Horse/baby/home

[Sylviebear]

Hi, looking for advice please. I have had my first horse for 18months. Lovely boy. Recently found out I’m pregnant have 2 ds in primary school.
My options are to stay where I am which is diy very local. Soon to be assisted and then my friend will take over for a short period. Or I have the option to bring him home. I have 2 stables at home and land, no school but in the future. Husband a farmer, not crazy happy as likes our feilds neat lol but will come round easily enough
I naively think I’ll see my horse more, more quality time and it might b easier at home instead of going up the yard twice a day etc, school runs nap times , life stuff.
I have a friend that would move hers to mine aswell. So in some ways it might be perfect, but I’m torn, also the aspect if having ppl in our family space everyday
husband would rather I put him on full livery and no stress, but then my time would b limited with him when I have childcare which I don’t really.
No need to make any decisions atm and all nice happy problems. What would you do x

If you don't have childcare then you still won't be able to ride while he's at home. I'd put him out on loan for a year or two I think. Or at least find a sharer to keep him ticking over.

I would be able in the evenings or mornings when husband is home, easier to pop outside than leave and go somewhere I think, no not a loaner, I can have my instructor ride him weekly but , wouldn’t he be happy at home? Even if not ridden as much, out with a friend lots of cuddles .
or maybe full livery is the best option then, just love his big head x

Full livery every time , at least when you do see the horse it will be quality time with him , that is assuming you can find somewhere that you are happy to put him which will likely be the biggest issue , it always was for me .

Full livery to start with at least for the first few months, then see how you feel.

I think I'd share your husband's cautiousness about having your friend's horse at your place too, I just think there's so much potential for that to go wrong, not in a huge life changing way or even just the awkwardness of having someone hanging around on your property all the time which is probably overcome able with good communication and ground rules, more things like what if your horse and hers don't get on (even if they do now things can change), or conversely what if they get super attached and can't ever be separated, what if their management needs diverge e.g. one needs heavy grazing management while the other needs to put on weight, or what if it turns out your friend is really messy or careless with equipment, or doesn't do her fair share of poo picking or turns up really late to turn out in the mornings (the old saying is you think you know someone, try living with them, I'd add trying keeping horses together), or what if her horse turns into a fence destroyer or cribber and damages your property. It could all just get super awkward and if it ends up not working out you'd have to find a companion for your horse or move him to livery sharp-ish. That's just not what you need with a new baby. On the other hand I do see your argument about riding more often if he's at home and also having an on-tap friend to ride with, and I do think the farming lifestyle and set-up is a lot more conducive to having horses at home than the average person with a normal job.

I think I'd just worry about what if it really doesn't work having him at home and you want to swap to livery in a few months would that not be then really disappointing and a let-down for your friend who'd also have to uproot herself and horse again too?

I'd bring him home but my children are older and I admit that I've forgotten how time consuming the newborn days are (particularly with two older ones). But, the relentless driving back and forth would drive me potty now, let alone with a newborn . . . and if you can afford full livery then why not? But would you miss him? You might feel that having him at home provides a reason for 'you time'.

I'd also be concerned that the quality of the full livery wasn't up to my standard but you may well be liveried in a place with a fabulous standard of care.