Kelly Marks book

[Pixel]

I was browsing on Amazon earlier and saw the Kelly Marks 'Perfect confidence' book. Has anyone seen it and is it any good? I would normally avoid 'self help' type books but my riding confidence is one step forwards, two back atm and I need some inspiration! Are there any other books that you would recommend? I thought I was going to have more success with the confidence CD but I got interrupted so often I sort of gave up. I'm going to try and give that another go but am thinking a book might be good to dip into as well.

Kelly Marks is very good. I have two of her books, Ive done some of her stuff with my beasts. Not sure about the whole confidence building thing, I just gave up doing things I wasnt confident at!

I had one of her RAs out for a different issue (demonic Haflinger ) and mentioned to the RA that I was also having some nerves problems - she got those sorted for me too in about 15 minutes!

Thanks, but what is an RA? [thick emoticon].

"Recommended Associate" - it's someone who's done all Kelly/Monty's courses and has a certificate and is personally endorsed by Kelly!

I'd think the book would be great - all her others are!

Ah well I might get it then. Can't hurt!

Anyway, am feeling more positive today. Took dhorse out even though I was almost sick with fear in the car on the way over, and it was ok. I even enjoyed several minutes of it ha ha (mainly the bits where I could hear passers by commenting on how beautiful he is ). I was very proud of myself when we went past a bus and I managed sit up and not grab the reins. A small acheivement but a big one to me. Thing is, if I can't get my act together I will have to sell him, he is so wasted, but he really is beautiful and brave and clever, and I don't want to!

So, I've made arrangements today to take him to another yard for a month after half term and before the summer holidays start. They have a floodlit school and hacking directly on to the Downs. Also my instructor is based there so we can have a sort of intensive course. If that doesn't sort me out then there is no hope really and I'll have to take up breeding budgies or something.

Pixel, do stick with it, I know just how you feel, and I gave in to it! Since having kids and being bolted with whilst pregnant with ds(14), I lost my confidence completely. Gradually got it back, but never really got back into hacking, (it's a rat run round here, bloody dangerous) and had a nice 13hh new forest on loan. Then a couple of years ago, I fell off at walk, when the beast shied at the hedge, landed badly and seriously broke my arm. Six months later, I returned to work! I gave her up, and now rarely ride. I will potter about on our giant Shetland now and again, and if I'm visiting my friend at the riding school I will join in now and again, but my heart isn't in it anymore. I really miss riding, I'm lucky to have ponies to play with, but sometimes it's hard to see everyone else having all the fun! Don't give up, stick with it!
Hint, if you feel nervous, try singing. It really does help to relax you, and gives you and the horse something to think about other than your nerves!

Not sure my singing voice will have the desired effect, it'll most probably send him running for the hills.

Actually I was looking at that book on Amazon and it said that the two very worst things for loss of confidence are a bad fall (obvious really!) and a long break from riding. So you are one and I'm the other. I had years of not riding when my old pony was retired (couldn't afford two, wouldn't part with him) and it's done for me I'm afraid but I would make the same decision again. I do so miss enjoying riding though. I'd love a go on your giant shetland!

Pixel, you would love my Shetland, she takes a 5'3 rug, a cob sized bridle, and longer girth than my old 13hh new forest! She rides like 14.2 and when I sit on her my feet just come to her elbows. I look like I am riding a cob in a ditch! She is a big love, sweet and reserved, and I completely trust her with dd. She looks like a mini Percheron and bears more than a passing resemblance to a black rhino!
I love Kelly marks and monty Roberts, join up on it's own does masses for your confidence!

Oh I want her for ds! He loves our shetland so much he walks round the field with his arm over her back and cuddles her while she has her food. May not sound much but he is severely autistic, completely non-verbal and has never shown any interest in any other animal despite being brought up with dogs/cats etc. The shetland seems to know all this and is a perfect angel with him but he really is too big for her now (age 10 but I've just bought him age 12 trousers for the summer) and she is not far off 30 so we don't want to overdo it with her. I keep saying "if only we could find a bigger version of Star". She is black too, perhaps he wouldn't notice the swap?

Isn't join up the thing where you turn your back on the horse and it comes to you? (after all the chasing round stuff). If you don't mind I don't think doing that with dhorse will help my confidence! He already has a habit of looming up behind us when we are poo-picking and has knocked us over a few times. He loves being with people a bit too much!

NOOO! you can do join up with any horse. It is a Monty Roberts thing, but KM tells you how in her books too. Basically, you take the horse into a secure pen or menage, and using a whip/lunge line and your body language, you shoo them away, until they submit to you. It is a herd thing. Any youngster misbehaving, will be shooed from the herd by the mares. This puts them in danger from predators, and makes them insecure and nervous. They are only let back into the herd, when they submit, basically say sorry, and give the right signals. This probably isnt a good description, but, it is fairly easy to do with the right instructions, and when the horse submits to you, trusts you, and folllows you without a rope, it is really emotional, and great for improving your bond with the horse. My timid daughter did this with her pony, and I cried!