Tips on building my riding confidence

[UniqueShaker]

Not sure if I’ve posted on the right section. Hopefully sport forum is ok.

So I’m a complete beginner (horse riding). I’ve only had 3 lessons so far but I’m hoping for some tips on the things I am struggling with.

My first lesson consisted of trotting, steering, standing up etc and I had a taste of what is to come. It was great. I ached for days after though! I noticed that I struggled with steering and standing up confidently, which made trotting quite difficult. Throughout the lesson I was also clinging on to the reins and constantly adjusting the way I held them and bringing the horse to a stop as I was pulling on them.

I had a bit of a break before my second lesson with a different instructor and I told her that I wanted to take baby steps, really focus on my confidence, my balance etc. She is really patient and I’ve decided to stick with her as my instructor.

I’ve now got a couple of lessons booked in - 30 mins a week to get comfortable. Currently I feel that the horse is in control of me and I need the instructor at the side of me at all times.

My current issues are:

When I try and stand my positioning and balance isn’t great - mainly when the horse is walking. I end up standing, the stirrups end up moving forwards and I end up sitting back down on the horse. My instructor said the way I sit back down is good, I’m in control of that but standing for any period of time while the horse is walking I need to work on. She’s tried to get me to remove my hands from the saddle and place them on the horses shoulders to stop me from using my hands to sit up and clinging on to the saddle for dear life! and instead try and use my legs but it seems I’m struggling with this part. My legs are just all over in the stirrups.

I really want to crack this so I can try and work on getting to steering the horse and feeling more confident. But I just can’t seem to get my balance right. Is there any tips for me to work on next week?

We’ve talked about independent seat. This all makes sense. And I definitely feel I was sat more comfortably - less stiff and tense than last week that’s for sure.

However, by the time it came to getting off of the horse I went in to a panic as I tried to lift my right leg up and it kept locking. I genuinely thought I’d have to accept that I’d be sat on the horse forever more lol! I definitely need to work on this too so that I aren’t just sliding down hoping that my legs don’t buckle when they hit the ground!

My legs also feel trembly for about 5 mins after riding...

I feel there is definitely something I can be working on and researching in preparation for my next lesson! I’m really trying to take the pressure off of my arms and apply more in my legs and core but maybe I’ve overdone that today with the trembly legs haha!

I really am determined to continue at this. My children have been riding since they were 3 and I’d love if I could do this with them as they get older. I’ve always wanted to do this.

I definitely feel I had a better lesson this week though. Instructor thought so too. Which makes me feel positive going forward. She was getting me to ride without stirrups and also keep my hands on my legs, or the horses shoulders etc to gain confidence and it’s definitely working for me.

Any tips really welcome!

Thank you

Ask for lunge lessons alternating with riding lessons so the focus is purely on your seat.
Pilates and specifically equi pilates is great for balance + stability. Work on a stability ball too
Ultimately though it comes down to time and repetition. Riding is hard and you never stop learning, thats what is so great about it. The more you learn the more you realise how much there is to learn.

To be honest lesson 3 is too soon to be rising trot imo

Core strength is pretty much the foundation of riding.
Focus on that out of the saddle and you'll be able to rise much easier.

Sounds like you're doing great OP after only a few lessons, it will come in time and with practice, things are slower when you're older but even kids don't always crack the balance and core strength needed to stand in the stirrups/ rising trot for a good few sessions. Agree that lunge lessons and/or some sessions on a mechanical horse if you have one anywhere near you would be great practice because then you don't have to worry about the reins and controlling direction and pace and can just focus on yourself. With the standing up, I wouldn't worry too much about how long you're able to hold it in walk as actually a lot of people find that harder than rising to the trot (which is a big milestone for the beginner rider). Not saying it's not a good thing to practice, it is, but you might get your rising up and down sorted before you can actually hold a stand properly. Not sure if your instructor has explained it like this to you but although we teach rising trot as 'stand up sit down' motion it's actually not a full stand and balance out of the saddle, it's slightly more subtle than that, almost more of an inclination of the hips upwards and allowing the motion of the horse's back to push you out of the saddle, then controlling the motion/bounce downwards so as to stay balanced, than you pushing yourself into a stand then sitting down. It might help if you can ask the teacher to pop a neck strap on the horse for you to hold onto, better that than balancing on the reins and it will keep your hands closer to the right position than holding the saddle...

