Non horsey mum looking for helping DD competition ambitions

[walker1211]

Looking for advice on supporting my daughter's competitive riding ambitions

Hi everyone, I’m hoping someone with more experience can help guide me on how best to support my daughter’s competition pony dreams.

My 10-year-old DD is absolutely pony mad. Her big goal is to join Pony Club, go to camp, and compete, but we don’t currently own a pony. She’s been riding since she was about 7 and currently rides once or twice a week. She’s confident with walk, trot, canter, and is building up her jumping skills, won some local dressage competitions. She helps out at the stables every Saturday and during school holidays.

DD is naturally competitive and is eager to do more competitions.

My question is, how do young children typically train for competitive pony riding? So far, I’ve gathered it’s mainly through lessons, Pony Club, or parents who train them personally, but I’m wondering if there are other specific pathways? The girls I know at the stables that go to pony club aren’t necessarily focused on competitons.

I feel more comfortable supporting her in other sports (she has previously gone quite far in gymnastics), but I’m just not sure about how to navigate competitive riding. My niece in the US is also really into riding and her stable seems much more focused on training for competitions, she is competing continuously, whereas here, the path isn’t as clear to me.

Financially, we could buy a pony and keep it at her current stables on full livery, and there is a lot of experience there, so I know they could help us.

My worry is that I don’t actually know myself how to support her in achieving her broader goals of competing and improving, and I’d like to understand the best way forward before taking the next step.

Also am not at all competitive in case this sounds like a pushy mum thing. I just want to support her goals.

Any advice or guidance would be much appreciated!

If competition is the aim then she is probably going to need her own pony - there are riding schools that are more geared up to running internal competitions in various disciplines and/or taking the kids out on the school ponies, there are even national riding school championships for kids on riding school ponies but that kind of school is few and far between these days, it would probably be a bigger school that's also a BHS exam centre and/or pony club centre - it might be worth seeing if you have one of these locally at getting her in there would be a much easier and quicker first step although if she's already done local competitions seems she's doing well there already!

Sorry to have to ask as I know you have said you can afford a pony for her and I don't want to sound off-putting but have you really properly done the sums on how much this is going to cost you in financial and time terms? It really is light years away from say a competitive child in gymnastics or dance and my advice would be to be sure you know what you're getting yourself into! It's not the initial purchase price of the pony and full livery (although those aren't cheap in themselves), you'll likely need to purchase your own transport (either trailer plus car that can tow or a lorry/van) and learn how to drive it (trailer test or possibly even HGV licence), the pony will need exercising 5-6 days a week to stay competition fit, if she can't manage all that herself alongside school either you'll need to do it (learn to lunge or similar) or pay the yard to do it which can get quite pricey. You'll also want to check the terms of the full livery, it's rare to find one that truly covers absolutely all care of the pony without any additional charges, often there's a lot of added extras that you'll again need to either learn to do yourself or pay extra for e.g. clipping, worming, holding for the vet/farrier, tack cleaning - it can add up quite quickly! Also of course depending on the discipline she chooses to largely focus on, the costs of competing (entry fees, correct gear etc) in themselves can be high. And most competitive children have plenty of coaching too, usually weekly lessons with a regular teacher plus occasional external clinics.

I say all this not to put you off if you still want to do it but so you have a complete picture of quite how high a cost it can have on family finances and time, horses have a way of becoming an every single day of the year kind of commitment even if you have them on full livery. There really is no shame in saying it's too much as a non horsey family to take on - plenty of horsey kids don't ever get the chance to compete until they're at least teenagers or even adults and able to do a lot more of the practical work and financial input themselves and it doesn't hurt them long term. They can even go on to professional careers without having competed as a child...

A good step you could look at as an intermediate before you potentially take the plunge into full ownership is to see if your DD can either part-loan/share another child's pony or loan a riding school pony. This would give her a bit of the flavour of what it's like to have to commit to riding in the evenings after school including when it's cold and dark, get her some practice riding outside a riding school/lesson environment which can be a real shock to the system and generally let you get a feeling of what pony ownership might be like before you decide?

This is good advice, I think the competitive part is a step past the next step which is finding your own pony and getting to know it/ kitting it out etc. That is a big step in itself and can't be leapfrogged. Competition with horses is stressful and massively time consuming. It is of course possible to get there but a lot of leg work to get to that stage and it may well be hard to be competitive against children who have been doing it much longer. More realistic is joining PC and going to camp as a start once you have the pony.

