Having jitters about over horsing

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Dd(11) currently riding a 12 Hh cob as an all rounder at Pony club along with lots of hacking. She confidently completes a 60cm course, does the odd dressage/ WH class etc. I would say she is a competent rider for her age, fairly confident but perhaps a little easily distracted. Looking for her next pony with the idea that she’d keep her pony alongside for a year whilst she gets to know the new one. Tried a 14.2 Connie only 6 but coming from a genuine home known to us and is very chilled. Forward but with brakes. Dd is probably average height for her age and I would say she rode well in the viewing, confidently riding and jumping but without the collection that the current owner rode with. I think our PC instructor thinks we’re over horsing her. Her other instructor says she won’t advance in her riding without moving on. We’re not a very competitive family but dd does love SJ and wants to do more. That’s great but we want her to continue having fun and don’t want to knock her confidence by being over horsed. Thoughts would be appreciated 😊

Hmm, hard to say - if you trust your instructor and s/he has seen her ride the new pony and is happy then that's great, but it's one thing saying 'she needs to move on' and this being the right pony to move onto, IYSWIM, so I'd def want your main instructor's blessing.

I do love connies (have one myself) and they make super teenagers ponies, but they aren't always the easiest and 6 is still young, plus 14.2 is a substantial step up from 12hh and probably will feel very different so I do get the overhorsing concern. Has the pony done the PC circuit with a child roughly your DD's age or have they mainly been ridden by adults or older teens? If the former that's reassuring, the latter maybe a bit concerning. In an absolutely ideal world I would probably want your DD to have an interim step for a year or 2, probably a ~13.2 older, been there done that schoolmaster but more forward going and with more scope, a classic 2nd pony, really get her going over some slightly bigger and more technical courses if SJ is the aim, get her confidence up before you're effectively asking her to teach a green-ish pony on something that she's new to herself. It's not that an 11year old is incapable of riding a 6 year old pony successfully but if you are hoping for fairly quick results in terms of stepping up you might have to be prepared to take it more slowly and expect some setbacks along the way. However I do appreciate that 13.2 schoolmasters don't grow on trees and you probably don't want all the hassle of buying a new pony only for her to outgrow and be ready to move on in a year, the connie would certainly have more longetivity and could potentially see her all the way through her teens so ideal in that respect.

Sorry to only articulate the issue and not really offer a solution!

As ever... maxellys reply is brilliant.
Lots of people love Connie's, I'm not the biggest fan, they are very clever but I think they are a bit border collie esque, if it's not used properly they can get very sharp.

I think a lot of people find horses rideable at home and get them back and with a more novice rider/handler start to really struggle.

Have you done your due diligence?
So firstly you get owners permission to speak to their vet. I once viewed a pony and when I asked if pony had seen their vet was told “only for vaccinations”. It turned out he had been worked up for lameness and x rayed. Be warned some people use one vet for vaccines and another for other issues but their body language can tell you a lot when you ask these questions.
Then you check any claims they make about the experience the pony has. If they claim a competition record you should be able to look this up online. Friend them on Facebook as lots of horsey people talk about their horse in positive and negative ways.
If they have an instructor you ask to talk to them. They will be loyal to their client but if they don’t answer direct questions you can read between the lines.
Finally as you want to do pony club you need a pony that has done that. Camp in particular is a big ask for any pony. Find out what pony club they are with and contact them for a reference. If you are advised to have the pony vetted that is code for don’t touch it with a barge pole. You can contact the DC, chief instructor or both. If the pony is relatively local you may find one of your own pony club instructors has come across them before at area events.
Don’t just buy from one viewing, do some digging and ask about a trial. Some will let you take the pony for a limited time. Others will let you bring your instructor to their yard, take the pony to a rally or competition etc If they refuse any kind of trial or say they have others lined up to view let the pony go.
Finally with such a young pony I would be wary if they have been carrying an adult or larger teen. Also would not want them to have jumped too high. Natives continue growing till this point and can be permanently damaged.

Thanks @lastqueenofscotlandagain @maxelly @CobbyMouthed great advice. I’ve decided that if I’m jittery it’s for a reason and not going to pursue the pony further. We’ve been looking for 5 months now, and not really after a Connie at all (but dd does want something finer than she has now) really struggling to find something that we’d like to view let alone buy. Don’t like the idea of buying a 13.2 to then have the same problem of being outgrown in a year or two.

i think it's sensible.
If i'm ever called in to ride a pony, its normally one where the young rider has been over horsed from their first or second pony.