It is mostly a case of hours in the saddle I’m afraid which is hard to fit in and expensive.
Obviously there are other exercises you can do which are complimentary. Swimming breast stroke is one as it uses your inner thigh muscle which is also used in riding but very little else.
Core and leg strength are important so Pilates and exercises like squats, lunges etc.
Then finally flexibility is important so yoga or general stretching.
As you get to faster paces fitness comes into play too so swimming, walking or running are helpful.
I think if you just ride once a week you will progress, but more slowly than if you can add in even 10 minutes per day of complimentary exercise.

I think you are doing way too much too soon. Focus on confidence in walk, sitting and rising trot. Then think about no stirrups etc unless you are on a lunge. Give it time!

I've not ridden for years now, due to disability, but used to compete and own horses. An instructor told me as a child learning that a great exercise to do at home is stand on the bottom step of the stairs, facing up, feet at shoulder width apart, with just the balls on your feet making contact, so heels drop down as they would in the stirrups. Then just practice balancing like that to find your centre of gravity and progress to bending knees and "practicing" rising trot. It really does help with balance and leg position.

Also agree with lessons on the lunge, as it takes away having to think about legs and hands at the same time. Sounds like you're doing really well for so few lessons! Keep it up :)

Learning to ride can take years. I have been riding for over 30 years and still have lessons and learn something new every time. After just a few lessons, what you are trying to achieve is quite advanced. Rising trot is quite hard to master and once you get it, it's like a ta dah! moment. As a PP said, you almost need to let the horse push you into a rise rather than consciously standing up. In time it will naturally happen and it is more a gentle push up from the hips rather than a full standing motion.

The only advice I can try and give is dismounting. I am not sure how tall the horse is but obviously if a biggish horse the ground is going to feel a long way down. The key thing from what you said is you tried to lift your right leg up, were you leaning right forward? I am older now and I dismount my 16.2hh horse (who feels huge to me when trying to dismount) like this. Both reins into left hand, both feet out of the stirrups, fold at the tummy and lean right forward over the neck, swing right leg/foot backwards over the back of horse and then slide to the ground. Once I get a bit fitter I more jump than slide but obviously only possible with good leg strength and no dodgy knees. You can use your free right hand to help you push off whilst swinging your right leg back and over.

Does that make any sense? I am not sure I have explained that very well!

It's just practice and building up muscle strength. You don't use those muscles usually. Its normal for them to ache. Wait till they teach you sitting trot. Then you'll know sore. But why are you standing up while the horse is walking? I've never known an instructor teach 2 point this early. Your stability isn't good enough yet, its too early when you don't even have basics down yet. I didn't do that until I started wanting to jump. You don't really need to ride standing until then.

Or do you mean you are rising up and down in walk to practice? If so, it is harder like that. Rising trot requires impulsion from the horse. That push upwards from the hind leg is helpful.

Trying to do it in walk or a really slow cba jog is absolutely exhausting. That's why people hate riding lazy horses, if they cba they make it really hard work.

For a third lesson it will be all about rising trot and control. Steering and trotting is hard. You'll get it though. It's like learning to drive when you're trying to steer and change gear at the same time. It's just a practice thing.

For rein control you need to hold them properly through your ring and little finger, thumbs on top. I'll attach a photo. Keep your elbows soft so as the horse moves you are giving and taking with them. You need to keep them the same length but let his head move. If you struggle to keep your hands still, loop your little finger loosely around a bit of mane if it's long enough.

