DH wants horses

[Dreamingohorses]

I would like some advice. For years my DH has been dreaming of owning a house where he can have horses of his own. He used to ride as a teenager and loved cross country but never had a horse of his own. Since I have known him (20 odd years) he has only however ridden on the odd occasion and tells me it is not the same riding someone else's horse. I have occasionally booked him a riding lesson as a gift but he never wanted to keep them up and said they were a waste of money as he didn't have his own horse and would rather save his money to fund this.

Anyway 5 years ago he announced that in the next 5 years we would be moving to somewhere with land so he could have his own horses. Over the 5 years he has worked hard and saved up enough money (around £400k in ISAs) to fund the extra this would cost and now the 5 years are up he wants to move.

However my concern is that he is seeing the whole horse idea through rose tinted specticles and I will end up being the one doing the day to day grind of sorting them out. In fact when I mentioned to him what a tie they are he said not to worry as there 'are always local people in the village happy to help out for free riding'. I said to him he should try helping out at a local stables or doing a horse share to see what it is like first but he would not even contemplate the idea.

I am wondering whether I should just let him go for it or not (he clearly needs to get it out of his system) but it could potentially be a very costly mistake as we would loose all the ISA tax advantages plus we are looking at over £100k in stamp duty. AIBU in putting my foot down and blocking this move?

£400k in ISAs over five years?

Has he got them in four people's names?

I’m horsey. Had one since I was 10 and still have one today age 41.

From a help with care for holidays etc point of view there are lots of freelance grooms around and I find getting the horse care cover easier than for the dog.

Having my own land at home was always the dream but I had the horse instead and so all my money went there. My hubby would not have been keen when we were younger but would be up for it now just for the space it would give us. You will need to find somewhere you both love tho that you would live in with or without horses.

What worries me about your post though is that your DH doesn’t have the experience to care for a horse. They aren’t straight forward animals to care for. I’ve spent over 30 years around horses. Until about 3 years ago I was always on livery yards with other horse owners. Asking other horse owners questions when deciding on care is the corner stone of learning to care for your horse. Add to that each horse is different and you spend a lot of time adapting your stable management to keep them well.

Will he know how to poultice a hoof if the horse gets an abscess? Will he recognise the symptoms of colic quick enough for it to be sufficiently treated? Will he know if his horse is lame? What will he feed the horse? What type of horse will he be looking to purchase? Will he have it vetted and if so will that be a 2 star or 5 star? Will the horse live in at night or live out 24/7? What bedding will he use?

Honestly with the level of his experience it’s a minefield!

It would be but it’s not always an option and honestly you’d still have the other liveries which is really the main reason for wanting them at home.

I am with @maxelly and the others, we have 2 riders at home and 3 horses on our own land not attached to the house. That is over 7 acres and a huge amount of responsibility and work. I owned and rented at livery for over 20 years and did BHS training as a working pupil before getting my first loan. One horse alone is likely to get very stressed. It my opinion having one on its own isn't worth the stress and work and cost of setting up a yard. Our land costs hundreds to maintain. This month I have a £600+ bill for winter fence repairs, £200 in hay, £350 for muck heap removal and ditch digging. Yesterday I was doing yard work and organising for 5 hours moving horse's pasture, getting hay delivered and dealing with some weeds and catching up with poo picking as today out all day at competition. That is higher as in dry weather get these machinery jobs done but still. There aren't lots of people prepared to work well for rides and you are unlikely sensibly to be happy letting anyone ride your precious horse as risk injury/ messing up their training or attitude to work. Winter is a massive challenge invariably involving sorting out horses after or before work in the dark and bad weather at some point. It is lovely too but it is a massive life challenge. Your DH needs more understanding of what looking after a horse actually entails, moving to a new area and looking for help once set up is not a great idea as horse people are massively busy. Another vote for the livery yard, full livery with a competent yard owner happy to arrange riding out together and training the horse as well as help choosing the right horse will be needed for this complete novice horse owner....

If you'll pardon the obvious pun - hubby is being very blinkered! Horses are a lot of work, need to be exercised, fed, cleaned out etc, etc. Not to mention costs - feed, vet bills, farriers and so forth. How does he plan to do all this? OP needs to make it clear that this is HIS dream not hers and he is solely responsible for everything and that she will not be doing any of it. Oh, and don't forget needing a 4 x 4 to tow the horse box and the associated costs for those! The list is endless!