I would suggest look at what your local pony club BRANCH not centre (and any other branches in reasonable distance) off as they now have unmounted members. https://pcuk.org/find-a-pony-club/

Some branches are very good and offer lots of badgework and unmounted theory training for those without horses, so look and see what the branch offers, maybe phone them up and chat if it's not obvious on their website. Quite often, once you've got to know people, you'll find there are members outgrown ponies looking for a rider or temporary home sometimes till a younger family member is big enough, or because they don't want to part with a lovely pony. Best ponies are passed on by word of mouth. Sometimes these opportunities are free eg I used to take the companion pony to my daughter's along to pony club (and competitions) for another child to ride - benefit to me was said pony got exercised.
There is always the opportunity to compete as a Pony Club member, but you do not HAVE to compete, it is optional.
@maxelly has some great advice

If she wants to compete then really you need your own pony and preferably some transport . Join the pony club and some local equine groups on FB and there are always shows and clinics being advertised . Does your riding school have a pony club section , if not perhaps move to one that does initially .

Thank you all so much for your advice – I really appreciate you taking the time to help!
I hadn’t considered joining Pony Club before owning a pony, as I thought she would just be covering the same things she does during her stable work on Saturdays. But I didn’t think about the networking opportunities, and the possibility of finding someone with a spare pony for her to use occasionally is definitely something to explore.

We’ve been looking for a share for about six months now, and while a few situations didn’t work out for various reasons, she is currently sharing a pony at her riding school. She also occasionally rides privately owned ponies there when their owners are away, but unfortunately, she can’t take any of them to Pony Club since it’s more of a livery yard than a riding school.

There is a group of kids at the yard who go to Pony Club and share transport, and I’ve spoken with my pony-owning friends about the costs, so I feel fairly clued up on that side of things (definitely a different ball game compared to gymnastics costs! 😂).

For now, I’ll look into joining Pony Club, continue with her current sharing arrangement, and plan to take the step toward owning a pony next year.
Thanks again!

Joining the pony club is also a really good way to source a suitable pony. The instructors and DC will know all the ponies and there are always children outgrowing their pony. Once your daughter is in, you can ask specifically if anyone is selling a suitable pony. You need one that has been there and done that as a first pony. It's a big step up from riding school horses to your own and there will be one that can increase your daughters confidence in jumping / flat work. Good luck

As well as all the other suggestions I’d recommend your dd going on a couple of riding holidays - the ones at Wellington are fabulous. She’ll get to ride twice a day, try out different things, look after ‘her’ pony for the week and on the last day they’ll have fun competitions. My dd went every year from 10-15 before she got her own horse and each time her riding would come on in leaps and bounds. When she got her own horse she joined our local pony club and did rallies and competitions with them as well as taking her pony club tests. She’s now riding for a living despite not coming from a horsey background.

My dd events with British Eventing. I've just added up the costs this year including diesel and lessons and it was close to 6k, obviously not including the horse which luckily we bought 10 years ago for 7k!. I really don't want to put you off, and eventing is probably the worst for costs, but do bear in mind the expense.

Thank you. It's good to see the add-up. It is a huge cost I agree!

Thank you so much for this, this is exactly the type of holiday I have been looking for but haven't managed to find anything this well step up!

Agree with PP that there is an intermediate step here, between a keen but beginner rider & competitive rider. She needs access to an alrounder pony, which you apparently now have & she needs to learn all the basics of horsemanship. The Pony Club is excellent for that. If you move to ownership, be sure she doesn’t get “over-horsed”, that is, taking on a horse beyond her abilities. Kids learn the most from a kick-along type, rather than a forward type. It is important to maintain her confidence. Once you get into the swing of Pony Club, you will start to learn a lot yourself. The DCs ( leader in charge of the club) are usually excellent, and I found other parents friendly. She can then have a look ant competing ant whatever level she is comfortable with. Enjoy!

Definitely pony club. It's like brownies with horses but loads of competition opportunities and knowledgeable parents/ponyclub officials who will help and support you. Your dd will get the opportunity to try out lots of different disciplines too. Dd2 is currently starting pony racing whilst dd1 concentrates on showjumping with a view to event. None of it would have been possible without pony club

Also@walker1211 don’t stress about being non horsey yourself . I rode from 5 and we got our first when I was 11 ( ended up with 4 ) and my parents went from non horsey to very involved in care , they never rode but both of them were capable of handling , mucking out , grooming etc and you’d never have known that they started as complete novices .