To start with, you do feel a bit of a passenger. But that horse has probably taught hundreds of people to ride. He will look after you, trust him. You could ask to be on the lunge but that means smaller circles and honestly it's easier on straight lines. Maybe your instructor could run with you though?

Try really hard not to hold the saddle. If you're doing that, you're rounding your shoulders which makes you lean forward and throws your centre of gravity off. You have to sit up tall. Leaning forward immediately fucks your rhythm.

No stirrups is great for that. You have to just relax and look straight ahead. If trotting with no stirrups, don't try not to bounce. You'll just tense up and bounce more. Focus on just keeping your hips loose and bouncing level. Let your hips rock and absorb the movement. Shoulders like a queen, hips like a whore I think the saying goes.

I totally sympathise with the dismounting fear. My lesson horse is huge. Like over 6 ft just to his back. I just swing, cling and pray. 😆 My previous one was really sweet and would stop at the block for me if I was riding bareback and didn't have anything to grab but he's retired now.

From what you've described I think improving your core strength will make a huge difference.

I used to do so much yoga and Pilates and had good core strength. I used to do pole fitness and lots of swimming. I loved doing anything that was working on my core. 8 years and two kids later, minimal exercise and about 4 stone heavier i am so unfit!

We've recently been riding our bikes and having family bike rides and I can barely stand on the pedals without flopping back down. I wonder if practicing more when we're on the bikes could help with horse riding?

And sorry I'm not familiar with all the terms yet... is rising trot when the horse is actually trotting? Because what my instructor is getting me to do is just stand and hold my balance while the horse walks, rather than the up and down motion with the horse if that makes sense... and then when the horse moves I naturally just flop back down rather than staying balanced off the saddle.

Thank you!

And thanks this is so informative!

Fitness is key and echo what another poster said in regards to weekly lessons you won't see much progression if you aren't doing fitness + core work in-between.
Standing up in stirrups even in walk is hard and imo too advanced for a 3rd lesson. You simply won't have the balance to be able to do that hence the flopping back down.
If you can afford it then definitely book lunge lessons/mechanical horse for a few sessions.
Rising trot is when horse trots and you rise/sit in rhythm with the horse.

Yes you have explained very well! Thank you.

The horse I am riding is 16.3hh and feels absolutely mahoooosive! To the point that when I first got on and looked down I nearly got off and said I'm done! But I just naturally decided to look ahead and focus on my posture and within 5 mins I felt a lot more confident just sitting there and was so glad I just overcome that initial fear.

I was leaning forwards when dismounting but I think that my confidence when leaning forwards (it just feels so unnatural and unbalanced) and also how unfit I am is an issue when getting off. Not to mention the trembly legs haha! I wore joggers today but I am thinking of getting some breeches... I was wondering if this will help me feel a bit more comfortable and in control, rather than my joggers just sliding quickly down the saddle.

Do you think that what you wear makes a difference? I've been wearing Hunter wellies too and they have a small heel, but wondering if riding boots will help with the stirrups. Not to mention my toes absolutely freeze in wellies!

I also think on my next lesson I am going to do some gentle exercises beforehand to hopefully 'warm up' and not get stuck. I felt so clumsy! lol.

@twistyizzy thank you. That makes sense. They did rising trot on my very first lesson before I changed instructor and I absolutely ached liked crazy after. I then said I'd like to focus on the basics first to build my confidence and balance before doing that again. Maybe that's why they're trying to get me to stand and balance when the horse is walking.

My instructor said mechanics is one of her favourite things to teach so I think I'll have a discussion with her and I'm sure she can tailor my lessons for me.

I am definitely going to start exercising inbetween! I didn't realise that I had gotten so unfit!

@Balloonhearts

Thank you this is so informative! She's actually getting me to stand and hold my balance while the horse walks but I just flop back down. The stirrups go forwards and my bum goes backwards, and I find I have so much pressure in my arms trying to hold myself up.

