If you got a pony as a non-horsey family any regrets??

[GoGoFloFlo]

DD is getting into ponies.

I rode as a teenager and again as an adult. Haven’t ridden for several years though.

Assuming DD sticks with it and shows real commitment, I’m interested in hearing views on getting a pony as a non-equestrian family. I know the basics but am very very far from an expert.

Obviously we won’t be rushing and will look into a share or loan before buying.

If you ended up with a pony as a non-horsey family, any regrets? Thanks

Please keep on with lessons for as long as possible. I've seen so many non-horsey families stick their child in a riding school for 6 months then think they are competent enough for their own pony. Ends in disaster each time.
I would say minimum of 3 years at a riding school plus lots of stable management lessons for child + parents if you are non-horsey. A lot can go wrong quickly with horses and you need to be equipped.

Not quite the same as I've always been horsey so DH (to some extent) knew what he was getting into, but I wouldn't call us a horsey family as such, me and DD1 are horse mad and always have been, DH and DD2 are occasional, take it or leave it riders and DS only really likes horses from a distance! We got our first pony for DD1 (I'd had my own horse when we were first married but gave up riding for pregnancy/baby days) when she was in year 5 so 9 turning 10 and we had ponies pretty much constantly from then onwards.

Do I regret it, the short answer is no but obviously there's a much longer answer too, I think anyone that has horses and says they've never a flicker of any doubt or regret is either very lucky or outright lying. There's no doubt horses take up a huge, huge amount of time, money and energy and my biggest regret is probably that doing this incredible thing for DD1 did inevitably mean DD2 and DS got dragged along for the ride (pun intended!) as only somewhat willing passengers. We were/are very lucky that financially we could invest in their hobbies and interests equally to DD1, and time and practicalities-wise DH picked up a huge amount of slack ferrying them to different places and supporting practices and attending concerts and matches and so forth while DD1 and I were busy with the ponies, and he gained enough horsey competency to supervise DD sometimes and do yard jobs while I attempted to occasionally not be a total stranger to the other two . Seriously though I did often feel pulled in far too many different directions (although I think that's normal enough with 3 very different kids with separate interests) and between that a full-on job to afford it all it didn't leave me very much time for myself (I was/am lucky enough to be small so I could ride DD's ponies on occasion but realistically they were her rides, I didn't get much of a look in). And I have to be honest that it did impact things like what holidays we could take, what we could do at Christmas and so on. Plus the emotional impact, we had a real bad run of luck with colic and injuries and lost two ponies in short succession which was just absolute heartbreak for the whole family as we all loved them as pets as well as DD's hobby.

So yes, there's no way I would do it without DH 100% behind it and stepping up ++ to support, plus way more financial stability than you even imagine you'll ever need as the expenses are endless. But if you have those two things covered then it's so wonderful owning your own, a pony-filled childhood is the happiest thing imaginable for me and the skills and resilience they learn from riding are second to none.

But that being said I do think there's absolutely nothing wrong with saying that it's not the right thing for the whole family and finding other ways to get your DD pony time that aren't quite such a huge commitment, lots and lots of pony kids are not ever lucky enough to own their own and the truly determined/commited ones will usually find a way, helping out on the yard, shares/loans, riding holidays, own-a-pony days, PC membership as a non-owner, there's lots they can do... Or (they tell me!) it is possible to reach a reasonable proficiency and enjoy weekly lessons or hacks alongside other hobbies and interests without it becoming an all consuming addiction, I can't imagine this personally mind! [Grin]

I got my first horse last year aged 41! It has been years since I’d really been around horses but the kids ride too. I have him on full livery and the kids still have lessons at the riding school as well as lessons on our horse. He’s a joy but oh my good there’s so much I still don’t know and I am so lucky for a small friendly yard where everyone helps us! He of course is a huge money pit too!!

