New sharer has lost her nerve - how to turn it around?

[skihorse]

I'm a big fat pregnant hippo and my riding will become less and less frequent. Due to horrible ms and dreadful weather I've not ridden since early December.

My girl is a 17.2hh warmblood who is normally pretty chilled - she has her moments, don't we all? She's been getting daily turn-out despite the shocking weather.

At the weekend I finally got a sharer - a 16 year old who's known at the yard and is a nice, calm rider. She rode her saturday and tuesday and yesterday I got a bit of a panicky email saying she was having problems handling her "enthusiasm" whilst hacking.

In my experience she is generally a pita for the first half an hour or until she gets her first pipe-opener. I also ride in a pelham with two sets of reins.

Sharer does not want two reins so I was thinking maybe I ought to get some roundings rather than just have her in a snaffle... other than that, what would you advise? Right now the girl is scared to give her that pipe-opener because she's bouncing around but it's a double-edged swored of course.

would lungeing her first be any help?

This is after lungeing.

Just got this mail, names removed to protect the innocent and bear in mind the girl who sent it isn't a native speaker of English so don't slag her English!

"I've heard P, M ans J talking about it...
So i didn't interfer them and just let them talk without saying anything...

I think it's just the waether. Ginger hasn't been outside for a while and I think she is just really happy.
Aswell J as P as M are just fun riders and ride not so long and so good as you and N and E for example.
I think all horses are fit now and these 3 riders had a little fear. Every horse can sense that and take adventage in some way...
I've heard it was that bad that they didn't stay on the horses backs and started walking... "

The best part of the above ^ is that she's compared my riding to E who is the YO and one of those people who gets SPONSORED with real live horses and everyfink!

But the problem remains obv. I thought I might take her out for a spin on saturday and let her run... if that's what she wants to do.

errr Ski, not taking the p out of the email honestly, but I can't quite understand it! Is she saying she got off and led Ginger back when out on the hack?

Sounds like she is a bit over-horsed with your girl though doesn't it. Any chance you could be on the ground giving her some guidance or maybe lunge Ginger with the girl on board? Maybe give her some confidence?

Congratulations on being linked with YO btw

errr 17.2 , pelham, double reins , lunging prior to riding and still needs to let rip before settles sounds like quite alot of horse to me, think would need very very experienced , confident rider to me .

Owls Actually all THREE of them on the hack got off and walked home! OK, I can see that my girl was maybe a bit much but if the other two couldn't cope either...

mummydoc I was thinking about it more and maybe I think she's easy because I'm used to her, I wouldn't normally lunge her before riding and I suppose I know how to keep her calm.

Anyway I'm taking her out saturday morning for a pipe-opener to see if she's being winter-difficult or a big, fat stroppy mare!

As far as the Pelham goes, I hate strong nosebands and I just find she works better in a pelham than a snaffle - and of course the curb rein need only be applied when necessary!

not crtising in anyway , and maybe you are a more experienced rider ( better rider if you like )

ski I meant to come and reply to this before - sorry!

I might be talking bollocks (likely) but I have this issue when I am riding - when I know a horse well - I feel safe. I know the boundaries - eg. well they jog a bit, but it never means anything more, so is fine. I know they won't piss off with me.

With a new horse - I don't really trust them until I really know them and their 'boundaries'.

So - you know your horse - you trust her - therefore to you, she is safe. Your teen doesn't know what she is capable of yet - and is therefore more scared than you are...

Is that possibly true? i dunno... It sounds to me like she needs to ride your horse alot more to get used to her... But when the rider is nervous - the horse always reacts innit..

Roundings might work - can you get someone else to try her with them first? Sometimes I find because you don't have the refinement of the action, they can make them more bouncy... I always prefer two reins for that reason.. but is tricky when you not used to them as you teen sounds she might not be? She needs to have some fun on your horse and enjoy her - maybe a bit of schooling/ lessons together might help confidence? Even a lunge lesson as Owls says?

Sorry - am waffling... hope you get it sorted tho...

took so long to post that I now see you have said this yourself - duh... I should type faster

iggy Well I'm going to meet up with her on Saturday after I've ridden and see if we can come to some sort of conclusion. Lessons may well be a way to go. Because she's still at school she has absolutely bags of time in school holidays coming up, lighter evenings etc., etc. - so I just hope she will want to persevere, however - if she is as mummydoc suggests simply over-horsed then I'll have to find a plan b.

These things are never simple are they?

I've seen a girl advertising this morning though looking for a share and she's competed quite a bit so that might be an option.

Is your horsie any calmer when the weather gets warmer? Mine is you see... So by Summer he's a doddle...

Just depends on her confidence - cos once it's lost it's hard to get back...

Nothing is ever simple

Yes, she's the same... but of course by the time she's "easy" to handle it'll be at the end of the time I need her. Bugger.

Bizarre - took her out this morning and was expecting a fight but she didn't put a foot out of place.

Talked to a few around the yard and it just seems to have been a combination of hacking out with the hopeless and one of those days where just everything goes wrong... including a dog jumping out of a bush and biting one of the nags.

She's happy to give it another whirl though, will take a lesson and I've given her a discrete list of whom not to hack out with...

It can be difficult to find a capable sharer for your horse. What seems like normal behaviour in them to us can be unsettling for people not used to it. I had real trouble finding someone to help out with mine, even though I think he is a dobbin most of the time. He would be fine with someone for ages then have one of his '17.3hh, but just grown to 20hh+ because a leaf move the wrong way' moments which really only happen once in a blue moon, and I would be back without a sharer again. Fortunately the one I have now is seemingly oblivious to any awful behaviour and has good superglue - he's fit, fresh and newly clipped atm!

One thing I would say is if your sharer is having any little worries or doubts you've got to nip them in the bud straight away. You don't want someone on your good horse who is unsure of themselves in a tricky situation. Either micro-manage it for a little while to make sure things get back on track, or try and find another sharer. She's your horse at the end of the day.