This dream really freaked me out. I literally just woke up sweating and out of breath like I'd been running. But I have no one I can speak to about it and nowhere to get it off my chest and some sort of guidance.
Trigger warning because its crazy to imagine and u may not want to read further...
So basically it's not even a real life situation and is totally not possible that it has happened or would ever happen which freaks me out even more in a weird way.
I am so embarrassed to even say it but I need to get it off my chest and no idea how. Here goes...
Some how I walk in on my dad "pausing a "dirty" video (I knocked and announced I was coming in). Before I walk in my 12 year old stands outside the door and says u don't wanna go in there mum... then when I realise what I interrupted looking at him facing away from me quilt over his lap and a dodgy picture paused on TV and remote in his hand on top of duvet. I kinda back out of the room close the door and then I go to go downstairs when my head wonder's why my 12 year old daughter knew and why she was outside so I go back upstairs and this time I don't knock and I walk in to see my dad "doing the deed" with my 16 year old daughter I immediately start punching him and telling him I'm calling the police.
everyone starts shouting at me to not call the police that I will be breaking something "good" and I'm screaming and crying saying how wrong it is and I manage to get my eldest and 12 year old out of the bedroom and start calling the police whilst everyone is beating me up screaming trying to stop me so when the police answer I shout out what has happened and then everyone stops hurting me falls down starts crying and then I wake up. (My mum is nowhere to be seen and they have been together since before I was born and I'm nearly 40) I only saw the back of dad's head and it's not even his grey hair it's dark brown but in my head it's definitly him but no idea how I knew it was him maybe its in my parents house I can't remember now and mum was nowhere to be seen maybe it wasn't him after all???)
Now I feel like I need to explain I was not abused by my dad when I was younger. We live hundreds of miles away and he's nearly 80! It is so impossible that it has happened or could happen its unreal. And it has not happened to me. I didn't watch any films or programmes that could have caused it.
What is wrong with me to have these nightmares? I woke up out of breath sweating feeling like I'd been in a fight with Mike Tyson. I've dreamt in the past of my children and my partner too but it's never been with so many details more like a suspicion etc again no reason to suggest it has happened or would happen but these dreams can ruin my relationships with people I love because I don't forget them and I remember it in so much details that it feels like it has happened.
I mentioned it to a counsellor but they had no idea they suggested the one with my partner is probably down to our sexual relationship where he wants sex alot and I don't and its my mind trying to say what could happen if I don't (as I've imagined in nightmares him having sex with female friends etc he has never even mentioned fancying anyone and is like my soul mate no reason to think he would stray or anything but apparantly my subconscious doesn't think the same. But I've never had a nightmare like this about my dad...)
Any dream experts out there? Honestly my children are 100% safe absoloutly no chance they have been in any of these situations atall. Nor have the males involved ever been suspected or accused of doing anything similar. Nor has anyone involved had a discussion that could plant these seeds in my head.
Am I crazy do i need help?