Thanks everyone

There's no doubt horses take up a huge, huge amount of time, money and energy and my biggest regret is probably that doing this incredible thing for DD1 did inevitably mean DD2 and DS got dragged along for the ride (pun intended!) as only somewhat willing passengers

@maxelly we have an only child so this is a very valid point but not a consideration for us :o)

I have seen several not particularly horsey families buy a pony for their child and really struggle with basics. Would probably recommend you did some horse care courses and got confident with understanding basic feeding and exercise needs, first aid, how to spot lameness etc. as well as how to supervise your child riding. Otherwise you will be pulled in every direction just listening to anyone. It can be incredible and a really healthy childhood but equally, lots can go wrong. You need knowledgeable people around you who you trust. Having had lessons yourself will be a help but is very different to having the every day responsibility. Lots to think about. Take your time to research and learn. Enjoy whatever you choose to do.

I would go for a loan. We have a pony on part loan-kept at a livery yard with hacking from doorstep and instructor onsite. We help with lots of stable jobs but ultimate responsibility for horse is not ours. Dd gets three two hour hacks a week and is learning what a huge time and money commitment it is. The pony’s owner rides her twice a week and has another horse at the yard, too.

Thanks @Haggisfish3 what’s the going rate for that kind of arrangement? We are in the South East.

Tbh most non horsey people I’ve seen ended up getting far more advanced than those of us doing our one/ two lessons a week (I used to work in rising schools at the weekends) and ended up fully in and competent!

It varies , so if you have a diy yard can be £15 a day but you have to go twice and do all jobs. On a full livery ( if I ever loaned out mine) it would be more like £30 a day but you could just turn up, groom and ride . I see quite a few advertised for £25 a day with additional contribution to shoes (6-8 weekly) you’d need your own rider insurance too.

We pay £160 a calendar month with no extra costs on top of that, bar any lesson costs. So it’s slightly more than a weekly half hour lesson would be but dd gets far more riding.

I don't regret it, though my bank balance might 😄

Best thing I did. We mostly had loan ponies. My(now grown up) kids learned resilience, hard work, team work and were out and about in all weathers. They had a huge amount of fun.

I was horsey as a child/teen but didnt have my own, so I learned a lot too. Kept me fit!

My sister and I started riding at 5 and my parents were totally non horsey . Back in those days it was much easier to help out at riding schools and my parents were extremely supportive with getting us to the yard and by 9/10 I was riding 2/3 times a week on school ponies . We got our first horse when I was 11 , second at 12 , third at 16 ( Shetland companion) and then another riding horse when I was 19 . My parents became extremely competent but never rode infact my mum was probably one of the first ‘sheath cleaning expert ‘ locally . She was also mad as a box of frogs and liked our mares (1&4) to go out in matching rugs and head collars and was constantly washing / drying rugs / numnahs/ head collars . I don’t think my parents ( both now deceased) ever regretted getting us our first and the horses really did become a family affair .

Non horsey mum here - although my family have had horses so I was around them growing up. I don’t regret buying the horses (we’re on our second now) but what I find hard is the horse world in general, it can be a lonely place if you’re new to it. Would suggest a livery yard with other youngsters to ride out with or joining a pony club.
We've made many many mistakes and you will too, and that’s ok, we’re still learning 4 years down the line.

I think take the time to enjoy it for a few years and see what happens in a few years, especially if secondary school is looming.

I had a horse growing up (and I came from a non-horsey family). It was lovely, though I actually learned more from and enjoyed my riding school lessons more than riding my own horse (who wasn’t really suitable for me). It was a hell of a lot of work and expense. Twice a day most but not every day to feed, turnout, muck out, not a lot of time for riding when you have all the work to do. And a lot of expense, livery costs are £200-600 a month and that’s before feed and farrier and vet bills and all the other things.

Do also consider what happens at 16 or 18 when she’s off on other adventures. I went to uni at 18 and never moved back home again. My mum was left to care for my aged retired horse until the end of her life about 7 years later (the horse, not my mum 🤣). That’s a big commitment in your older years once kids have finally flown the nest and you want to be travelling and doing whatever.

