If you have young kids how do you make it work?

[Nespressso]

Would be really interested if anyone could tell me their routine and if they are DIY or assisted livery, and how they fit it in around kids and school run. I have a 2 yo and a 4 yo children who both still require intense intervention to get them ready for school etc and can’t imagine how my one manages to have the time to actually get to the yard. I had horses as a child/teen and am having regular lessons now. I’d love to do a loan or share but can’t figure out how to make it work at the moment. Would love to hear from those with young kids what their schedule is

Not me but a friends who do, it only really works if you have a partner who's willing/available to watch the kids while you're at the yard.
Otherwise understandably, most yards for h&s reasons wouldn't be happy with this. Babies who can stay in prams/pushchairs are one thing but once they are mobile it's a disaster.
I've got sharers for mine and I'm sorry but I wouldn't consider someone who would be bringing 2 small children to the yard, it's a recipe for disaster

With great difficulty is the answer! I really think it's near impossible to have kids that age, a horse on assisted or DIY livery and to actually enjoy said horse and said kids, particularly if you have any kind of job as well, particularly particularly in winter with mud and dark and being in overnight and mucking out and so on. I gave up having my own until all my kids were at school and even then I had the ponies on full livery, and assistance with the kids, and a very understanding/supportive/long suffering husband, and even so it was a struggle at times, not so much to keep the horses and kids looked after, they were always fed and safe, but to make time to ride often enough to justify having the horse without feeling like I was sacrificing too much family time/money or compromising my marriage! I do know people that make it work with kids a horse and a job but they usually work very part-time, have the horse on full livery and/or have hardcore childcare (full time nanny) and/or very involved close family too.

Sorry to be negative, I think a share could be the way forward for you, I'd be looking at a share of a horse that is on full livery through the winter at least, on a yard with nice facilities including a floodlit area to ride in the dark, for maybe 2 days a week at first to account for the fact costs will be higher if you're not doing chores. Then I wouldn't even try and ride in the mornings unless you have a partner or nanny that can take that off your hands entirely on horse mornings. I'd ride in the evenings after work or daytimes if you aren't working, or weekends if you can leave the kids with their dad or family. I Def wouldn't want to be burdening myself with extra chores with kids that age, I'd want all horsey time to be riding time pretty much, as it is all you think about some days with pre-schoolers is dealing with poo and getting them fed, why would you spend extra hours a day picking up more poo 💩 and stuffing haynets to feed an extra mouth!

@maxelly thats a really sensible answer, thank you and I know you are right. I don’t really have any help except paid childcare, altho my work might be flexible enough.

I guess full livery is the answer - I was trying to figure out how people went before the school run and got the kids ready as post school run wouldn’t be until at least half 9…. And I couldn’t really go out in the evenings after dinner etc.

I know it seems a stupid question it’s just that some people do seem to manage. I will continue plodding on for now but sadly getting bored of riding school ponies!

also I never meant I’d bring the smalls to the yard - I just meant for going up in the morning, it would have to be after half 9ish whereas when I had my horses before (luckily in my own land- don’t live there anymore) I’d be up at 6.30/7am. I couldn’t manage twice a day.

I just see / hear about all these wee children (4yo/ 5yo ) already in pony club etc with their own ponies and I’d love to get her involved but just don’t know how people do it!!

It does get easier though, much much easier. By the time your youngest is 4/5 the intensity of their neediness has dropped and your childcare costs usually reduce and it does make having own pony much more do-able.

Not saying it's easy, you do still need your DH to step up and do some school runs and/or sole care of the kids while you are at the yard, and realistically it's very hard to make time unless you have horse on at least part livery if not full and/or some good wraparound childcare or are part time or a SAHM. It's still a huge huge commitment and really does eat into your family life and family finances (I could really only justify it in my case when the kids were small because they loved riding and the ponies too, eldest especially) but it's not as impossible to balance as when you have a toddler. Do keep your eye out for a share in the meantime though!

My mum got us up very early and took us to the stables before school. Wasn't optional and she did it from our births... (i have two older brothers)

My dad never lifted a finger with child care and my mum had 3 children, two horses on DIY and worked full time. Wonder woman!

My friend actually takes her son to the yard before school everyday too, as have other friends. a case of the children slipping in to the routine rather than the routine fitting around the children i guess. Theres a couple of children at the farm by 7am every day, sometimes even getting a ride on their pony in before school

We moved our 3 onto full livery when I was pregnant with our first child , I still visited at least daily but that was easier even when the children tagged along .

I’ve done it, I had two horses when I got pregnant and since then have always had between two and four which became ponies when my dc wanted to ride. I still have the horse I had when I got pregnant with 16 year old my ds.
The big but is that I have my own small yard. So when they were newborns they were asleep in a pram or car seat when I did checks. The horses had to live out so I could do quick checks and spend longer when DH had the dc.
Then once they could toddle they had their own small mucking out tools and would ‘help’. I had play equipment at the yard in a separate horse free area so they could get involved or amuse themselves within my sight.
Once at school I did a quick morning check with them either in the car on my yard drive or helping me if they wanted to. One ended up horse mad but the other isn’t remotely interested.
Lots of my new mum friends had things they wanted to get back to like weekends away with their partners or getting their hair/nails done. All I ever wanted was to keep my horses so that is what I have prioritised.
In your situation I would keep up the lessons and look out for a share that will fit the time you have. If you are a decent lightweight rider you may find someone who just wants their horse exercised.

