Sister in law hates me

[Riviera2001]

Hi has anyone got any advise for me. My fiancé's sister in law hates me. She is married to his brother. She is very rude towards me and excludes me from conversation. She will have a conversation with my fiancé and act like I'm not even there. She is sarcastic and openly rude to me should I care. Or just carry on being me.

It literally is unexplainable

That’s a typical normal text conversation, especially if you’re in the middle of doing something else. It sounds like you’re looking for reasons to be annoyed at her. Why are you texting her?

Yes i understand that she may not like me but why. I don't like people if they do or say something mean I don't just decide to be spiteful to people just because I feel like it I don't get it

Nice bit of casual racism there @alwayshappy93

She's a jealous insecure bitch. Call her out on it. You dont have to be rude or confrontational to stand up for yourself. Just next time she excludes you, just make her aware that you are there. Fellow brownie here and I would never dream of being rude to my white sil

I don't think you understand. You won't understand unless he met her then you will see it's hard to explain

Being nice won’t make her like you. Being nice will just lead her to treat you as a doormat. She won’t think better of you.

You need to confront it I’m afraid

Thank you alwayshappy93

In normal circumstances I would find that text normal any of my friends texted a thumbs up I wouldn't think anything of it but because it's her and I know past comments she made to me I know how rude she's been to my face in a very sligh way it's very clear that she didn't want to talk to me she has been nice when she's felt like it in the past but I know when she's not being nice

It shouldn't bother me but it does she will be my family and that very upsetting

I am only rude to people if they are rude to me but when it's family it's hard to do that without putting my fiancé in an awkward place. He is very strong is already not taking to his parents because that don't want to know me. It's not that he's not supporting me he just told me to talk to her and ask what the issue is.

I text her to ask her to give our nephew a kiss for his birthday and to say we will come and see them after lockdown that's why I texted

She probably doesn't hate you, it's probably just to try & feel better about herself because of her shitty ILs.

I don't think her text responses to you were rude; however, I think it depends upon your expectations. It sounds to me as though you want a friendly relationship with her - to be able to socialise, chat, have a laugh etc. There's nothing wrong with that, but reading your posts and your description of both her and you, I wonder if she simply feels as though she has very little in common with you?

If this is the case, then I can understand her responses - polite but not wanting to get involved in a conversation. Obviously, if she does blank you when you see each other, that's different.

I might be inclined to give up trying to forge a friendship with her and just be civil but relatively disinterested when you meet.

My advice would be to stay calm but call her out every time she's rude to you. Do it ideally in front of your partners.

It's simply highlighting to her that you are seeing her attitude and behaviour is off. Things like "Are you okay?" While tilting your head and smiling pitifully at her... or "Did you mean to seem so rude?" Smile worryingly...

She'll not like the negative attention.

The men shouldn't allow this to continue either so if she is ignoring you in front of them, really they should be saying to her not to ignore Riviera.

I don't think her behaviour can be excused by race, intellectual level or looks. It really just comes down to bad manners and an unpleasant personality. You possibly trigger something majorly insecure about herself but that's not your fault. It's her weakness.

Stop trying so hard love. You don’t need to involve the whole family, you just need to call her out on her behaviour at time she’s being rude and put a stop to it.