13.2 might not be out grown as quickly as you think. Look at New Forests too, they take up the leg well whilst being lighter than a cob type

Go with gut instinct. Maybe a second viewing but if she's struggling to collect him, I don't think he's for her. I've seen a 16.3 ISH nearly as wide as he is tall (he's such a barrel ❤️ literally never stops eating) who used to SJ competitively, so does get excited, go and jump perfectly for a 9 year old girl who's feet barely cleared the saddle flaps. He's just that sort of horse.

If your 11 year old daughter can't collect this pony then to me that says that this pony can be a bit strong and this was probably best behaviour for him. He doesn't sound ideal. I love Connies, they're intelligent and sweet natured for the most part but they can be cheeky little bastards if they think they'll get away with it. Plus 6 is still young and prime time for playing silly buggers to get out of work.

Really for her age and to progress she wants a pony like that horse who will follow direction just because she asks him and it doesn't occur to him not to, not because she's having a battle of wills to make him. I wouldn't want to buy someone who will knock her confidence.

Agree with PPs, see if you can find something through the pony club that's done a bit more and see how she gets on with that. I have seen this exact scenario play out unfortunately, non-horsey well meaning mum encouraged by her instructor to buy a young Connie for her daughter's second pony. The car crash that followed resulted in the daughter giving up for good, lovely pony just far too much for her. Always follow your gut.

My dd is 11 and it's a minefield. She's moving on from a 13.2 pony. She's not outgrown him size wise but has in ability as he is a golden oldie.

I've seen lots of connies for sale (with dealers) at very high prices but they are all about 4 or 5 years old.

To me no matter how quiet that horse is when ridden by a dealer it is very different when sat on by my dd.

I don't want to buy a 13.2 pony as I can see 6 months time we'll be looking for a bigger pony.

I think I have reconciled that it's probably not possible to buy dd a pony now that will last her forever so we are still looking for a 14.2 but with a few more miles on the clock, a steady eddy, and even if it lasts her 2-3 years and then look to go for the next step from there, which could well be a 5yr old Connie.

My 5'1 almost 13 year old is only just going onto a 13.2 (granted we don't have the budget to buy so she pretty much gets what she's given - tricky, green, unschooled, whatever)

Our newest is a lightweight cob, takes up the leg beautifully and is incredibly scopey, but has only ever been ridden by a very experienced adult so it's going to be a learning experience

Don't be put off by something a little smaller, it'll cost you more in the long run if she's overhorsed and loses her confidence

Would it be better to loan with a view to buying maybe? So she gets to try him out beforehand for a month or 2.

Connies are fab, but ime a bit much for a child. They are clever, quick and keen to learn, with a turn of speed to them that can surprise a rider who is not full together themself yet. A connie would be a big step up from a 12hh first pony, probably a step up too far. We had a 13.3hh Welsh C as a step between 12hh and 15hh. He was everything we needed at the time and took my daughter from 10 years old to 13 (she was not ready to leave him, but I needed something that would either suit my younger DC, or something a bit bigger for her to grow into.) The 15hher, we originally looked at Connies and quickly decided they were too much for us. The one we bought in the end was an Irish cob, probably with a bit of Connemara in him.

The other thing to consider is that 6 is still young. My own horse atm is only 6, and I often find myself gritting my teeth and thinking ‘she’ll learn!’ But I know where I am aiming with her, and have a plan as to how to get there. A child would not necessarily have the knowledge, the patience or even simply the time to ride a younger pony to their best potential, and unless your child is a skilled rider with an understanding that they will be focussing on the long term then a 6 yo will likely be a frustrating challenge for them.

I would look for something with a nice nature and an proven track record - height is less relevant. When our 15hh went lame earlier this year, my daughter took the 13.3hh out competing and did very well indeed on him. Kids don’t grow out of them as fast as they think they do!

Btw there is nothing more miserable than an over-horsed child. Trust me on this. Your child (and most adults if we are being honest!) want a horse that they enjoy every second with, not one they are a little bit scared of, because it can blow up pretty quickly if the horse is clever and realises their human is a bit afraid of them. If they don’t have a generous nature, the horse can very quickly take advantage and before you know it you have a child who does not want to ride at all. Mine have never been overhorsed. I’ve actually been accused of underhorsing them by some at our PC branch, but they’ve had fabulous times on their ponies, and represented their country, so I quite happy with my ‘slightly safe’ neddies.

I would say trust your gut too - Connie's are fab ponies but intelligent and very quick to decide if their people are up to the job.