To wonder how to afford horse and children? Feeling trapped...

[HazelShark]

I am late 20s and starting to think about children. DH is happy with whatever i want to do.

I have one horse on part livery in the South East. All in costs ~800/month. She is intermittenly lame and very sensitive so i cant get a sharer to help with costs.

I am really starting to worry about our future finances and how we will afford a child/children + a horse + life, particularly with my loss of income (or alternatively massive childcare fees) once we are parents.

I could never sell my horse but shes only 14 so has another 10 years left in her (hopefully)

I feel so trapped and quite panicky about the whole thing. I am starting to feel so guilty by saddling our family (no pun intended) with such a financial burden.

How do you make it work?

if they are not fit for the job the kindest thing is to put them down
Im not sure anyone has actually said this , all of my horses and ponies have had a lovely retirement and we still have a 33 yr old field ornament on full livery ( she needs a stable at night) however it has to be said that if you literally cannot afford to maintain your horse and he / she has health issues which mean loaning / sharing etc cannot work it is kinder to pts than some of the alternatives .

If she is field sound, I agree with others who have suggested retirement livery. You should be looking at around £200 pcm for that, so more affordable, and there may well be places that deal with daily care too. She will probably have to be barefoot so your farrier costs will be lower too. What’s the lameness problem? If it’s something like arthritis she could benefit from living out and constantly moving around gently.

@tinyspiny I was quoting a previous post. But completely agree with you, better to do the right thing if you can’t afford care. However I think a lot of people have a different bar for what they can afford for a ridden horse vs a non ridden one. Sounds like that isn’t the case for your oldies 🥰

Could you put her on DIY and pay an independent groom to cover one end of the day?
I have 3 children, 3 horses and a full time job but managed and am now coming out the other end... I used to take my baby to the stables with me in a sling or asleep in the car parked in the yard where I could see her. I loved mat leave... It was harder in someways when I went back to work but I used to go up early leaving the baby with dad and be home for the school run/breakfast club then head to work. I'd stop at the yard either on my way home at 5 or after they'd gone to bed at night. I was lucky that their dad could do the school pick up, otherwise I'd've done all of the jobs in the mornings and paid someone to bring in. Its a busy life but you get used to it. Being able to get out and have some me time was invaluable and my DH really enjoyed the solo dad time.

Can you put her on full loan as a companion home? You would then usually only need to cover the costs of her insurance. I’m shocked at £800 though. I pay £280 for full livery. Her hard feed costs me £40 a month and I pay £45 every 6 weeks for a huge hay bale. She has a part loaner who comes and rides 4 times a week and pays £140 a month.