Recurring dream

2 replies

wondering24 · 28/10/2021 22:04

I have quite vivid dreams and always have. The thing that perplexes me is that an ex boyfriend is ALWAYS in them. He is very rarely a main 'character' and we don't always speak or interact at all in the dream. Nothing sexual ever happens.

We had an on and off thing for about 3 years from aged 18-21. It all ended amicably and I have absolutely no romantic feelings towards him at all, nor would I get back with him if the opportunity arose. That ship has truly sailed and things ended with closure. I've been with DH since I was 22 (together 13.5years and married 7.5) and ex was even at our wedding.

We rarely see each other in person and aren't on each other's social media. We would stop and say hello in the street, but not really in contact at all.

Soy question is, why the bloody hell is he always in my dreams?!? Anyone have any idea? I'd quite like him to bugger off out of my brain- especially as I don't know why he's there! 🤣

OP posts:

DriftingPlateTectonic · 29/10/2021 23:46

He's a metaphor for a different part of your life, your past, how you saw yourself when you were with him.

baroqueandblue · 30/10/2021 17:13

@wondering24 My take is that he represents that period of your life and who you were then and for some reason that's still relevant now. Your unconscious 18-21 year old self has unfinished business which is still affecting you. Were there any big decisions you made (or even didn't make) back then that you're uncertain about now? Did you stop living your life or being yourself in some way, because it could well be some 'unlived' part of you that's trying to be heard. What, in yourself, is 'on and off' now? Is the sexual aspect of your marriage still happening, fulfilling? Perhaps another kind of imbalance or inconsistency in your life. Is there a part of yourself that belongs more to that period of time that you need to let go of in order to stop it affecting your life now?

Those are the questions/lines I'd be thinking along. You describe him as mostly not a main character with little interaction, and that could suggest a part of you that is underdeveloped and for that reason is affecting things now.

Flip