Just after some advice really. Apologies for the long post. My Daughter is in her GCSE year. While she’s expected to pass everything, school hasn’t been particularly easy for her. She’s highly self critical, has diagnoses of ADHD and dyslexia and is in the process of being assessed for Autism too, on the recommendation of her ADHD psychologist. She nearly dropped out of school completely this time last year, prior to her ADHD diagnosis. Horses have always been a positive for her when school has been difficult and there have been many times when I felt she’s getting more out of riding than being at school.
I am the typical non horsey parent. I never ever wanted horses. Thought it was a ridiculous idea but eventually gave into 6 years of pressure. Her determination and single mindedness is quite legendary! I started with no clue about them . I’ve learnt an awful lot in three years and have been supported by some incredible horsey people along the way, but still have no idea why anyone would want to compete 😂 I’ve supported her in doing it because it’s what she’s wanted to do and it’s something she’s quite good at. She has gone from riding school lessons three years ago to eventing BE 90. She lost her first horse to a tragic field injury 18 months ago but decided she wanted to carry on and her current horse is absolutely brilliant and a horse of a lifetime. However, she’s event bred, hot blooded, sharp and needs consistent riding. She’s certainly not over horsed . They are brilliant together but the horse isn’t the type to be put down and picked back up, as and when.
She intended to step up to BE100 this year but a combination of winter, GCSE pressure and the very well intended pressure of her coaches and instructors, who clearly see some potential in them both, has just come to a head. She’s exhausted and has hit a low
( which is not uncommon for her) . She says that she can’t give the horse what she needs and do her exams. She feels like it’s a choice between failing her GCSE’s or failing the horse. I feel like the horse would probably be fine just hacked for six months but what do I know ! I think she’s just totally overwhelmed.
It might all be fixed by a week off school , which is something that she’s had before and is already agreed by the school when needed.
Aside from that, I’m just at a loss of what to do. Do we sell the horse, knowing that GCSE’s will be followed by A levels? In truth I’d even give her away despite her value. I’m not interested in making any money back. I’d just like a good home for her.
Do I make a decision for her not to compete until GCSE’s are over?
I’m putting so much time, money and effort in ( we now have her mare and two ponies on DIY, as naturally her little sister had to follow suit 😂)
Also, while I’ve enjoyed them at times and would do anything for her to pursue something she’s good at, horses aren’t my thing . If it was just me there are many other things I’d rather be doing. I guess my question is , is it worth it.
It feels like we’re both at a point where we could cut our loses and move on. I don’t think that’s something I would personally regret but I think she might come to regret it and I know that we’ve fallen in our feet with the horse and it would be pretty much impossible to find another like her in the future.