Help with confidence

[Grannysmithy]

I just wanted to see if anyone had any tips on improving overall confidence in all things related to horses.
I've ridden on & off all my life and had some really good times, but also some pretty bad experiences (including bolshy horses & a fall involving broken bones)
I'm now in my 40's and struggling with nerves & lacking confidence in my own abilities. I part loan a wonderful cob, who is an absolute star & a real confidence giver, despite this my confidence is still not improving. I have lessons on him which are great, but I seem to be stuck in the same place in my head.
I'm planning on booking some lessons in the new year at a professional yard where they have great instructors & various clinics & events, to give me experience of riding different types etc.
In the meantime does anyone have any recommendations of good books to read / podcasts etc or any other ideas to help me stop being such a nervous Nelly?!
Thank you in advance

These people are really excellent, not cheap but a beautiful setting

https://www.horsebackcombat.co.uk/courses/rider-confidence-course/

Could you be peri-menopausal? Lots of women really struggle with confidence in their 40s/50s - it might be worth a chat with your GP. My confidence went to pieces after a bad fall a couple of years ago. I was really struggling to get canter back once I was able to ride again - what helped was lunge lessons so I could really work on my position and relaxing into the saddle and finding a fabulous instructor who gives me lots of process to focus on if I’m feeling wobbly so my brain doesn’t get a chance to start worrying!

Thank you so much for your replies, wasn't sure if I'd get any.
@maxelly the course sounds brilliant, I've just had a read through & definitely sounds like the kind of thing that would be really helpful.

I am going to contact them to find out more - thanks for the recommendation.

@Pleasedontdothat you've hit the nail on the head! Yes, I am peri menopausal. I have definitely noticed a huge increase in anxiety & have actually just started HRT. Fingers crossed it'll help with that side of things. Lunge lessons are another good idea, knowing someone has a hold from the ground is 100% good for building that confidence. Another great idea, as is having things to focus on, so thank you.

One of the most frustrating things is that I know I CAN ride & actually have a pretty good seat. It's all the constant what ifs that go round & round & stop me even trying half the time. For example, I'd love to go out for a little hack now & then but have to catch me on a rare brave day before I'll even consider it.

Determined to get those brave pants on!

I think the first and most important thing is making sure the horse you are riding is right for you. It sounds like yours is. Then just get on and do what scares you. If you want to hack, make an arrangement to go with someone, which makes it far harder to cancel, then just go. Maybe start with short rides, and build up from there. The more you do, and have a positive experience, the more confident you will feel.