Some yards do services so you could get them either fed/hayed in the morning before you could get there or else turned out for you.
They can sit in a pushchair with a snack or else potter around and help with their own little tools.
It's not hugely easy but it's definitely doable and it gets easier as they get older. You just kind of make it work because you need to.
Is your kids dad around to help at all? If so then could you look for a part loan to fit in with his/your schedule?
I'd probably try to pop in at yard before school even just to feed/turn out if no one was available to help but lots of times on yards people group together to help each other out on a kind of rota.
Then after school/nursery drop off pop back and do the jobs/ride and get everything ready.
After picking up kids go and get the horse in then go home.
It can totally be done.

Hello I have 4 and 5 year old boys & own my gelding at a local DIY. I’m a single working mum, so luxury’s of a partner to watch the kids so I can go do horses!
I manage well but am meticulous with being organised and on time. Kids are up with me early doors doing feed & turn out, then back up after school. I ride on my days I have off whilst they are in school, twice & possibly once or compete at the weekend with the kids in tow/playing in sandschool.
I actually think it’s great for the kids to be around horses and up the stables, the benefits are huge. Would I recommend it though? No, I would wait until they’re older. I think you always stretched & I feel I can never give my all to one or the other. I appreciate this may be different if I wasn’t on my own. Where there’s a Will there’s a way, you can make it work.

Really depends on the yard and on your and the individual horses schedule! Lots of yards offer assisted diy so they will feed and turn out for example, then you could go up after school run to muck out and ride. My pony and his friends live out so 9.30 would be ok unless it was frosty/ snowy. We also share all the jobs among us so if someone is up early before work and feeds/hays them all someone else up later after a school run could refill nets, poo pick etc. Some will be on full livery so you can just rock up any time and ride. You'd need to know the exact circumstances of a share before you could work out how to fit it in to your day

I make it work by making them work! One is dispatched to refill the hay net, another for a fork and barrow, DC3 is sent to amuse DC4 who is too young to be particularly useful but old enough to get into trouble if unattended. Usually I give them the hose and tell them to fill the water bucket. Horse is huge and hose is crap so that takes a while. Horse also likes to drink from hose so he entertains them for a bit while I change his rug.

It can be done but I think you need to have the right set up. I have 3 children aged 2, 3 and 5 and two ponies. When I had them on DIY it was extremely difficult, I always felt I had to apologize to the other liveries if the kids were being loud/getting in the way. Then I moved them to a field round the corner from my house (with a small hay barn/hard standing area) which is about a hundred times better!. The ponies live out, the kids love coming down with me and climbing/making forts out of hay bales. Everything can be done on my own schedule and if one day I am short on time they are fine in the field just with a quick check. I ride when they are in childcare or on the weekend (sometimes I take one of the kids with me on the lead rein) or we all go on a ride as a family taking it in turns to ride/walk.

You get up really early and dh looks after his kids while you do the horses.

Similarly in the evenings. It will take you away from home for a few hours a day so this does require a discussion with DH to see whether you agree it's a fair split of time.

This also means that the stables time is probably your only child free time. I'm happy with that but you may have other properties.

Lots of kids on my yard just left feral. There are lots of granny types who are very happy to entertain some little kids whilst their mum goes to the field but it's still dangerous, the kids just wander around talking to people and no one seems to be keeping track.

Not helpful I know, but I think it’s easier if you already have the horse/horses as then you’re naturally inclined to just fit your children around the horses.

I have 3 horses, fortunately at home which certainly makes it easier to some degree (if you ignore all the maintenance, field prep etc.) When I was pregnant with DD we muddled through our usual routine which was tough going in the 3rd trimester/newborn days. This time around we’ve turfed them out 24/7 for a winter break and don’t plan to bring them back in until a couple of months after #2 is born, when my youngster will go back on schooling livery to get him back up and running again before I hop back on.

DD has always had to fit around the horses, so I was mucking out with her in a sling in the early days and parking her in her pushchair outside the arena whilst I lunged or schooled. She’s now nearly 2 and adores the horses, helps mix feeds/wash & carry buckets/put hay out etc. I am incredibly lucky that DH also happily mucks in, I absolutely couldn’t juggle it all without his support.

The other thing I’ve learnt is to lower my ambitions/cut myself some slack. Pre-kids I’d be out competing most weeks and riding 6 days a week, whereas now I just hop on where I can, and if they end up with an unplanned week off as everyone got sick or no one’s slept, who cares?! It’s not been an easy adjustment, but it was a necessary one. I know as the kids get older I’ll have more time (partly why I bought a youngster just after I had DD) and console myself with that when I’m feeling grumpy I don’t have more time to play ponies.