Pony Club Vent

[MrPickles73]

Anyone else find pony club cliquey?

We wrestle through the wind, mud and rain of winter for the kids to enjoy the summer with their ponies.

For some unknown reason DC2 always gets the B team at competitions.. always.. and tends to be the soul survivor whilst the other poor things Tumble off at jump 2. DC2 is small for their age so looks about 11 but is 13 and often teamed up with younger kids.

Camp DC2 also gets put in the idiot group. The first year DC2 was not happy in idiot group please can it move to be with it's friends. I was told no they go in age group not ability. So that was that.. last year they moved DC2 down an age group at camp to satisfy another child who unknown to us had asked to be with our kid but our kid had not asked to be with them.. this kid is nice enough but again not a great rider. So DC2 was back in idiot group..

Now my kid is not amazing but not a bad rider for its age, very popular with other kids and easy to handle so no issues.

Now we get to the pony club area qualifiers.. DC2 has been put in the 4th team out of 4 with a kid who cannot memorise courses, a kid who is nervous and sadly often gets bucked off and a kid who has never jumped the height...

Is there a X on our foreheads?

I've asked someone else and she said she's stepped back from it because it gets too much for her. The weird thing is they all seem nice people. So why do they have a vendetta for DC2?

Should we move pony clubs?

Maybe they think your child belongs in the idiot group and you’re just oblivious. 🤷‍♀️

Calling other children 'the idiot group' is very unkind.

The idiot group is a joke 😜

You're missing the point.. I just don't get what the selection policy is.. it seems those who use the DCs livery yard always land in the best teams.

DC1 had no team last year and had to go as an individual and this year there is a team at their height but apparently no space for them and they are in the area team.. I just find it extraordinary that some kids are always in the best team despite being eliminated etc.. It ruins entering pony club events if there is not a level playing field?

Hardly a joke, just unpleasant. If you do not agree, move pony clubs.

I know you're venting and not saying it publicly but even thinking of little kids as idiots never mind referring to them as such isn't very nice and won't make you any friends.

The thing about pony club is that it's meant to be about having fun and learning/improving your riding and horsemanship. I know it can get competitive sometimes but that really isn't the point - competitive children's SJ and eventing is available if what you want is to win trophies and rosettes. And if you feel it's no longer fun for your child or they're not learning, you are free to go elsewhere, it's not compulsory after all.

That being said, I do recognise some of your frustrations about how groups and teams are determined in PC, the selection process for want of a better word can be quite blurry and certainly rarely perfect, for good reason I guess because there's a lot of different things to take into account, and the DCs and volunteers have enough to worry about without having to argue and justify themselves to parents and kids about who is in what group and how they chose. Sometimes it's mostly age, sometimes how long they've been in the branch, sometimes ability, sometimes personality mix (of kids, ponies and teachers which is quite complex on its own) and friendships come into the equation, and sometimes yes some kids (or some parents) do get what can at least seem from the outside like preferential treatment. Who knows what's going on for your child, I would highly doubt the PC organisers have decided to play a really long game of repeatedly downgrading them purely to wind you and your child up, but it might be that they are just permanently on the lower end of average for their age so they always end up being one of the more capable riders in the lower ability group (which can be no bad thing for confidence and progression I would add, compared to the other way around). Or maybe your assessment of their ability doesn't quite match the instructors'. Or maybe they are seen as being a kind child who will have patience with the other kids and encourage/help them with things like remembering a course. Maybe their pony is a particularly good sort that won't get wound up if others are bucking and kicking off. Maybe you're seen as the nice parent out of all the borderline children who won't make a fuss about your child being in B team. Or maybe other parents dedicate a lot of time and effort to helping out and being nice to the DC and instructors and you don't so much, so in a borderline call that sways it in favour of another child's preference. Let's not pretend that sort of thing never happens, it clearly does. It's probably a combination of several of these things TBH.

I probably wouldn't say anything, encourage your child to have fun and do the best they can, show some leadership within their team if team success is important to them, but also work on and develop themselves. Usually at camp there's a chance for at least some individual competition as well as teams and if winning is important they stand as far better chance of getting the red rosette if they're the best in B group than the worst in A, cold comfort perhaps but there you go. And longer term if you're repeatedly feeling frustrated and not seeing progression and enjoyment on your child's part, change branches or quit PC altogether and focus on something else?

@maxelly thanks for the balanced approach

They all seem nice people so it does seem weird that it happens every time. Both DC are well behaved and good listeners so I don't think it's a subliminal punishment and I don't get the impression that they or myself are disliked. I have offered to help several times but the offer is politely declined and my husband has been a volunteer for 3 years so we certainly pull our weight as a family. We also actively attend rallies.

The 'preferential' are a mixture of relatives, liveries and people who never turn up to rallies.

I think by mid teens kids enter competitions in the hope to do well and atleast test themselves on a level playing field. I have been a sports team manager for a few years and been very careful to ensure everyone gets equal game time and not to treat my own kids any differently.

We could go to another pony club. The nearest one to us is very tiny and not very good so alas not that one. Our pony club has very good instructors but a high percentage of parents who were members themselves which is really lovely but it does mean it is quite cliquey. We recently got a new DC so I did think things would improve but it seems to be slipping back to where we were.

Perhaps look for an active riding club that has a junior membership instead .

In our PC all the instructors/ people who host rallies etc kids get on all the teams. Sometimes in a team of 4 there is only one space left for a none guaranted member. Best kid at camp/ turned out etc are laughable in their transparancy. The instructor kids usually do train more but are not universally better. Some have barely been at training. I am not sure moving branches would really help. We aren't that pushy for SJ etc but if you were go affiliated. A lot of the keen SJ barely bother with PC. I also think the idiot group and all the comments about children being rubbish is in bad taste. If that vibe comes out no one will like it. To get on teams we go to training, have a safe pony, turn up as requested looking the requested way and take it on the chin if we aren't selected. We usually get some nice trips in. Helping at branch comps and setting up etc goes a very long way. If you really want to be on the team offer to be branch secretary!