always as a main character sometimes in the background and rarely sexual ….he is just there! In my subconscious.

How can I resolve this? Or am I doomed to dream of him forever? Does this mean he dreams of me too? Does it mean anything at all?

I think probably my mind is still trying to work out what happened as we ended on terms that were a bit sad, I supposed it wants closure.

In my waking life I rarely think of him. Although i do wish we had been able to be amicable or friends.

Anyone have anything similar? Any insights?

[thelegohooverer]

What does he do/say/represent in your dreams?

I find it useful, when puzzling over dreams, to remember that everyone and everything in a dream represents me in some way. Eg monsters might be strong emotions that scare me in myself, or a crash might be a sense that I’m feeling out of control…

Do you have any reaction to him in your dreams? Or an awareness that you’re dreaming during the dreams?

I’ve had recurring dreams about someone for over 17 years but eventually the dream changed as I grew past the problem he represented. I even knew the last time I had the dream that it was the last.

[ArblemarzipanTFruitcake]

I agree with PP - he may represent a particular emotion or conflict which your subconscious processes by using his image in your dreams.

Try noting down, whenever you have this dream, what was on your mind the day before. You might find a pattern.

[Happythoughts01]

@thelegohooverer @ArblemarzipanTFruitcake

Yes this is an interesting perspective. Perhaps I’m looking into it too much and assigning emotion to something that is my own conflict.

So in the dreams they are quite random. A lot of the time I’m trying to get him to notice me or trying to get his attention.
I would say I always have an awareness that I’m dreaming when I’m dreaming of him. I wouldn’t say I have a reaction to him as such but always pleased to see him and like I said earlier trying to get him to notice me.

I wonder if it’s linked to the insecurity I felt when I was with him. Perhaps if I’m able to move past that I’ll stop dreaming of him.

I have always wanted to apologise to him as well, for leaving so abruptly, so perhaps my subconscious is searching for him to make my apology. Perhaps I need to forgive myself.

Thanks for your perspectives xx