Lost sight of what is acceptable?

[Namexhangedforthis]

Name changed for this

Under what circumstances, if any, would you think it is okay or necessary to hit another horse across the face with your whip (when both horse are being hacked out).

I feel I’ve lost all perspective and judgement…

To clarify- one owner riding out hit my horse (being ridden by me) across the face with her whip

I guess the only (possibly) acceptable circumstance might be if the horse is rearing up & about to strike someone, I.e. causing an immediate threat to life. Otherwise no.

We we’re trotting uphill and my horse stopped to the right of her horse rather than behind (my horse is still a bit green)
No other issue ie no threats of biting, kicking etc and on quiet bridle path with no people or animals.

I felt so shocked I said nothing but will see this person tomorrow and am trying to get my head around what happened and what to say.

My horse was obviously startled but fortunately did not rear or spin which could have ended badly.

Never! What happened? Did she say anything? How did your horse respond? So many questions....

I mean, just why would someone do that?

absolutely unreasonable and dangerous behaviour, especially as your horse is green.

Was she using the whip just to touch /nudge his head as a gentle correction or did she properly hit? I have to use my whip when doing ride and lead if the lead horse starts crowding and I'm not against a tap on the jaw if pressure isn't working. In the circumstances you describe she could have asked you to turn him away or back up.

She hit with annoyance and force, this was no nudge.
My horse shied back but luckily didn’t rear or spin.
I was so shocked I said nothing and remained very well back and silent for the rest of the hack. There was another person leading the group who was unaware of what happened.
I will talk to this person tomorrow - on a small livery yard so need to choose my words and actions carefully.
I appreciate it is annoying if a horse comes up close behind but I was beginning to doubt my gut feeling that this was completely out of order.

it’s never acceptable.
and it makes them head shy.

id be asking her what exactly happened that made her think it was appropriate to hit an animal im the face with a whip.
I doubt there is any reason )unless being attacked by a carnivore or shark!)

be interesting to hear hers. them you can put her right.

Hold on, you are stating this so calmly, you said absolutely nothing, can't believe what I am reading here!
I would have been really upset about my poor horse being ' forceably whipped' in the face. Don't you love your horse, or is he 'just' a horse to you?

I can see why it might seem otherwise, but I think the absolute world of my horse, who is a gentle soul but still green.
I’m not a particularly articulate or assertive person and said nothing at the time partly through stunned shock, and partly because I knew I would end up in a big argument out on the hack (on a route I didn’t know) and not get my point across and almost certainly unsettle my horse even more.

I also wanted to be sure of my position and what I planned to say so I can approach things calmly tomorrow.
This person has been very friendly with the yard owner for many years whereas I am relatively new. She is very experienced and I am a relative newcomer (a few years) to the horse world.

I mean of course I agree with others that her approach was unacceptable, it sounds simply like she lost her temper with him being slightly bargey and decided you weren't doing a good enough job of controlling / disciplining him so took matters into her own hands. My concern is though that you think you're going to be able to make her see that if you present her with 'facts' or a calm, logical argument. I'd doubt it myself, in my experience people like this are more likely to double down when challenged, and TBH even if she does apologise or whatever I really don't think I'd want to hack out with her again - if that leaves you in an awkward position on the yard then that's unfortunate but your horse's welfare and yours is more important surely - as you say could have ended very nastily...

Do you need to hack with her ? If not and you want to stay on the yard , bearing in mind she is friends with the owner , I think I’d just move on but avoid having much to do with her going forward . The moment to say something was at the time , probably pointless doing so now and will likely end in an argument . Terrible behaviour from her but I really can’t understand why you left it unchallenged at the time , even having read your explanation , I wouldn’t have been so restrained .

Thank you all very much for your wise words.

I think you did the right thing in not confronting her on the actual hack, by the sounds of it you would have run the risk of it turning into an even higher stressful event for your horse if this person had started arguing back at you and shouting.

I would keep away from this person in the future, and talk to the yard owner about her behaviour. Unless she is the yard owner, then I would be looking for another yard.

She sounds awful, there are a lot of bitches in the horse world unfortunately. Makes one wonder what she does behind closed doors when there’s no one watching. Totally unacceptable!

Absolutely, hopefully she doesn't help the yard owner with turning out and bringing in ect. And I would be wondering about the yard owners practice as well if these people are old friends.

Immediate danger. If they were lashing out, I might try to drive them back with the whip but actually hitting them in the face with it, there would have to be immediate danger to life.