What things do you think I should suggest to my instructor that would be beneficial to be teaching on my next lesson? It will then be my fourth.

I have a bio mechanics instructor who I also do unmounted exercises with and you will never get true balance on a horse until you are balanced on the ground hence equi pilates.
People always underestimate the level of fitness required to ride.
Definitely lunge lessons and work without stirrups in tandem with mounted lessons + fitness work but don't be in a rush. I've been riding for 40+ years and am still learning 😆

Sounds like you've found a good instructor with a background in biomechanics. I had an injury kast year and it's taken me months to regain fitness! You can't take it too slowly really, so you have to learn lots of patience, but you (and the horse) will be better for it in the long run.

Pelvic bridges are really great to strengthen your core and surrounding muscles, so a combo of those and squats daily inbetween lessons will be helpful to speed things up a bit. It may take a few weeks til you feel a difference but it's def worth persevering.

Yes so rising trot (or our American cousins call it posting) is the easiest and most comfortable way to ride a horse in trot, it's smoother and less bouncy for the rider (once you've got the hang of it) and is easiest on the horse's back - if you watch a slowed down video of a horse trotting you'll see how the rider lifts out of the saddle as the horse lifts its back, then gently sits as the horse puts its legs down, making themselves easier to carry and staying in balance. This video is quite helpful to illustrate or there are lots of others on YouTube...

It's not the only way to ride in trot, you will learn others once you have mastered rising, you can sit to the trot as well ('sitting trot') - this one looks when done well as though the rider is just sitting there doing nothing but in fact they are using their core and balance to keep their hips and seat rising and falling in time with the horse to avoid being bounced out of the saddle (which is what it will feel like the first time you try!) or crashing around on the horse's back like a sack of spuds. You will also eventually learn to stand up in your stirrups holding your weight entirely off the saddle in trot and canter, and to then take your seat forward into a two-point or jump position and to hold this for whole laps of the arena at a time. But for now mastering the rising trot along with stop, start and turning aids are your basics for a beginner rider to then be able to move on to more advanced stuff like sitting trot and canter.

But don't worry, I'm not surprised you are finding it difficult, most adults do the first few times, especially if you're on a not especially kind horse who needs a bit of leg to keep going in trot at the same time as you trying to get the rising going - I think that's probably your instructor's thinking behind trying to practice in walk first but (if going on the lunge isn't possible) if it was me I'd actually get you to try in halt or even on a saddle on a wooden horse, so as to not have to worry about where and at what speed the horse is going, also I would not be trying to get you to hold the stand part for any length of time as that will be exhausting for you when you don't have the strength yet, but rather practicing going from sitting to standing nice and quickly, get the instructor to count out the rhythm of the trot (up-down-up-down) and you try and keep up with the stand and sit in time with that. But like I say it is actually easier to 'get' while on the move as it's very unnatural to 'rise' to the walk or while still because the horse's back isn't going up and down in the same way...

Riding is something you can't rush, that's all part of the pleasure. However if you fail the key element of riding successfully - keeping the horse between you and the ground - it's useful to know how to roll away.

Karl Greenwood runs a one day course on how to fall like a pro and other confidence techniques - his horses (and house) are lovely!

@maxelly this is great! I was watching one of her videos earlier! Hadn't seen this one though. Thank you.

Fab! I was actually wondering about falling and how to fall 'safely' if you like. I was really surprised that this is something that isn't taught before you get on for the first time.

