Need help with my loaner

[Winter20245]

Ive had a loaner (12yr old) for about 6 weeks now for my pony.
All was going well but now I feel like she is zooming her around the menage in canter all of the time. I have been quite relaxed about her riding but the past couple of weeks it is starting to grate on me.
Tonight I have found out that the loaners mum rode her (she doesnt even ride!) and my pony was hit with a leadrope to make her go forward (she isnt very forward) and then she cantered off and the Mum fell off.
I am livid but dont want to over react.
I just need some help with what to do....?

I'm afraid I would be ending the agreement.

Your pony your rules
If they're ignoring your wishes then get rid, some people are menaces and won't change
6 weeks in and messing around like that doesn't bode well...

Thank you.
I am a generous person and don/t want to over react but this is my pony and she is not a free for all.
The Mum hasnt replied to be, I messaged to say if im honest I am disappointed I wasnt asked.

Stop the agreement and tell them why . It is not over reacting , unfortunately this is the problem with a lot of children that have only had riding lessons and have irresponsible or un knowledgeable parents all they want to do is canter and jump and things like warming up and being considerate to the pony is not given a thought .

Your pony must come first and doesn't deserve this abuse.
Have strong words with your loaner / mother. If things don't change immediately then terminate the loan.
Unfortunately, for me , all trust would be gone and I wouldn't have time to monitor them all the time

I would terminate the agreement and tell them exactly why.
I have a sharer for my current mare and have had sharers for various of my horses for a decade or so.
I find the best way for success is set out your expectations/boundaries from day dot. A huge one of mine is no one but the sharer rides, I don't care if the friend who wants to ride is a complete beginner or AP McCoy, it's a no.
It's also ok to set out what is acceptable for the sharer to do ridden wise, for me when my current sharer started I wasn't happy for her to hack alone apart from a route round the farm as she was very skittish with cyclists, now she's more confident and my sharer knows her better I'm far more laid back about what they do, so these goalposts can move over time but it's far easier to start being quite "strict" and get more relaxed over time than try to add rules.

End the agreement. In future make sure any child who loans your pony has a responsible and ideally horsey mother. There are good kids out there, maybe look via the pony club?

I regret not being tougher in a similar situation. There are many young people out there who will warm your pony up properly, ride it sensibly, try out of their skin to do the stable management correctly and have a parent supporting them to do so. Your pony deserves someone like this.

I agree, unfortunately this family could hurt your horse or damage its training. I heard of a ridiculous incident regarding 'teaching' a horse to rear with a lunge whip. I wonder where the insurance would sit if the loaner tried to make a claim and what the yard insurance says....

Stop the loan right now.

Personally I wouldn't even entertain anyone under 16 near my pony without a knowledgeable parent. They just don't understand the consequences. My 14 year old is great and highly responsible but she's had it drummed in to her from a young age. 11 year old is much more of a loose cannon and needs an eye kept and strict reminding. That's with me always teaching her. I don't think you can expect your average pre teen without a horsey parent to really understand or act differently

I would be looking for other loaners if you don't get a decent response, and current loaners aren't open to setting some boundaries with you. I have part loaners my pony for a while now. He's a first ridden sort, so we tend to get kids out of the local riding school, and eventually they outgrow him and move on. They are usually fantastic, and keen to learn. The last two have had non horsey parents, but they've been more than happy to work with me and learn how I want things doing. I absolutely wouldn't stand for my pony being treated like a toy though. There are plenty of kids who would take your current loaners place and treat your pony with respect too!

I think the fact that they haven’t even replied to say sorry says it all.

I would terminate the agreement without notice- maybe if you are feeling generous allow the child to come up and say goodbye to the pony with supervision.

If the mum was seriously hurt, you could all end up in a complicated legal position- I would explain this, and also explain to the mum that if the pony had caused damage to property or another person during this incident she could potentially also be liable.

If you try a loan again in the future, I'd make it very clear no-one is to ride without your consent, and insist on supervising any first rides! And for an under 16, I'd definitely want a competent, knowledgeable adult involved (it wouldn't have to be a parent, I'd accept an older sibling, or other relative) but I'd want someone competent supervising- IMO a 12yo isn't competent to cope alone in an emergency regardless of how experienced they are.