is there an activity you enjoyed to do together that you could do yourself?

Ah, it's so tough, isn't it?

My mum only died last year. But on her birthday we planted a beautiful winter flowering blossom tree with her ashes underneath. So now we light a candle in her tree and spend 10 minutes under the tree rasing a toast to her. It's the second birthday since she died on monday. Her best friend is coming to join us under the tree tomorrow. I have her favourite cake in the oven as we speak.

We also did the same on NYE and the anniversary of her death.

I struggle massively with thinking about her final weeks. She didn't look like my mum. It was harrowing. So I focus on how she was when she was well. I have some lovely photos of her that I cherish.

for you. I hope you find something that helps you.

crumpets It's so hard I know, I still miss my Mum after many years. These aren't rituals, just some ideas that might help ease the pain of your loss.
Have you tried writing a letter to her, to pour out all your sadness? Afterwards you could burn it or tear it up.
Do you have somewhere where you and your Mum were happy together that you could visit? Try to remember that happiness and use it wipe away your present pain.
Maybe spend an evening listening to music your Mum liked, perhaps have a candle or two lit to create a peaceful atmosphere.

I think your instinct to remember rather than to bury or hide is good, and that by facing the pain you will begin to heal from it. Ten years is a long time to suffer the misery of grief, I do hope you start to recover soon.