DD is an only child and we got her first pony when she was 8. However, we are horsey, we had horses and both DH and I ride. But it was still really tough and probably if I had my time again I would have waited. Winter is really hard with horses and DD has waned at points. The horse world can be difficult to be in as well and for some reason that feels harder with DD. If I were you I’d see if you can part loan lots of riding schools do them as well as private owners. A good middle ground for a while.

Riding is the easy bit.

For me, it's the knowing colic signs, knowing laminitis prevention and signs, all other first aid type things, knowing how to manage grazing, knowing how to bandage correctly and everything in between that's the most important parts of ownership and often where non-horsey owned equines get let down.
That, and not having a solid role model for support.

Hello advice please on loaning or sharing a horse?
Is sharing the best way?

We part loan so see our horse three days a week but we don’t do a lot of the horse care as she’s in livery.

Hiya, you might want to start your own thread and give a few more details as it really depends on your (/your child if they are the rider) circumstances.

Sharing (or even a riding school loan/lease, slightly different thing) is often recommended as a good first step out of lessons/the riding school and towards owning your own horse, but like everything it has its pros and cons. Pros would be it's the least time consuming and cheapest option, as you usually have fixed days and times where you ride and look after the horse rather than being 24/7 responsible, and it's fixed price with no sudden vet bill expenses or having to pay out to replace tack and other kit. And if the pony turns out to be lame or otherwise unsuitable you can simply give notice and end the share without all the stress of having to return the pony to its owner. Cons, the pony isn't yours at the end of the day which is a hazard if you get too attached as the owner can stop the arrangement or move away etc any time , you have little to no input into where it is stabled/routine/healthcare etc, the owner will usually put quite strict limitations on when / how long you ride and what you do, you usually can't take the pony off site or to competitions etc., you may not be able to have lessons on the pony (or not easily). And in some areas there are very very few ponies available for share, or certainly few that are suitable for a novice/child and/or with a non horsey parent supervising as it has to be a very particular set up for that to work. And there are some dodgy/cheeky people out there keen to make a quick buck and/or get lots of free labour from sharers so you have to have your eyes open and wits about you.

Loaning has a lot of the reverses of the pros/cons, so it's more time and money commitment as you take on full responsibility for the horse, but have more say on what you do with the horse, how often you ride, going out etc, generally a closer experience to owning your own. But there are still usually parameters e.g. the owner may specify the yard the horse is to be kept on, management of health conditions etc. And again it's still their animal so they can take the horse back from you on a whim if they want, even if you've put lots of effort into training the horse or bringing back into work or whatever. And I'd say as a general rule it's even harder to find a suitable healthy well trained child-friendly horse or pony on the open market for full loan than to share (as loaning entails quite a lot more responsibility and trust than sharing and people are naturally reluctant to loan to total strangers) - lots of families do loan out their outgrown ponies but this would tend to be through word of mouth/ yard acquaintances or PC rather than advertised. So if you are not already in horsey circles you may struggle...

I am a professional horse person. I’ve seen a big increase in what I’m calling pony boot camp. Usually my clients are lovely caring new owners and the pony has gone a bit feral. I have them on livery to sort the issue and then the always very keen, very invested family/rider has lessons alongside with me and then we join them back up. I’ve spoken to a lot of parents that are at the end of their tether and ashen from the stress and worry. Fortunately unless there’s a physical problem it’s an easy fix in about 4 weeks usually. Very rewarding as everyone’s a winner and knowing the pony is now playing ball
and the kids have learnt skills that they will use with their next pony etc. The stress comes from fully investing time and money into a full on hobby and the frustration of not being able to enjoy it. It’s never a complaint about it taking up too much time or commitment. I do acknowledge however that sending a pony away for schooling and then bespoke training isn’t in everyone’s budget.

My advice would be to take the equivilant of me with you to view ponies in your area. Know your budget, make sure the pro knows how capable your daughter is because they’ve seen her ride and accept that first ponies are likely to be outgrown both physically and skills wise and to be practical about it as much as you can.