I think you will gain more confidence and hence more fun and enjoyment from taking things slower , I would want to have you in walk , steering and starting and stopping easily and confidently , taking your feet out of the stirrups and regaining them smoothly and efficiently without looking down or loosing your position or fumbling with your feet , I would have you drop your reigns , retake the reigns , shorten and lengthen then smoothly and quietly but efficiently , start putting then into one hand and then back into two hands , , adjusting your stirrups before and after mounting , leaving to check your girth , and tighten it then at the end of the lesson , loosen it and run up your stirrups , lead your horse in hand correctly , practice mounting and dismounting , before starting to trot .
when you start to trot , I would want to take away your reigns to start with and have one hand on the pommel gently pulling up , which will help you sit deeper in the saddle and help you keep your legs down and still , the first few lessons trotting are better taught sitting to help deepen your seat and establish your balance , this can be done either on the lunge or lead reign
you haven’t mentioned your height or weight , but if you are an average size then 16.3 really is a bit excessive, an ideal size would be a quiet well mannered cob of about 14.2 to 15.2 - these are usually the lifeblood of any decent riding school

It take hours and hours and hours to learn to ride. You need to develop your balance and your feel for a horse and this take time. I would suggest that alongside lessons you go out for hacks and trekking etc to give yourself much longer periods of time just sitting in the saddle and getting the feel for a horse and thinking about all that you have been taught. Riding outside of the school is very different to being in an enclosed area. By doing this you will also start to gain an understanding for horses in general and their behaviour etc which is all part of the process. Have fun!

This all sounds good and sounds like the perfect way to start off building my confidence. I'll bring this up with my instructor next week. As someone above said too trekking out of lessons all sounds ideal.

My height and weight is 5'6 and 12 stone. Do you think the horse is quite big or just right? I know the limit they set where I ride is 13 stone so maybe because I'm close to that it's the most appropriate horse for me?

Ok, so that's happening because you are trying to do it at a walk. It's easier to do it while trotting. Impulsion is the thing. As the hind leg comes forward he pushes you up and it makes for a much smoother motion. Without that little assist, you're relying solely on your own strength to get up and down which you won't have yet.

Trying to just stand and walk around is pointless at this stage. You won't have the muscle to do it and if you're leaning forward at all to hold on you'll just flop back down. For your position try getting a dressage whip, the school should have one and slip it through your elbows behind your back. Try to keep it there while walking. Makes you sit upright in correct position. Like the equine version of books on the head.

Some horses have bouncier trots than others. My first partner was 16.3 and a showjumper so he was quite powerful in the rear. Gave him a super springy gait and when he retired I went through a few weeks of having to get my strength up because although the new horse was actually bigger at 18.2 and had a long stride, he moves more smoothly and I didn't have that big assist out of the saddle. However on the bright side, I could downgrade from scaffolding to a sports bra!

12 stone is fine. I was 17 stone when I started, although I dropped it quickly and yes you will be limited to horses. You're a bit on the tall side for even a cobby pony, you'd have your knees up round your ears. Most schools have more smaller horses and ponies than big buggers. They mostly teach kids and lighter adults and big horses eat a lot but some competition barns will have bigger horses. I think his size is good for you on paper.

You will ache like crazy but only the first couple of times, once those muscles get used to being worked you'll be fine.

I think you should just bite the bullet and trot. You'll progress faster. You'll go a few weeks totally out of rhythm, bouncing all over and letting out pathetic groans every time you sit down because your legs hurt but it will click faster. Trying to do it in a walk doesn't work, you don't have the momentum.

What's your horse like personality wise? Friendly? Do you trust him? Could you spend some time brushing him and getting to know him after lessons? It'll give you confidence and help you bond. I loved the bones of my first lesson buddy, spent hours grooming him and learning to lunge him, even had races with him sometimes (he cheats) and am quickly bonding with my second partner despite him being, well, him!

I can only theorise that at some point I got extremely drunk and expressed a wish for the world's biggest dick and was duly sent 18 hands of pure knobhead or possibly he was sent as retribution for wrongdoings on a cosmic scale. But I do love him. And he is hilarious.

As for falling, try not to! But if you do, don't hold on to the reins and try to roll away from the horse so he doesn't accidentally step on you. Most school horses will stop dead if they deck a rider and will actively try to move under you if they think they're losing you but just in case they don't, always roll away. And unless you have limbs hanging off or a spinal injury, get straight back on and do it again otherwise you get nervous next time.