Lots of good advice here about Pony Club etc. I would also say look at local riding clubs - quite a lot have large junior sections with plenty of competition happening. My DD started competing at age 10ish, for a couple of months on a riding school pony but we already had plans to get her a pony and did so fairly quickly after that, as well as a trailer to get them out and about to things. She competed at riding club for 3 seasons, and during that phase, we sort of got on the bandwagon of a lot of local unaffiliated competition, showjumping mainly, qualified for some things, and ended up at a couple of national championships. That all happened without really having a strategy as such. It's one of those things where the more you do, the more you discover there is to do. I run the SJ at our riding club and it's amazing how quickly people go from having their first go around the cross poles, to collecting points and aiming for season championships and things, it all happens without you realising it!

We now have DD's second pony and she is starting to event, so lots of SJ, XC and dressage comps whilst we're working up to that. Thinking about Pony Club again but at the moment just going out with friends to things. She's on a couple of the Riding Club teams at the moment so plenty going on really!

I think it's a bit different to the US because I had the sense that over there people actually stable at a 'competition yard' and it is a big focus for everyone with shared coaching, big trips out as a large group etc. It isn't really like that here, you sort of make it happen yourself, but Pony Club and Riding Clubs are a good foundation to start doing that. I'm big on chatting to other parents whilst we're out at things and you soon build a network of friends and like-minded folks. In fact the other weekend we weren't competing as pony having some time off and we spent about 4 hours at a local unaffiliated SJ event because we were just chatting to people....all 'random' people we'd met at other events, but who we would now call friends. Sorry I realise the social and making friends wasn't really the point of your question, but I guess it illustrates that you can go pretty quickly from being a newby with no real idea what to do or where to go, to suddenly knowing every event going on locally and regionally, and who will be at what, etc.

Thank you so much for this. I had not heard of riding clubs, but I will look at this.

If she really wants to compete seriously, you will end up needing your own transport- she'll want to plan her own calendar, not just be reliant on what she can get lifts to! This could be a 4x4 with a trailer (no need for a trailer test anymore) or a 3.5t, both of which can be driven on a normal car licence. Either way there are obvious costs involved and either you or her dad would need to be comfortable driving her (and towing the horse which can be pretty stressful).

The other thing with owning your own is that horses/ponies do go wrong pretty quickly- you can end up with a lame pony and your daughter still has nothing to ride- plus you've got a massive vet's bill too (even with insurance, you may well end up with some costs, and then you get exclusions on the insurance etc...).

I would also say it becomes a massive time sink- if you have other children, it's worth thinking about the time/energy needed to go to even a local horse show vs other competitive events- plus training, keeping the pony fit, caring for the pony etc. Even on full livery, there's usually an expectation for owners to have some day to day involvement!

I'm not saying don't do it, but it really is a whole family commitment, not just something for your daughter. Pony club is great and a good branch will give you lots of support starting out. There are also great instructors out there who will support you if you can find the right person.

FWIW, I'd try to steer her away from eventing, if possible- it really does get very expensive, very quickly, and very much ends up being a full day (outdoor) commitment. At least in winter you can go and do a quick(ish) showjumping round or dressage test in an indoor and be done with it!

@Postapocalypticcowgirl I don’t disagree with what you’re describing, but OP’s DD is at Step 1 - novice but keen child with no horse. You are describing Step 3. Step 2 is getting access to pony, improving general horsemanship & knowledge (both DD & OP) and seeing where her interests lie. This is essential before she considers serious competition. At Step 2, time devoted needn’t be excessive (not cut into time for other children’s activities) and own transport not necessary.
I speak as someone who took my own DC age 9 through theses stages - we were mainly thinking about getting her skills improved within the context of having a basic, kick-along pony on working livery. Only later did we notch it up a gear.Plenty of kids lose interest at Step 2.
My own DD went on to do BE & BD & is a very competent amateur competitor.

Riding Club has been perfect for my kids, ours is essentially run by their riding school, so they compete at the area qualifiers & nationals on riding school horses, some local shows too. It would be nice to have our own & not be bound to the team schedule sometimes but this way is so much easier!