Should I encourage DD7 to get into riding?

[Traintothebeach]

DD7 has mentioned horse riding but mainly because a school friend is horse mad and she tends to copy her friends still.

I don’t know whether to encourage her or put her off?

I used to ride as a child then rode again between the ages of 30-35 so I know a bit about horses and would happily spend time around stables if DD got into it. Would be nice for us to have a shared interest.

I know it’s expensive but we could make it work financially (although we would not be in the just buy her a pony and stick it on full livery brigade!)

Hit me with the pros and cons! Thank you

Personally, I’d start with lessons at a riding school for her to learn how to ride, many offer pony days/club etc, then progress to finding a share pony that she can learn further on and will semi feel like it’s her own, when she has been through a few winters and still very much into horse riding, only then I would consider financing her own pony.

As a life long horse owner, currently devoted to my ex racehorse who’s now also helping teach my 12 year old horse-mad niece to ride, I would say no, and I’ve surprised myself with that! It’s incredibly expensive (and costs only ever go up), time consuming, physically and mentally tiring. It’s getting harder and harder to have a horse/horses in modern life - land to keep them on is at premium, places (livery yards, riding stables etc) to keep them at are disappearing, roads are increasingly dangerous to ride on but bridleways are very few and far between. Even if you do find a nice, safe, healthy horse/pony (and buying such a creature is no mean feat), you’re then likely to be at the mercy of livery owners and/or fellow liveries who can make horse owning even more stressful with yard politics, bitching, strange rules and ideas about horse-keeping that can be forced on you. Then there’s the physical aspect; years of falls and horse-related accidents and the accompanying mucking out, lifting and carrying heavy awkward loads (water buckets, bags of feed etc) have left me with increasing pain and various long term issues and scars.
Be warned - starting at a riding school could be a slippery slope to financial, physical and mental breakdown!

As a mum of a few and horse mad I would say go for it if you can afford it great exercise for the kids and keeps them off the computers and phones lol

Don't buy her a horse! Start her off with riding lessons and stable management lessons at a BHS approved yard. Make her go in depths of winter etc. Then after couple of years when she has shown commitment think about buying a horse.

A decent mother/daughter share will cost you best part of 10K now (for a reliable, safe all-rounder type of horse). Then you are looking at livery costs between 150-400 per month on top of everything else.
I've just retired mine but when he was in work, competing etc I was spending £600-800 per month all in.

My 14yo has been riding since she was about 10. she loves it. It’s good for her and she rides at a great stables where she can go and help out so it’s good for her socially too. She also loans a horse 3 days a week.
interestingly as much as she loves it she has said that she doesn’t want her own horse (not that we could afford one financially or time wise) as it’s such a big commitment.

it costs us about £200 a month for her bit more sometimes if she does a competition or has a couple of riding lessons

fyi full livery costs at the yard we are at is about £600. Obviously food and vet bills etc on top

I didn't when my DD asked, my finances are already stretched, and a friend from uni had a life changing injury coming off a horse. Five years on and DD no longer asks.

It's hard to make a call as you're weighing up cold hard cash against life experiences.

DD wanted to ride when she was 5 and had lessons on and off until she was 11 when we started loaning a pony at the local riding schools. 7 years later, we've 2 competition horses and a full diary. I would say (apart from the crippling cost) that it has been absolutely worth it for my introverted DD.

Yesterday for example she helped out at pony club camp all day, finishing off her bronze youth leader requirement. Then she schooled a tricky pony for a friend. Without that she'd have been inside all day in her room.

It's given her confidence, resilience and a sense of self through tricky teenage years, working through various tests and qualifying for competitions. More importantly, she's part of a community of like minded friends of all ages locally, which has incidentally provided 2 part time jobs so far. I honestly can't see that this would have happened otherwise as she is happy in her room unless with the horses.

I’d let her have some lessons but I wouldn’t dash out and buy a pony for a good few years . Our eldest rode from being able to sit up because we had a Shetland at home , the younger one started at 4 at riding school as the Shetland had died and our eldests second pony was not suitable . Fortunately they both gave up after a couple of falls otherwise we would have ended up with a herd as we don’t sell on . The aforementioned unsuitable for beginners pony is now 32 having had a very long retirement . My sister and I got our first horse when I was 10/11 and we rode from 4/5 yo

Thanks all

Just to clarify I was thinking riding lessons - definitely not looking to buy a pony

I suspect that there are lots of adult riders who started out as pony mad little girls, perhaps like your daughter, and didn’t necessarily end up going down the route of having their own ponies as children.

I probably first sat on a pony when I was roughly 8, but didn’t start having regular lessons until about 10. I had been desperate to ride because my mum had a friend who was an excellent rider, and I wanted to be just like her. I rode for 4 years or so until the place I went to stopped offering lessons. I returned to riding when I was in my late 20s, and have ridden ever since.

As a very shy child, who was not at all sporty, riding helped me find an activity that I could enjoy. And I am still good friends with one of the girls I rode with all those years ago.

I was desperate for my own pony as a child, and last year finally fulfilled my childhood dream by getting my own horse at the age of 51. I’m so grateful to my parents for letting me try riding as a horse -mad child, when we were not a horsey family. Horses have brought me so much over the years.

Perhaps your daughter won’t enjoy it at all, but maybe she will, and letting her have some lessons will give her a skill that will bring her enjoyment throughout her life, as it has done for me, and lots of other riders.

Then do it but make sure you go to a good BHS yard. One that does kids stable management lessons too ideally.

DD is 13 and has spent this week camping in a field with Pony Club. Its meant she has a group of friends outside of school and is outdoors in all weather's instead of stuck in her room etc. She's making memories for life and learning resilience, patience and guts.

Just be aware of how quickly it can get expensive!

As a mum of 2 horsey DC I’d agree with what @twistyizzy said. It’s super expensive but so worth it. My DC have also just finished camp. I couldn’t really afford to put 2 through weekly lessons so we started with a share and I taught them to ride myself. Couple of years down the line I bought a very cheap pony for them to share just to hack about on - turns out he’s rather good and the next thing I know I’m forking out 2 X pony club memberships, 2 X camp fees, pony racing association memberships, showing club memberships, entry fees X2 for showjumping and XC/eventing the latter of which is extra pricey especially for a single parent who doesn’t earn a huge amount however the benefit it’s had to my children is worth every penny. One was already fairly confident with friendships but not so much with speaking out or feeling put on the spot. This has changed and she’s so so confident now. DD2 was really socially awkward and lacked confidence. She now has a whole host of new likeminded friends that’s helped her confidence grow and now makes friends easily in all parts of her life, she’s the horsey girl at school that is getting all her friends in to it now and is such a confident girl in general. I’d let her have the lessons. You’ll soon figure out if she’s just going along with the crowd or genuinely horse mad where it’s worth the commitment tenfold imo

Do it. I teach at an ABRS approved riding school and see so many children come through. Some are pony mad. They come to lessons, activity days, own a pony days, competition days and volunteer as helpers. Some just come to their lesson every other week. All of them enjoy what they do and what they get out of it. Some start and then it’s not for them. But you won’t know until you try. Just make sure your DD gels with the instructor - see if you can maybe do taster lessons as every instructor doesn’t suit every rider.